Tuesday, February 27, 2007


You go, BearMeat!

I notice that both BearMeat and Swanburg are right on top of the search for the coke-addicted hookers recently accused of terrible misdeeds. There are several compelling yet confusing aspects to this story:

1) The misdeeds they are accused of are neither prostitution nor narcotics (two charges that jump immediately to my prosecutorial mind when I hear the term "coke-addicted hookers"), but rather copyright infringement.

2) What kind of intellectual property would coke-addicted hookers appropriate? From what I can gather the addict-hooker crowd doesn't publish much.

3) Why is it that this mystery is being pursued by a Baylor sports blog? It seems the more natural investigator would be IPLawGuy. He knows a lot about this stuff (copyright infringement).

4) Could it be that the true perpetrator is ex-blogger Chris Frankenhooker? I wouldn't be surprised to find out he is involved somehow...

OK BLS students, or future BLS students or law students from other schools who tripped over this, here's your lesson in the "real life" of practicing law, unlike what they teach you in law school.

If someone comes into your office, or calls you on the phone or sends you an email with tale like this one, here's what you do first:

Get a big retainer.

If your potential client balks or hems and haws, then move on.... quick. There are lots of nutjobs, disgruntled ex boyfriends, ex girlfriends, ex employees, former co workers, former friends and other assorted losers with axes to grind. And some with real axes-- folks with real, honest to goodness grievances.

Unfortunately either they can't afford to pay you to "fix" their problems or, even if they do have the cash to pay, in the end, you can't really do much for them other than tell them, "Sorry, you got screwed and now the statute has run" or "these people are now bankrupt and judgment proof" and so on.

In this case, I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that someone who is posting a misspelled announcement on Craigslist (Yes, I am a lousy typist, but I think I'd proof an announcement like this) did not really have actual patents or copyrights. Maybe he had a plan to file for a patent... someday, but unless he did, he probably has nothing.

The amount of time it would take you to sort out fiction from reality has to be accounted for.. hence my admonition:

Get a big retainer.
We stumbled across it and couldn't resist. Just too good to be true. If we were casting craigslist post as a major Hollywood movie, we would ask you, dear Professor, to play the role of the ambulance chaser, who has this "case" fall into his lap when a haggard, Rip Van Winkle-looking client comes into his office screaming about copyright theft and snuff films.

Assuming, some pimps sold some IP to a "deep pocket" justifying the $10K finder's fee for these whores, how much do you think this case might be worth in settlement/judgment terms?
More importantly, what would the title of the film be?
"Patent Pimps." The tagline could be "Pimps who will snatch your intellectual properties."
"They took his ideas... and gave him the Clap."
I just spit water all over my screen after reading that last comment. Hillarious.
Aren't you in class at 2:49pm? If so, are you not paying attention (because all of about 25% actually are in that class)?
I kind of miss Swanburg's Mom.
Iplawguy said...

"They took his ideas... and gave him the Clap."

1:22 PM

This was brilliant, Iplawguy
Blush... Thanks.
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