Friday, February 23, 2007


It's Haiku Friday, Baby! I feel good!

It's a big one this week, folks. Huge. So get your haiku on, baby. Here are some possible topics. You can mix and match, or come up with your own:

1) What Bates eats
2) Things you aren't allowed to do on Swiss trains
3) The beauty of Spring
4) Britney
5) Tyd's new kitchen
6) Reasons not to eat hair
7) Obama v. Clinton
8) The Slob Army
9) That weird judge in the Anna Nicole Smith case
10) NBA All-Star shenanigans

Here is mine:

Britney, don't do that,
Not here on this Swiss train car;
No, I won't eat hair!

Your turn...


Feel free to tease me
but The OC is no more
I loved that dumb show
D-Wade year over
He is scared of the 2-3
Mavs Championship?
skiing in Whistler
On same coast with Tydwithbleach
Same as Britney too
Crying judge has ruled.
Hearing over. Turn TV off.
Back to Home Depot.
I love Puffalumps
Soft, squishy, head full of fluff
Smarter than Britney.
Hot wind, dust, night damp;
Sleeping on the bare platform,
Rubbish out windows:

Not there on Swiss trains.
No B.O. or spicy food,
Sprawling India.

Pay and don't be late
Binds Swiss and Indians. A
Universe apart.


More Ikea trips--
DIY in foreign tongues--
Tyd, come rescue me!
Bald pates are lovely,
Brynner, Stewart, Savalas,
Britt'ny, not so much.
She goes in and out
Britt needs lots help, get momma
K-feds lookin good
...Baby One More Time,
Oops! ...I'm in rehab again.
My Prerogative!

-----Celebrity Luvr (I'm ashamed that I know the title to 3 of Brit's songs).

Mom, Larry, Howard K.,
I'm a Bahama Mama!
Let me R.I.P.
She never should have titled a song "Oops, I did it again." That was beautiful, Lvr.
Swissgirl, just relax
Slip out of that dirndl, slow
I will pour Moet.
Hands off her, Smoovie!
You don't do Swissgirl like dat'-
They love accounting.
Bates read the label
Rogaine must be rubbed on top
Do not eat the stuff
Ah, Diet Pepsi
Bates will use you to wash down
the hearts of the young

- The VR
Crying ex-cabbie
Should have Dems testify—move
Venue to swiss train.
Celebrity "moms"
Civil liberties? So what?
Should be sterilized
The Drama Mamas
Brit looks like a bowling ball
Anna's judge sheds tears
For Britney Lynn Spears
Crazy secedes normalcy
As the status quo
For Bradley Thomas,
Crazy secedes normalcy
As the status quo
Bates' skinny secret:
Bananas, Peanut Butter,
And Diet Pepsi

My skinny secret:
Candy, Pizza, and Hot Dogs,
Always use the stairs
My favorite Swiss
Languid, articulate, deep
She's in love with words.
Commander of Slobs--
Generalissimo Bates
His army contracts.
My skinny secret:
Gummy bears? Tivo? Meth?

Habib seemed SO NICE!
Wants $11K to tile
the kitchen. Bye now!

Bereft of Tile Guy,
I must take class, watch TV,
Teach self to set tile.

PS, I hate you Habib.
A judge is stoic,
Wise, mature, always composed;
Except when Anna rots.
I love frozen food.
Lean Cuisine, SouthBeach, Stouffers
Preservatives RULE!

Bill went to concert
Dave Lindley, whoever that
is. I have the kid.

Long night ahead: Bob
The Builder, PBS Kids
Drinking Juice Boxes

Tickle Monster and
stories and Curious George
Life with a toddler.

Red Robin has these
Mango Margaritas I
love them. Girl Drink Drunk.
Dave Lindley is Great
A Session Man for the star
Album: El Rayo X
Versace dresses
Fancy gems, tuxes, flashy smiles
It is "Osler" night!
I look terrible in Versace. I think it is my coloring.
FYI: "Joe Weather" - the Waco Tribune-Herald weather-blogger has joined the Haiku Friday tradition.
YEah my husband and you and Osler would probably get along.. He is also a big ORLEANS fan.

Bill is into music like Osler is into I dunno Federal Sentencing guidelines.... It reminds me of this one Far Side Cartoon. Two windows:
One says: "WHat We say to dogs:

"GInger you are a very bad dog, Ginger and I do not want you to chew this sofa one more time and if I catch, you Ginger, you are going to be in serious trouble....."

and the second one says:

"What dogs hear:"

" blah blah blah GINGER blah blah blah blah blah blah GINGER blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah GINGER blah blah blah blah.."

That is what I hear when Bill starts talking about music. Its HORRRIBLE ITs like in the car every song that comes on the radio he has like an anecdote about it.. like

"DId you know that he wrote this one about his Dentist's mother? And it was the only one of his songs that anyone ever remembers and he hated playing it forever for the rest of his life....."


"Do you hear that solo? That guy had only three fingers on two of his hands when he recorded this album, yet he taught himslef to play like that after this debilitating plane crash/ tour bus accident/ Meth explosion and he was even better after the accident. IN fact this was his most critically acclaimed album...."

and I hate to say it, because I do love my husband, but all I hear is blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
PS Swiss Girl...

If it is any comfort to you, I go to Ikea too and its all home improvement in Swedish.. its a freaking nightmare. IF the prices were not so great and the products were not so cool I would forget it, But I cannot live without my HEMKÄR, my KRYSSBO or
especially my HEMNES.

OK that is a lie. I only dream about having a KRYSSBO.
Bates is a Klingon
Traditional Klingon food
Rokeg Blood Pie
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