Wednesday, December 06, 2006

 

Celebrity Update!


Sometimes I worry that people think I'm just some kind of policy wonk with my nose in a sentencing book all the time. It's not true! To prove it, here's something I like to call "Osler's Razor Celebrity Update!"--

News flash! It appears that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston have broken up! Rumor has it that Angelica Huston played a role in their trip to Splitsville, as she has been seen at Hollywood hot spots on the arm of Mr. Pitt. Anjelica, meanwhile, has purchased a baby boy from Madonna, who was in Africa with her husband, Lionel Ritchie. Hubby Lionel was working on a new album, it was reported, which plays out several themes from the Commodores' hit "Brick House," including an entire song about the woman who is so mighty-mighty that she's built like an Amazon.

Kate Hudson has also been the talk of Hollywood, as it appears that her relationship with Kurt Russell has developed into something serious! Russell's old beau, Goldie Hawn, has been spotted canoodling with well-known talker Michael Dreeben. Dreeben, now free from the clutches of Brittany Spears, has been hitting the nightlife hard himself, spotted at several DC hot spots with Seth Waxman, Laurence Tribe, John Paul Stevens, Doug Berman, and Dee Snyder of Twisted Sister fame. Tribe reports that rumors of an after-hours fistfight with Erwin Chemerinski in the parking lot of the Tabu nightclub are just that-- rumors! Chemerinski, meanwhile, has been working on a rap music video with Lil' Kim and Special Ed; the first single, "Empowering States: A Rebuttal to Dr. Greve" is due out this week. The news from DC is that Michael Greve is not happy about this particular tribute... does anyone else smell another intra-celebrity shoot-out in front of the Hot97 building when Chemerinski stops in for an interview tomorrow... one hour before Greve and his posse are scheduled to appear? Tune in Friday to find out!

Comments:
Ha, very amusing. Just don't rip off my man James Anchower.

And if you start sounding like Jean Teasdale, I'll call for an AA style intervention.
 
Madonna and Lionel Ritchie have been divorced for years, and I don't know where you get your information but Anjeilca Huston is dating Nelson Mandela.

Take a ride on the Clue Bus...
 
Is the clue bus that really short one? Because that is my usual bus.
 
What? No Britney Spears? What kind of celebrity column is this?
 
I fixed that Brittany Spears problem. Spears... rrrrrr.
 
What, you tried to give Britney a brain, not unlike the Wizard of Oz and the Scarecrow?

I don't think Britney has as much raw material to work with as the Scarecrow.
 
Ew Kate Hudson is Kurt Russell's daughter. Ewww.
 
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