Thursday, October 26, 2006

 

We have a winner!

Well, Christophe Von Fahrenforger finally returned from a sojourn to San Diego, and we can now announce the winner of last Friday's Haiku. It is Ryan Lindly, who penned a lovely ode to Ayn Rand. Apparently, according to our judge, Mr. Lindly is an objectivist pubescent.

Below are Mr. Fahrenholdtenden's comments:

I vuz vonce a boy in Staaten-Mertzen, a wee canton of the Low Countries known for both eetz beautiful dikey vistas and its high quality of heineken-ku. Zere vuz a man known all over Staaten-Mertzen as zee greatest of the "heineku" poets, a man named Nathaniel Branden. Branden, of course, went on to be the Benjamin Braddock of the postwar pseudo-philosophy-cum-regurgitated-free-market-ideas world ven he vuz seduced by zat hexing philosopheress, zee very comparable Ayn Rand. Perhaps you begin to see zee connection...

Monsier von Lindly has channelled the talent of Herr Branden and the free-market grubbiness of Mademoiselle Rand herself in his lovely heineku, vich I shall call...

"Stopping by the Fed on a Snowy Eve; or, O Captain, Shy Captain?"

Ayn Rand would never
Bake you cookies shaped like trees.
Awful grandmother.

Non! Nein! She vouldn't! She vould never bake you cookies shaped like trees! Oh, but it's so true! If anything, Mizz Rand would bake them in the shape of dollar signs, or rather, pay someone to bake them for you. And oui! What a horrible grandmother she vould make! No gifts, for zey are mere coddling of zee veak that subject the transcendent ego to zee oppressive cookie-sweet tooth of zee collective. Cf. Sir Kipling ("...by robbing selected Peter/to pay for collective Paul...").

Monsieur Lindly--who I have to assume is a New York relative of zat enchanting Capeside, Mass siren-turned-tragic-mother Jen Lindley--captures zee essence of zee Objectivist zeitgeist, eetz vonderful pubescent contrarian predictability...all zee vhile maintaining a zimplistic unpredictability.

Edgy, no?

Vell done, Monsieur Lindly. Now go on more trips to Europe, and post more pictures of zee beautiful posteriors Americain on your blog.

Comments:
Aww. . . I was so sure that my haiku about how bad my apartment smelled was going to win! Oh well, I guess i'll have set my eyes on the Bates picture now.

Is Bates wearing a hat in the picture? Is he smiling?
 
I would like to thank Amy Piekoff, Leonard's wife, for being so hot my sophomore year of undergrad and teaching 'Ethics.' Definitely helped me connect maternal figures and objectivism. She and her colleague Tara Smith formed a tag-team of hot, young anti-altruism. That year, at least some action was directed back toward the self. Thank you for the comments.

Beware though, some of those bottoms are English and Scottish-- If you find the Swedish ones, guess which one is my future wife.
 
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