Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Here is a test question...
Finals are around the corner. As for my own PR final, it will be a series of short essay questions. To help people chill out a little, I'll put one question from the test here. Feel free to provide your answers in the comment section.
Question 47(h)
You and your trial partner are involved in defending a slip-and-fall case before a County Court in Texas. Your trial partner, a Wookie, excels at opening statements and you are particularly talented at cross-examination, due to your ability to use Jedi Mind Tricks, such as this:
Q: So you love your brother and would do anything to help him?
A: Well, I wouldn't lie in court for him.
Q [in a calm and even tone]: You would lie for him and are doing so now.
A [robot-like]: I would lie for him. I am lying for him now.
Your client is paying your fee with a combination of high-grade marijuana, cocker spaniel puppies, and Trix cereal. You are also strangely attracted to the judge's clerk, who often wears bike shorts (with the padding) to work and refers to you as "The Sultan" in an alluring accent. Also, there is a strange mechanical suction noise coming from the judge's bench periodically, and he frequently entertains visitors at the bench during trial examinations, including Madonna and Lisa Simpson (of television's "The Simpsons").
Based on the facts above, please answer the following three questions:
1. Can you use the business name "1-800-WOOKIES?"
2. Should you allow your wookie to talk to the press and denigrate opposing counsel, given that everything in his Wookie language comes out as yelling "Raaaaaaagh!" while waving his hands over his head?
3. Through unfortunate personal experience requiring dry cleaning, it becomes clear to you that your Wookie (who does not wear pants) is taking a leak under counsel table during trial. What should you do?
Comments:
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I think you are a little bit nuts and I love it. I hope your blog is the spark that begins needed change at BLS. I'm not sure if you fully realize the angst that students and graduates alike feel about BLS. I spoke with one of the attorneys at my firm yesterday about their experience at BLS----answer: hated it and will never give one cent. I can assure you that many more feel this way, and that's unfortunate.
It's not that people believe they didn't get a good education, it's the way they were treated that grates them and jades them towards BLS, apparently for life.
Keep up the good work Prof. Osler. It probably will take an "outsider" to bring about change.
It's not that people believe they didn't get a good education, it's the way they were treated that grates them and jades them towards BLS, apparently for life.
Keep up the good work Prof. Osler. It probably will take an "outsider" to bring about change.
# posted by 
: 8:25 AM
: 8:25 AM
Anonymous gets a "0" for not answering the questions. The Spanish Inquisition would never allow such a thing.
My answers: Question #1: No, I called that number and they (the Wookies) sent me a video called "Wookies Gone Wild: the BLS" but with all that hair getting in the way, it was less than satisfying.
#2: Yes. Slander would be very hard to prove if everything transcribed as "Aargh!". A nice strategy, really.
#3: I don't know. Neither the Pillsbury Dough-boy nor the Michelin Man wear pants, and they seem to get away with it. Get a can of that 3M mystery spray that waterproofs garments. That might work.
My answers: Question #1: No, I called that number and they (the Wookies) sent me a video called "Wookies Gone Wild: the BLS" but with all that hair getting in the way, it was less than satisfying.
#2: Yes. Slander would be very hard to prove if everything transcribed as "Aargh!". A nice strategy, really.
#3: I don't know. Neither the Pillsbury Dough-boy nor the Michelin Man wear pants, and they seem to get away with it. Get a can of that 3M mystery spray that waterproofs garments. That might work.
#1: After some thorough research, I have discovered that 1-800-WOOKIES (or 1-800-966-5447 in alphanumeric terms) is not available. However, you can get the 1-877 or 1-866 version. Whoever owns 1-800-WOOKIES is keeping it under wraps. All that is known about the number is that it is a "U.S. Toll-Free Number". If you call 1-800-966-5448 though, you get Micro$oft. Interesting...
And even if 1-800-WOOKIES were available, I don't think George Lucas would let you hang on to it very long. Lucas would rain down the fury from Skywalker Ranch like no one's business... and nothing say "fury" like two Trandoshans with something to prove.
Also, I believe Lucas might just have a case under 1-800 Flowers Inc v. Phonenames Ltd.
#2: I would not allow my wookiee to speak to the public. Our primary strategy would be to use the wookiee in closed, controlled settings (like chambers) where "Rrrnnnnnggggh!", showing fangs and flailing arms does not immediately translate into charges of assault. I have a feeling the rule "Let The Wookiee Win" would not fly far in a society already proliferated with minorities and laws to protect them as well. The wookiee is just another alien, but his presence at my side would get the message across clearly enough - I think.
#3: My only recommendation to the non-house-broken Wookiee is to get a pair of wellies and make sure you add attorney's fees for a cleaning crew. This is kind of like the 800-pound gorilla and the hotel room joke.
And even if 1-800-WOOKIES were available, I don't think George Lucas would let you hang on to it very long. Lucas would rain down the fury from Skywalker Ranch like no one's business... and nothing say "fury" like two Trandoshans with something to prove.
Also, I believe Lucas might just have a case under 1-800 Flowers Inc v. Phonenames Ltd.
#2: I would not allow my wookiee to speak to the public. Our primary strategy would be to use the wookiee in closed, controlled settings (like chambers) where "Rrrnnnnnggggh!", showing fangs and flailing arms does not immediately translate into charges of assault. I have a feeling the rule "Let The Wookiee Win" would not fly far in a society already proliferated with minorities and laws to protect them as well. The wookiee is just another alien, but his presence at my side would get the message across clearly enough - I think.
#3: My only recommendation to the non-house-broken Wookiee is to get a pair of wellies and make sure you add attorney's fees for a cleaning crew. This is kind of like the 800-pound gorilla and the hotel room joke.
# posted by : 10:06 AM
: 10:06 AM
in that picture, chewie looks like he shampoos and conditions his fur. do you think he shampoos and conditions?
# posted by : 10:41 AM
: 10:41 AM
1. There was no meeting of the minds and no consideration passed between the parties, so no contract existed. Therefore the Wookie has no control over the name 1 800 WOOKIES. Use the name.
2. Although Justice Cardozo probably could have found proximate cause, a la Pfaltzgraf, it does not appear the Wookie is hurting anyone or caused any damage. The plaintiff should not collect damage.... or pass Go.
3. Just as Cohen could express his opinions by wearing an army jacket with the legend "F--- the Draft," the Wookie should be allowed to express his First Amendment rights by taking a leak under the table.
2. Although Justice Cardozo probably could have found proximate cause, a la Pfaltzgraf, it does not appear the Wookie is hurting anyone or caused any damage. The plaintiff should not collect damage.... or pass Go.
3. Just as Cohen could express his opinions by wearing an army jacket with the legend "F--- the Draft," the Wookie should be allowed to express his First Amendment rights by taking a leak under the table.
# posted by : 10:50 AM
: 10:50 AM
Taco-- I think probably for a Hollywood photo shoot, he would both shampoo and condition-- or, rather, a production assistant has to do it while he lies in a tub. Blech.
Everyone else-- those are terrible answers. No one sees an ethical problem with the bike shorts?
Everyone else-- those are terrible answers. No one sees an ethical problem with the bike shorts?
Oh, so the Fashion Night thing DOES have some relevance to the Final! Which ABA Model Rule is violated by being attracted to a clerk in or out of bike shorts?
Or is Texas a Code state? In that case, I understand.
As for the Judge and the sucking noises, I never did understand the Rule in Shelley's Case
Or is Texas a Code state? In that case, I understand.
As for the Judge and the sucking noises, I never did understand the Rule in Shelley's Case
# posted by : 11:33 AM
: 11:33 AM
I can't believe I missed Quesiton #4 regarding the bike shorts.
This does not bode well for my Contracts exam. *Tear*
This does not bode well for my Contracts exam. *Tear*
# posted by : 12:17 PM
: 12:17 PM
There is not question number four, nor is there any mention of bike shorts in the other questions. Nonetheless, you must assume the question and then answer it.
Upon rereading, I am surprised you didn't link the second question which mentions the Wookie waving his hands in the air to your earlier posts about dancing baristas waving their hands in the air like they just don't care, which in turn linked to Ken Mehlman, Chairman of the RNC, doing same, courtesy of the Wonkette site.
You're slipping.
You're slipping.
# posted by : 2:08 PM
: 2:08 PM
My niece is 4 and has totally mastered the Jedi mind trick. Example:
M: Hey, I said no more popsicles before dinner.
N: You can't see me eating a popsicle.
I'm totally sending her to law school when she's old enough. For now, I'll just call her as an expert witness.
M: Hey, I said no more popsicles before dinner.
N: You can't see me eating a popsicle.
I'm totally sending her to law school when she's old enough. For now, I'll just call her as an expert witness.
# posted by : 2:56 PM
: 2:56 PM
I need more info. Male or female clerk? And, since spandex is a privelege and not a right, is the clerk violating that rule? Is there a lisp involved when he/she refers to me as "The Sultan"? Did the high-grade marijuana factor into my decision to let a wookie sit second chair? Does the wookie owe me a life debt?
Am I doing that thing where I completely miss the pertinent issues again?
Am I doing that thing where I completely miss the pertinent issues again?
1. I wouldn't advertise myself as a business. Trial lawyers look bad enough already.
2. No, my Wookie would not talk to the press. Even assuming some people in the press's audience can understand him--as the jury surely can, or else why use his eloquent opening statements?--the waving of hands in the air makes him appear a loose cannon. Not good publicity for my client, whose reputation is questionable anyway.
3. Wookie needs to be in one of those cages like the defendants in other countries. I could communicate with him through sign language. And how did that clip strapped across his chest get through security? Even in Texas County Court? Wookie needs to lose that thing.
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2. No, my Wookie would not talk to the press. Even assuming some people in the press's audience can understand him--as the jury surely can, or else why use his eloquent opening statements?--the waving of hands in the air makes him appear a loose cannon. Not good publicity for my client, whose reputation is questionable anyway.
3. Wookie needs to be in one of those cages like the defendants in other countries. I could communicate with him through sign language. And how did that clip strapped across his chest get through security? Even in Texas County Court? Wookie needs to lose that thing.
# posted by : 11:25 PM
: 11:25 PM << Home
