Tuesday, September 12, 2006
The Worst Witness Ever
The direct/cross examination exercises in Practice Court have reminded me of some high- and low-lights of the past. For example, transcribed below is my memory of a terrible direct examination from a few years ago. The student recruited a replacement witness at the last minute and brought him up to speed on the facts of the case, but left out a few crucial details. To his credit, he did use the technique of impeaching by prior inconsistent statement. Remember, this is a direct, not a cross-examination:
Attorney: Could you introduce yourself to the jury?
Witness: [brightly] Hi!
Attorney: Well, could you state your name for the record?
Witness: My name?
Attorney: Yes, so it's on the record.
Witness: Um.... David Smithers.
Attorney: "David Smithers?" Are you sure?
Witness: Yes?
Attorney: Do you remember taking a deposition in this matter?
Witness: I think so.
Attorney: [Approaching with deposition] Is this your deposition? [witness nods] Ok, read along with me here on page one, "My name is Walter Davidson."
Witness: Oh, right. I'm Walter Davidson. Sorry, man.
Attorney: And where do you live?
Witness: Me?
Attorney: Yes, do you live here in Nita?
Witness: I live in a blue house.
Attorney: Do you know the address?
Opposing counsel: Objection! Speculation! He's clearly asking the witness to speculate on something he doesn't know!
Judge: It's speculation to ask for his own address?
Opposing counsel: With this guy, yeah.
Witness: I do live in a blue house...
I couldn't let them go any longer, since my lunch was about to come out of my nose.
Attorney: Could you introduce yourself to the jury?
Witness: [brightly] Hi!
Attorney: Well, could you state your name for the record?
Witness: My name?
Attorney: Yes, so it's on the record.
Witness: Um.... David Smithers.
Attorney: "David Smithers?" Are you sure?
Witness: Yes?
Attorney: Do you remember taking a deposition in this matter?
Witness: I think so.
Attorney: [Approaching with deposition] Is this your deposition? [witness nods] Ok, read along with me here on page one, "My name is Walter Davidson."
Witness: Oh, right. I'm Walter Davidson. Sorry, man.
Attorney: And where do you live?
Witness: Me?
Attorney: Yes, do you live here in Nita?
Witness: I live in a blue house.
Attorney: Do you know the address?
Opposing counsel: Objection! Speculation! He's clearly asking the witness to speculate on something he doesn't know!
Judge: It's speculation to ask for his own address?
Opposing counsel: With this guy, yeah.
Witness: I do live in a blue house...
I couldn't let them go any longer, since my lunch was about to come out of my nose.
Comments:
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What's interesting here is that I was the 641st visitor to your site a couple hours ago. And apparently no one else has visited in the past two hours since I am now the 642nd visitor.
Or maybe everyone else who reads this is in class or studying. Me, I'm at work, so I can screw around looking at blogs or other foolishness.
Life is good! OH, and NPR WAS pretentious in those days! It's not as bad these days. Or maybe I've just become a squish or something.
Or maybe everyone else who reads this is in class or studying. Me, I'm at work, so I can screw around looking at blogs or other foolishness.
Life is good! OH, and NPR WAS pretentious in those days! It's not as bad these days. Or maybe I've just become a squish or something.
# posted by 
: 4:15 PM
: 4:15 PM 
I remember in cross examination saying to a defendant "and you went to the bathroom alone didn't you?" I was trying to make a point that he was hiding something, but the defendant answered "I usually do, don't you." At that point. the entire jury was laughing and I was mortified.
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# posted by : 12:48 AM
: 12:48 AM << Home
