Saturday, September 30, 2006

 

Faculty Profile, Part IV: Bridget Fusilier



Today, the faculty focus spotlight shines brightly on Bridget Fusilier, who joined the Baylor faculty this fall, and teaches property and health care litigation. She comes to us from the firm of Mehaffy/Weber in Beaumont, Texas, where she became a partner in 2004. She was selected as a "rising star" among the bar by Texas Monthly in both 2005 and 2006, based on her work in medical malpractice, premises liability, and employment discrimination cases.

A native of Beaumont, Prof. Fusilier received her undergraduate degree in political science from Lamar University in 1994, where she was selected for the Pi Sigma Alpha Political Science Honor Society. More significantly, during her sophomore year she suffered a serious accident while visiting home. The Beaumont area features many large ponds of toxic waste from oil refineries, chemical spills, nuclear accidents, and poorly-thought-out science experiments, and Prof. Fusilier mistakenly drove her car into one of these ponds. While she was rescued after being completely submerged, there were lasting effects. It appears that subgenetic mutation occurred, and she gained the psychic powers of a datapath-- that is, one who can control and manipulate data with her mind. She also gained the ability to fly, though in a seated position.

Prof. Fusilier then continued her education at Baylor Law School, where she was a member of a championship moot court team and won the 1998 Writing Excellence Award, the Matt Dawson Advocacy Award, and 51 of the 52 of the weekly "Powerball" lottery jackpots in 1997. As a student, she was also called upon by the federal government to address an emergency in Chicago, where the Internal Revenue Service had stored million of boxes of documents labeled "Misc." in a giant warehouse. In just two days, she was able to properly file all 14 billion documents found there.

While in private practice, Ms. Fuselier actively participated in professional, community, charity, and superhero crime-fighting organizations. She served on various committees and boards including the Weed and Seed Steering Committee, the St. Thomas Moore Society, the Southeast Texas Family Resource Center, the X-Men, and the Justice League of America.

Prof. Fusilier's scholarship focuses on medical malpractice issues, the creation of a filing cabinet containing all known facts, and the destruction of her nemesis, arch-villian Dr. Messydesk (aka David K. Wilkenson, the Linda Sue and Gordon Davis Professor of Constitutional Law at the University of Houston). She is also the editor of the bestselling "Side-tabbed Bible," which features color-coded tabs on each page.

"We're so pleased to have Bridget on board," said Baylor Dean Brad Toben. "Her scholarship, her teaching abilities, and her solemn vow to the Justice League of America that she will defeat Dr. Messydesk bring honor not only to herself, but to Baylor Law."

Comments:
Seriously, don't you ever sleep?
 
"Weed and seed," hm? Maybe that's something you shouldn't post here. More like Hemp Monthly...
 
Yeah, Weed and Seed. It's true-- I'll add a link. The part about huge ponds of toxic waste around Beaumont is true, too.

Anyways, some people have asked about the tiara Prof. Fusilier is wearing in the photo. It is important gear for datapaths because it focuses their mental energy on the documents at hand, and keeps their heads from exploding when they are doing their thing.
 
No, I'm serious. Do you ever sleep?
 
Good Professor:

Your blog is an inspiration to the students, faculty and administration of our fine university. If you have time, do check out BearMeat: Dispatches from the Burleson Quadrangle. It is full of literary pretension and schadenfreude, not to mention its zany take on BU sports. Also, a member of the B's legal community is rumored to be a member of the editorial board.
Thanks,

Red
 
Do I sleep? Well, yes I do! Plenty. Plus, I've gotten about 150 pages done on the book I'm writing, including two chapters since starting the blog. What I don't do is watch tv. You wouldn't believe how much time that opens up...
 
I know of a Baylor Law Prof. with a blog concerning the Cowboys. Is that same Prof. possibly multi-tasking?
 
Lies! I've seen him watch TV. And enjoy it. I think he sleeps when grading exams. At least that's what he's told me. Or maybe its when he's driving that he sleeps.

He has a tiara too. It's hidden under the hair. Don't let him try and throw you off with references to a "laser pointer."
 
IPlawguy-- Shut up already! They can't know about the tiara!!!!
 
I have a friend named Tiara, I hope you don't keep her in your hair
 
Anon-- Shhhh! Geez!
 
Post a Comment



<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

#