Osler's Razor

Was the "highest point in Iowa" ceded to Canada, and in that case, is it grounds for invasion? That'll put Baylor on the map for sure. Canada is a big place...
 

No, no, no... this is a different trip. I don't take Prof. Bates with me wherever I go! It was Underwood who did that. And that was only because Bates was kind of his consigliere.
 

See, that's just poor storytelling. You can't talk about Canada and then show us a picture of Iowa. We're lucky anyone in Texas recognizes Iowa as a state instead of simply Not Texas.

Though I'm all for an invasion of Canada. I just don't trust those guys. They're too nice.
 

Stephen--

You don't trust Iowans? Hey, they're pushing "ethanol" for cars all over the place-- it's the same as meth, but for autos. We need to invade, or it is going to get totally out of control... the border between the US and Iowa is completely undefended. Bates and I checked.
 

We've already subjugated Iowa. No reason to invade them.

It's Canada that must be destroyed. Actually, that's because I have an outstanding parking ticket in Quebec which, with interest, is probably $3 million Canadian (or $50 US). IT's bad enough the signs were in French, but French abbreivations?
 

Whatever. Canada is awesome. You'll be sorry for making fun of them when they come charging over the Montana border one day with their trusty steeds and their .38 service revolvers.
 

No way we'll go the Montana route. Victory is guaranteed, we already have them surrounded. We just need an excuse. An Iowa-Canadian alliance is just the spark we need to light the fire of manifest destiny once again. I nominate Team Osler/Bates as the new governors of "Caniowa!"
 

Let me guess, the story about the goggles either start:

So it was just me, Bates and the Dali Lama himself . . .

Or

Have you ever made crop circles? No? Well this one time Bates and I. . .
 

I'm tired of these cheap shots at the Heartland of America, Iowa, the State where I was born, especially by someone who grew up just a mile or so from a dangerous foreign country that once invaded the United States. Iowa values education above all and therefore put a schoolhouse on its commemorative quarter. What did Michigan do? It put an outline of itself on the coin. And Texas? What, a star?

Pretty self indulgent in both cases if you ask me!

To fully appreciate the majesty that is Hawkeye point, check this out:

http://americasroof.com/archives/2005/01/06/hawkeye-point-iowa-summit-panorama/
 

I'm all for overthrowing Canada. When I crossed into Canada this summer, they took my pepper spray. I had to go through a whole paperwork mess that culminated in me surrendering my $5.00 can of pepper spray "to the Queen." Seriously - to the Queen. What kind of crazy country gets its independence and still uses the monarchy of its mother country? (And what kind of country outlaws tiny cans of pepper spray?)
 

Heather--

What's really scary is trying to figure out what The Queen is doing with all of that pepper spray.

Did you know that in Iowa they eat cats and dogs as food? It's true. There's whole restaurants specializing in that sort of thing. Also, Iowans hate America, and now they want the right to marry one another. Sick.
 

The Queen uses the pepper spray in an attempt to spice up incredibly bland Canadian food. Have you ever tried that disgusting french fries and gravy creation they serve up there.

As for Iowans, it's pork chops we crave. Preferably on a stick:

(from http://www.iowapork.org/pork_checkoff/consumer/isf_2004tti.html)

The "Pork Chop-on-a-Stick," introduced in 1999 and served out of the Iowa Chop Shop, remains the "walking" fair favorite with over 68,000 served this year at the fair. "Even with our additional grills and second concession trailer located right across from the livestock pavilion, it was a challenge to keep up with the demand," said Wanken.
 

I take back everything I said about Iowa. The pork-chop-on-a-stick is brilliant. Yum.

They also have some excellent rest areas on I-35.