Friday, January 14, 2011


Haiku Friday with IPLawGuy: KItten Time!

Ed. Note: Because I will be out of town through Sunday, I am letting IPLawGuy handle the Razor while I am gone. I am not responsible for content during that time period. Thank you. Mark Osler.

OMG, how CUTE is this kitten!

In honor of kittens, I think we should haiku about kittens and good kitten names and funny things kittens do, and how we wonder about our kittens once they leave home to live with the Crazy Cat Lady down the block. I may do more than one haiku, because I want to do one about my first kitten, Samantha Spam Hock, but I can't get the syllables to work our right. Here is my first one, though:

I wanted to carry
The kitten the right way, but
Got my mouth full of fur!

Now, you write a kitten haiku! It can be about almost anything except the gruesome way your kitten died, like if it fell off the roof of your car somewhere near Tyson's Corner (which wasn't your fault at ALL) or by getting eaten by that bear your idiot fraternity brother kept in the basement, or something like that.

Kitten was hungry,
Nasty little house tiger,
Killed its dinner.
I know a magic
cat. She does tricks. Talks to me
on the phone. MEOW.
A dog is not a
Kitten, and neither is a
Raccoon, but who cares?
Kittens are so cute.
Until the day they grow up
And become damned cats.
When I pet Kitten
Her legs stretch out, she smiles
And then I hear her purr.
I'm a cat person
Not a raccoon person, but
That one is quite cute
Some kitten advice:
Stretch, circle and snuggle up
With the one you love.
KTN: I can't!
My sweet kitten ran away.
Doesn't call or write.
Anon. 10:36

About that kitten:
Have you looked at the home of
Crazy Cat Lady?
OH and that is a RACCOOON!!!! GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HATE raccoons!!!!!!
Gorgeous Taffy Anne,
long-haired calico. AHH CHOO!
Help! You make me sneeze!
Big hairy rat ate
hole through plastic dog food bin.
Whatever to do?

First, get metal dog
food can with tight lid that rats
cannot penetrate.

Next, put cat food out
for feral cats. Just enough
to entice them home.

Feral cats enjoy rats.
That is how life is lived in
wild South Texas country.
Summer long ago
Dead mole in the yard from Smoke
One every night.
In olde Williamsburg
was buried Smokey the Cat
of Bruton Parish.

I was there and saw
people come from far and near
to pay their respects.

who missed the church office pet.
I am not kidding.
Rev Willard, you will be glad to hear that iplawguy is a good Episcopalian vestryman AND kitten fan!
And I attended Bruton Parish for 3 yrs while in law school

But I had NOTHING to do with these posts.
It's an honor to be in such esteemed company here on the Razor! I served at Bruton Parish Church for over six years, and my wife went to law school at William & Mary. Also, some of y'all from Baylor might know Charles Talbert or Ralph Wood from the Graduate Studies Faculty of the Religion Department. I studied with them at Wake Forest. So, yes, I'm an Episcopal priest who's a Demon Deacon too. Confused yet?

FYI - I answer to a variety of names, but "Neil" works just fine with me. Most importantly, I'm a dog person.
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