Monday, April 12, 2010


2011 Razor Law School Rankings Leaked!

I was going to hold off for a few more days, but why delay the truth? The Razor rankings are based on arbitrary measures determined by one person, me. Here are the factors which I have taken into consideration:

28%: How pretty the school should be, based on the name.
19%: Proximity of the school to New Haven, Connecticut.
12%: Celebrity status of the Dean.
11% Number of wacky adventures by madcap students and profs.
9% Obama-relatedness.
7%: Relative deliciousness if it was a food of some kind.
6% Other schools have confusingly similar names (scores are combined).
5%: Faculty names that sound vaguely familiar.
2%: Bar passage rate.

Herewith, the rankings:

1) Yale (As required by federal law)
2) Harvard (Not far from New Haven, Obama related, wacky prof. adventures)
3) Wake Forest (Sounds really really pretty)
4) University of Virginia (Sounds pretty, nutritious)
5) University of Penn. (Same)
6) Emory (Pretty-sounding, wacky adventures)
7) Pepperdine (Celebrity dean, sounds good to eat)
8) UC-Irvine (Celebrity dean, far from NH, sounds terrible to eat)
9) NYU (close to New Haven, wacky adventures)
10) Univ. of Chicago (wacky adventures, Obama related)
11) Illinois at Champaign-Urbana (first part sounds delicious, second part awful)
12) Washington and Lee (Sounds pretty, few wacky adventures)
13) Dartmouth Univ. William and Delores Tiramisu School of Law (Delicious!)
14) Hastings (Wacky adventures, tasty, sadly distant from NH)
15) UConn (Close to New Haven, pretty)
16) Columbia Univ. (Close to New Haven, too few wacky adventures)
17) Stanford (Far from NH, troubling lack of Obama relatedness)
18) UC-Berkely Boalt Hall (Far from NH, sounds disgusting to eat)
19) Quinnipiac (Pretty much in NH, might taste good if slow-roasted)
20) Washington (confusing name covers Univ. Wash., Wash U. in St. Louis, GWU)

No factoring in the height of the student body???
Any ranking that leaves out Cooley is not legit.
uVa? blehhhh
What Nick said!
Have you checked out the

University of Creme Brule Red Rock Canyon (Fairfield, CT) -

Their faculty observes No Pants Thursday that was first instituted by their dean, MC Hammer.
Dan-- Wow-- close to New Haven... celebrity dean... tasty... sounds beautiful...
btw Pepperdine will no longer have a celebrity dean after this june.
Yeah, you guys at Baylor have Pepperdine's celebrity dean now. I trust it will be reflected in the 2012 rankings. However, Pepperdine still sounds better to eat than Baylor...
Strangely, I find this methodology about as trustworthy as that used by certain "news" corporations (that are in no way are affiliated or employ alumni of the famous and wealthy universities).
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