Friday, July 20, 2007


Happy Happy Fun Fun Haiku!

Last week’s haikus were very impressive, but this week will be even better… look at this impressive list of topics!

1) The test question I can’t forget
2) The Bar Exam
3) Partyin’ with Dick Cheney and Britney
4) IPLawBaby (conveniently, already 5 syllables)
5) 40 days until foot ball season!
F) Golf
7) Beach reading
8) Tang
9) Harry Potter
10) Tyd’s creased brow

Here is my own effort:

The clerk asked me
About the slumber party
No, Harry Potter!

Now it is your turn—

5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables

And the winner this week gets a prize—the ability to choose the winner of next week’s haiku Friday!

"I want foam finger"
cried my Iplawbay
"Have a beer" I said

Stadium sales jobs:
cold beer, hot dogs and peanuts
The worst: foam fingers
OK, that was me. Iplawbaby writes her haikus in the middle of the day, not in the middle of the night. She's also funnier than me.
I loathe Cingular
More Bars in more places, huh?
Someone should be fired!

-Goose (the California Bar Exam's best friend...I hope!)
Friday at Midnight
the Bar exam bows briefly
to Mr. Potter.
Yeah, Potter's Online
I'm still going to buy the book.
Never abandon friends.
Sadness fills our house
Saturday is the day that
Riley leaves this earth.

Kid SOOO attached and
just lost his house but Riley
is in too much pain.

Hard to be a mom
in this situation but
we must let him go.

Bye Riley you weird
huge crazy lovable dog.
We shall miss you lots.

On a worse note, house
rebuild not good. Insurance
might not cover it.

Had the best policy,
not enough. I don't get it.
Too sad to be mad.

Let's recap: No more
dog. Maybe not same house. Thanks,
tortfeasors. You Suck.

Still, all is not lost:
Family, job good. New dog?
Named "Winnie the Pooh."

Love my Toyota,
family, job. Can't stay mad.
Then tortfeasors win.

We have GREAT lawyer.
Not worried. Phone Co will lose
Faster. Higher. Farther.

football, oh football.
the beautiful game to me
40 days too long
See God's Holy Face?
Surely, Red, it can't be so!
BearMeat Music Vid.
Beach Reading

The Dogs of Babel-
my beach reading last July
this July no beach


Razor Babies

Miles said to Mamie,
"I can whack a two iron,"
over sippy cups.
I hope we meet one fine day
Chambers baby, Miles
Golf-watch out Tiger
already honing my skills
cannot wait to walk!
Took the bar exam
While at Scruffy Murphy's bar.
I failed Jack Daniels.
Can't wait for football
Gig 'em Aggies, Sic 'em Bears
Down with the longhorns! :-)
Haiku from Spencer:

I will get new dog.
I shall name him Winnie the
Pooh. I picked the name.

Miles, Iplawbaby
Hope to meet you too! I'll let
you ride my new dog.

Parents want smaller
dog. I used to big dog. Would
crush small dog first day.

Must go now, Late for
preschool. Today we counting
fruit, practice letters.
Spence I have great danes
Tell Mom you need a great dane
They are fun to ride!
Looking at one dog:
Golden lab named "Doobie." Might
have to keep that name.....

Rescued from stoners?
At least he'd be mellow. "No,
Man, YOU fetch the ball."
Do you hear that sheep?
That's the sound of Aggie cleats.
Better watch your backs.
Goodbye to the days
of food that's pureed. Don't help
i'll do it myself

Food's a projectile
kerploey, kerplat, splat, splat.
Food fight anyone?
Topic - Potter
Assumption - You know who kills Harry while he's a resident of Texas

Featherston laments
If Harry had made a will
then no moieties

TPC s 38(a)(4)

After a while you will learn to put down drop cloths for each meal. Most nights your kitchen will look like a crime scene. You can clean it up as best as you can each day but you are busy chasing the kid You 'll be lucky just to get the dishes in the sink.

After a while there will be a layer of goo all over you kitchen and house. Everyone will know you have a kid because everything you own is sticky. Having a dog or cat helps because they help clean the baby and the floor off after meals.

One day you will get sick of it and vow to try and clean up ALLLL of the fossilized goo off your walls, ceiling and furniture. Trust me - don't bother. Its easier to just move. Its okay though, you will get used to that dried orange jello on the ceiling.

Parenthood. Its not for the meek.
Goo, crud on the floor,
Ceiling and more? Solution?
Call Canby Phone Co.!
Canby Telecom.
We'll clean your kitchen Faster.
Higher. Farther. BOOOOM!!!!!
This comment has been removed by the author.
President Cheney!
What hath led to this horror?
Sources: Barista Not Actually Flirting With You

July 20, 2007 | Issue 43•29
Include: Image Blurb
The Onion
Sources: Barista Not Actually Flirting With You

Copy and paste this code into a new post in Blogger, MySpace, or any other blog tool. It will display this Onion headline, picture, and teaser copy on your page, depending on what you select above.

It's up to you to write the rest of the blog post.

Text This Headline

Cell Phone Number:

From Email:

Powered by TeleFlip use to email to any cell phone

* E-mail
* Print
* blog this
* text this

Sponsored by
Related Articles

* T.A. Spotted T.A. Spotted At Bar September 15, 1999
* Naughty Baker's Diminished Sex Drive Starting To Affect His Work thumb Naughty Baker's Diminished Sex Drive Starting To Affect His Work August 18, 2004
* Seniors New Generation Of Dynamic, Can-Do Seniors Taking On Second Jobs February 23, 2005

SAN FRANCISCO—Though she greets you every morning with a smile, sometimes chats with you, and makes sure the chocolate syrup is evenly distributed throughout your mocha, Starbucks barista Molly Sopel is in truth not flirting with you, and is instead simply a pleasant person and conscientious employee, coffeeshop sources reported Monday.

"The best part about Molly is that she laughs and talks with everyone," said manager Mike Dezort, who confirmed that Sopel asks if you want room for milk as a courtesy, and not because of the physical attraction you think exists between the two of you. "I always overhear her calling customers sweetie, which people seem to like."

A Starbucks regular who frequently watches you order from Sopel is reportedly "shocked" that you still haven't realized that she only calls you by your first name when you pay with your debit card.
Thanks so much Barbri
For not teaching Tex. leases
Not freaked out at all!

Miles, Spence and Donut
Hi from Iplawbaby!
My future prom dates?
Tyd deserves creased brow
After all that stuff. Goo and
Dog woes, enough for

Strongest, never mind
Tortfeasors. Sounds like a goth
Band, or schlock movie.

"The Return of the
Tortfeasors: The Final Blow."
Cheney'd be the star.
Tyd, I"m so sorry for your loss. We send love. Doobie sounds like a keeper. Maybe he rolls his own. Thanks for staying up to watch. We had a great time, front row seats in front of Paul. CL now trying to book rental car so we can skip train ride from Atlantic City. Atlantic City fun, but kinda cheesy. But in a good way. Maybe Hank can be Spence's wingman.No Haiku's, too mucha drink! XO
Spencer, Hank, Miles, Donut:
Let Mamie go with all. She
can handle those clowns.

It is going to be a tough morning but we cannot let that poor animal live one more day... He is in a lot of pain. We are telling Spencer that he is going to go live somewhere else where he will be happier and it will be easier for him. He is too sick to stay at our house. We have been telling him for a week to get ready to say goodbye to Riley but that it will be okay.

Of course... that is not the entire truth, but Spencer is three very attached to the dog and also has had a lot going on lately. SO... we fibbed a little, as Bob (What About Bob) would say...

The last time we lost a dog was like 8 years ago when our sweet beloved goofy black lab Banjo was killed by a car. Bill did not get out of bed for four days and we lasted a total of 8 days without a new dog. That's when we got Riley.

We are sad but we see what he is going thru and its just time. he shakes he cannot get up the stairs very well... I mean had the house not blown up, Riley would still be old, fat arthritic, with tumors and a total speed bump, but he would have one job really... lay on the front lawn while all the kids played. That is what he did He had to go up ONE step a day. He slept downstairs most nights on the big old futon, which he loved.

After the house blew, he had to do the stairs at the hotel for a month and then he tries all the time to go upstairs here at the rental house because it is where we sleep, and he wants to be with us... But he shakes with pain and its just too hard to let him go on.

Bill is like wait on a another dog but I do not see it... I know Spencer wants a new on, I do for his sake too, and Bill will probably soon. I realllly think Doobie is a good choice and for SURE we are doing a rescue dog. We always do.. Lots of perfectly good young dogs that are all "broken in" and thru the puppy nightmare stage need homes.

We need a kid friendly, trained, younger, not too hairy, not too hyper and not too small dog. There are tons of rescues around here.

We just will not tell the dog before he comes to live here that his name will be "Winnie the Pooh" or he may back out of the deal...

On a good note, Spencer had his three year check up yesterday and he is in great health and progressing nicely. He is tall for his age, very articulate and smart but he just has a little trouble trying to wrote or color... but he never gives up.

ALso we went out to dinner last night because the traffic was horrible and we wanted to wait it out and guess what?? He told Bill TWICE that he had to go, and then he WENT in the BATHROOM both times!!! This was HUGE!!!! OF course then he announced very very loudly in Applebee's: " I PEEED IN THE TOILET!!!!! YAY!! I PEED!!!!!! I DID IT I PEEEED IN THE TOILET!!!!!!"

Not TOO embarrassing.
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?