Friday, July 27, 2007


Haiku Day-- Friday! Friday! Ooooohhhh... Friday!

Canby Telecom.
We'll clean your kitchen Faster.
Higher. Farther. BOOOOM!!!!!

That was last week's winner, from Tydwbleach. It's hard to wrap up all the complexities of a house explosion in three lines, but there you go... excellent job. Now you get to pick this week's winner.

And now, the topics for the contest:

1) Spider-pig!
2) The bar exam
3) Summer
4) Harry Potter
5) What I plan to do this weekend
6) Food
7) Socks
8) Electricity

Or, just pick your own. Here's my haiku:

Spider-pig! Splendid!
See him walk on the ceiling!
I love you, Homer.

Now, you go-- (5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables)

Read the Potter books
Don't recall Occlumency
What's that anyway?

This Saturday night
Rock show, I'm ready to go
Jack and Meg, they rock!
Thursday, twenty sixth
Osler Must be Out of Town
Its not Friday yet.
Harry Potter, for
all: nerds, jocks, and even a
bar exam proctor.

And for IPLaw Guy,

Occlumency's like
Discovery...reveal no
privileged info.
White Stripes: Cool! Jack is
talented! From Detroit of
Course. Like Bob Seger.
Bob Seger, who said:
"You remember Uncle Joe,
Forgot to cut cake."
Detroit Bands, they rock!
Detroit Cobras, MC5
Kick out the Jams, Yah!
The actual line was "You remember uncle joe/he was afraid to cut the cake." Or something like that. I think Bob Seger couldn't find much to rhyme with the song title ("Fire lake")
I hear my sock cry;
It lost its mate forever
And sits alone, still.
Old Time Rock and Roll,
a trite wedding song, unlike
The Fire Down Below
My weekend plans . . .

Morning breaks as two
arrive for delivery.
Colin will make three.
Weekend plans? Beer, beer,
And more beer!! One syllable,
So much enjoyment!

I'm afraid Osler's mailing
It in on subjects.

The Detroit Cobras...
Haven't heard that name in far
Too long...very rock!!

Adults in costume??
Fake wizards and fake words like
Muggle? Harry's back!!

Jack and Meg have left...
Moved to Nashville to escape
Detroit...a good choice??
Jack Moved to Nashville
To be near his Work Wife Miss
Loretta Lynn. Yep.

Bob Seger on tour.
Been House Husband For last ten
years. Soccer Mom Bob.

Forgot other ones:
What I like about you, by
The Romantics. Yep.

Jeffrey Feiger's bro
was in The Knack. My my my
my my Sharona.
Summer decadence:
Old friends, home-cooked Tuscan meals,
Wine flowing, the deck

Overflows with warmth;
Porch potatoes for three days,
Great summer idyll.
Summer at the pool,
The Sun in Castile burns hot,
But cool water helps.
Long cold Bar winter
Bear out of hibernation
Must catch me some meat!
No HP Fever
No! Don't want to know the end!
Hiding in a cave

A cave? or Phoenix?
Same difference; far away
No human contact

Love my mother, but--
Stuck in apartment all day
Get me out of here!
Everyone's on a
vacation except for me.
I'm with Slobber Dawg.

Boogie, How do you
make such copious amounts
of slobber? STOP IT!!!!

Drool, drink from toilet.

I miss Riley the
Speed Bump Dawg. He was lazy
but not slobbery.

Boogie loves people.
IN YOUR FACE type of dog. HEY!!!!!

Not the dog I picked....
I was vetoed. Kid, Bill LOVE
the Boogie Man Dawg.

I always yell at him.
Disco Sliming dog.

Spencer loves the dog.
Bill loves the dog. I must go
buy an umbrella.
Why would a person
be afraid to cut a cake?
I don't get it, Bob.
Hey, Mister Kimbrough--
You got some pretty good briefs
Hope it all works out!
An ode to a recent client:

Mister Officer,
let's make out in th' restroom!
D'oh, plead me guilty.
Spiderman v. pig
Does whatever a spider . . .
no rhyme for word "pig"
Ouch, ouch, ouch, my mouth.
Alas, make this pain begone
Cold, sweet popsicle.

Is "begone" one word or two????
OK Since you mentioned spiders:

Spencer like his mother often sings songs where he has the words completely WRONG and does not care. This makes Daddy crazy but anyway today was the best. He was trying to sing the "Itsy Bitsy Spider went down the water spout."

Here is what he sang instead:

"The Itchy Bitchy Spiderman went down the Chimney Sprout."
Ok Tyd, that was my laugh for the day!! I'll never sing Itsy Bitsy the same. Thanks!

Here goes:

Vacation over,
Back to work, punching the clock.
Letterman intern?

Planes, trains, boats, taxis
Atlantic City haircut
Mr. CL broke!!

IPLawGuy gets
meet and greet with FBI-
holds my purse and phone!

Want to see slideshow?
Would not torture friends so.
Come to Razor Bash!
IPLawguy met the FBI while holding a purse? Aren't they kind of used to that? I mean, with Hoover and everything...
The Boogie Man Dawg
ESCAPED tonight, but came back.
Pain in the ass dog.

Let's talk about the
dog I wanted: Meesha. Shy,
Quiet, Mellow, CALM.

She was a Mastiff.
Would have grown into a horse.
But a quiet one.

Instead we have sweet
wet slimy drooly nutty
escape artist dawg.
Pie Pie Pie Pie Pie
Mmmmm, Yes! Pie Pie Pie Pie Pie
Nemesis wee bull
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