Friday, July 13, 2007


Friday, Haiku Friday!

It's Finals-Time Haiku Friday! For those of us in Waco, it's an exhilarating time of scribbling, thinking, and cursing, while the rest of the nation takes it easy! Still, there is always time for Haiku...

Themes for this week:

A) Rory Ryan, ConLaw Temp of Excellence
2) The worst final question ever
3) My dream about Larry Bates
D) My date with Donut
E) What I do all day
F) Hey! That's my cat!
7) The class I wish they offered at Baylor Law School
8) Pres. George W. Bush (Rep.)
J) The Nuge
10) My other car is a...

Here's mine:

Back at my law school,
There was a class called "Blood Feuds,"
Icelandic sagas!

Enter your own haiku in the comments section below-- 5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables...

Bates on the ice rink,
Bush and Donut skin my cat,
My Pacer rolls on.
ConLaw Prof Ryan
Also former football god
Secret bionics
Tantric finals
Can make them last forever!
Like Sting at law school
Meow! Aurora?
Gone for a month, gave up hope,
That's my missing cat!
Our amazing girl
nine months tomorrow. Slow down!
We love you so much.
don't bring sippy cups
when you've a date with Donut
pint glass dunks better
Irrational fear
Friday 13th folklore tale
Maybe I shouldn’t drive
Friday the Thirteenth--
Thing to avoid is testing.
That, and Aurora.
A question of tort
Ted Nugent takes aim and fires
my cat is no more
Rory Ryan is
a closet Dawson's Creek fan.
Nuge is not impressed.
"what I do all day"
post was was enlightening. It
turns out I'm a bore.

From now on I think
I will make stuff up. Just like
Baylor history.

Iplaw: nine months? Look
out! She will be walking soon.
Mamie on the loose!!!!!
9, 6, 3 years old,
No more diapers in my house,
Like getting a raise!
Sangria afternoon
Ceiling fan nighttime breezes
I saw you and 'Nut
Terrorizing my poor cat!
Don't try to deny

I called the police
They were busy hunting Bates
So you got away

I'm sure I'll find you
I know your daily schedule
But exam comes first
Not me and Donut!
That was just Mike Rogers, yeah...
And one CL kid.
I want sippy cup,
Anna Nicole Smith and me,
Bates and 'Nut, Fiat.
I cannot drive yet
Other car is a stroller
One day I’ll drive Mom!

Miles (piney woods clerk's kiddo)
Yes, there is one class
I truly wish Baylor had:
Space Law, that would rock.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tough finals question.
Always struggle. Rule Against
What I do all day:
Count syllables for haikus
Fret about phrasing
My celeb sighting:
What does the 'Nuge do all day?
He drives a monster truck...

Saw 'Nuge at Starbucks
Today, around 2 p.m.
He ordered, paid, and left.
Packing for New York
Osler mocks seven pair shoes
Suitcase too full, busts.
Seven pairs of shoes?!?
Do you have some boots with spurs
And pink espadrilles?
Finally, finals
All work, no play, equals A?
Prob'ly not, but pass?
No, I have pink boots
and cute espadrilles with spurs
Call me Imelda ;)

I'm kidding, I just seriously overpack. I did get the suitcase closed by sitting on it. I'm trying to channel Bates, one T-shirt and a toothbrush. He has, reportedly, mastered the Zen of packing light. I, however, have not.
For years, Bates traveled with nothing but a spare loincloth and some ointment. Oh, right, in haiku form--

Bates on a plane
Loincloth, ointment, contracts book
No checked luggage.
OK, that kind of grossed me out. Ointment? Does the loincloth not fit quite right?
I am Scott in BEST IN SHOW
the character who is the life partner of the guy who was in spinal tap.....who packs 6 kimonos for a two day trip to Philadelphia.

I am a girl version of a cross between Scott and Cookie Fleck's husband, the guy played by Eugene Levy who has two left feet.

At least on a trip I am....
On a scarier note, Did I ever mention that Canby Telecom's motto is

"Faster. Higher. Farther."

As in, that is how the chunks of charred guitar parts fly when they blow up your house.....

Seriously that is their motto

blueberry donuts
never get bought at finals
makes me very sad
Surf the internet
Defend white collar bad guys
Yeah, that was my day.
My day, sift and count
try to identify chunks,
bits of former life

Smell of the outhouse
real and metaphorical
during the process

Try to guess which things
we will never recover
fighting to be wrong

Parenting, working
planning and organizing
Cleaning cyclone path

Hurricane Spencer
followed by Mudslide Riley,
Tropical storm Liz
Tropical Storm Liz--
Better than Liz, Tropical
Depression, Class Five.
bates the foosball god
lair bear, bring on the big hurt.
oww! my goalie broke!
Mayhem and mischief
Prime dating activities
How 'bout it Donut?
Watch out for that guy, Donut.
He drives a hot trike.
Tired, weary day ends
SNL's Sloths short brings smile,
laughter to my world

Rockin' rowdy sloths
Faux teen documentary
just hilarious
What I do all day Version two By Tydwbleach

4:30 AM Wake to the sounds of whale mating calls Swim up from sleep and drink 1 quart of Listerene. Sketch for an hour. Today I worked on the resortwear collection from my new fall line. Fashion week in Milan is in August and I am NOT ready. Today I did a new pants suit made of burlap, and paired it with a motorcycle jacket and a chainmail vest. Fabulous. Burlap is the new Linen. Top THAT, Michael Kors.

5:30 AM Two hours of Pilates & yoga followed by ginger ale bath.

8:00 AM Breaksfast: Psyllium bars, 1 glass Pinot Gris and raw mushrooms. Yes I am doing that cleansing thing again.

8:30 AM Needlepoint and call around about where to go for lunch.

10:00 AM Meet with agent about the book/movie deal. They are turning my book, “The Adolescence of Rhesus Monkeys” into a film starring Anne Heche. It’s a fictional autobiography all about my childhood in Nova Scotia. Madonna is interested in directing.

11:00 AM Psychotherapy Talked about my Tote Bag fetish. Again.

12:00 noon: Lunch with my publicist, Rachel Anne, at “The Mung Bean.” We discuss marketing my new perfume “Feral Cat” on QVC.

2:00 PM Psychotherapy. Discussed my dream about when I grew a tail and how none of my clothes fit me anymore. Then I cried.

3:00 PM Fight with my assistant Troy… He forgot to TIVO Days of Our Lives for me. Again.

3:30 PM Clog Dancing workout with Jorge.

4:00 PM Meeting at the Lab with David. He is really making progress on the skin care line, which is completely organic, edible and made only of genetically engineered spinach. Today we tested an exfoliating scrub on a family of raccoons. Their pores were cleansed, but their noses turned green. Back to the drawing board.

5:00 PM Dinner: herb infused tofurkey burgers, 4 M&Ms and half a bottle of Chivas.

6:00 PM Watch “King of Queens” reruns on mute, listen to John Denver and play poker online.

7:00 PM sign up mean and nasty neighbor lady for a year of MEAT PROCESSING magazine. Make prank phone calls. Drunk dial Walgreen’s repeatedly and ask if they sell live rabbits.

8:00 PM Craft time: Make jewelry and decorative nightlights out of sea shells.

9:00 PM pre sleep facial, Kiss the ferrets goodnight and go to bed.
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