Saturday, July 14, 2007


Confirming my confidence in Public Defenders

This New York Times article, which I noticed over on Doug Berman's blog, confirms something I have thought for a while: Public defenders do an excellent job, and a system which relies primarily on defenders rather than hired lawyers is often both cheaper for the government to fund and more effective for clients. In part, within the federal system, this is pretty understandable; the defenders focus their efforts entirely on federal law, and know the guidelines better than panel attorneys, for whom often the majority of their work is in state courts. In my experience, as a prosecutor and defense attorney within the federal system, knowledge of the guidelines is probably the most important asset an attorney can bring to bear in a case (in combination with negotiating skills and doggedness).

[Right now, the brief I am writing for the Supreme Court in the Kimbrough case is on behalf of the Federal Public and Community Defenders and the National Association of Federal Defenders, but I can't say that is swaying my opinion here-- they aren't paying me, after all; rather, they are right on the issue I care about and very skilled at advocacy.]

Do the defenders act like flying squirrels? If so, that's pretty impressive. Especially in court...
What I do all day Version two By Tydwbleach

4:30 AM Wake to the sounds of whale mating calls Swim up from sleep and drink 1 quart of Listerene. Sketch for an hour. Today I worked on the resortwear collection from my new fall line. Fashion week in Milan is in August and I am NOT ready. Today I did a new pants suit made of burlap, and paired it with a motorcycle jacket and a chainmail vest. Fabulous. Burlap is the new Linen. Top THAT, Michael Kors.

5:30 AM Two hours of Pilates & yoga followed by ginger ale bath.

8:00 AM Breaksfast: Psyllium bars, 1 glass Pinot Gris and raw mushrooms. Yes I am doing that cleansing thing again.

8:30 AM Needlepoint and call around about where to go for lunch.

10:00 AM Meet with agent about the book/movie deal. They are turning my book, “The Adolescence of Rhesus Monkeys” into a film starring Anne Heche. It’s a fictional autobiography all about my childhood in Nova Scotia. Madonna is interested in directing.

11:00 AM Psychotherapy Talked about my Tote Bag fetish. Again.

12:00 noon: Lunch with my publicist, Rachel Anne, at “The Mung Bean.” We discuss marketing my new perfume “Feral Cat” on QVC.

2:00 PM Psychotherapy. Discussed my dream about when I grew a tail and how none of my clothes fit me anymore. Then I cried.

3:00 PM Fight with my assistant Troy… He forgot to TIVO Days of Our Lives for me. Again.

3:30 PM Clog Dancing workout with Jorge.

4:00 PM Meeting at the Lab with David. He is really making progress on the skin care line, which is completely organic, edible and made only of genetically engineered spinach. Today we tested an exfoliating scrub on a family of raccoons. Their pores were cleansed, but their noses turned green. Back to the drawing board.

5:00 PM Dinner: herb infused tofurkey burgers, 4 M&Ms and half a bottle of Chivas.

6:00 PM Watch “King of Queens” reruns on mute, listen to John Denver and play poker online.

7:00 PM sign up mean and nasty neighbor lady for a year of MEAT PROCESSING magazine. Make prank phone calls. Drunk dial Walgreen’s repeatedly and ask if they sell live rabbits.

8:00 PM Craft time: Make jewelry and decorative nightlights out of sea shells.

9:00 PM pre sleep facial, Kiss the ferrets goodnight and go to bed.
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You really mean it? Gee, thanks Mister. It sure means a lot to us.
See? This is what I love about this blog. I can post the stupidest fake schedule and

A it is not the weirdest thing on here


B no one even blinks.

Either that or you are all sick of me. Was it my creepy eyes that follow you picture? You know some of that schedule was real. I really do prank Walgreens and Clog dance.
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