Wednesday, November 22, 2023
The Right Amount of Turkey
Yesterday, the Washington Post posed an important question: "How Much Turkey Per Person?" Let's ignore their clearly wrong answer (1 1/2 pounds).
The correct answer is five pounds per person, to account for the following:
-- Leftovers for Friday
-- Leftovers for Saturday
-- Inedible bones
-- The fact that some people LOOK skinny, but eat a lot
-- Turkey is excellent and delicious.
So, here is a handy calculator to help you pick the right turkey:
Number of People Pounds of Turkey
3 15
4 20
5 25
6 30
10 50 lbs.
You may be wondering, "Mark, where can I get a 50 lb. turkey?" I'm pretty sure you can get one at the grocery store, or you might try pressing two or three turkeys together into one mega-turkey.
One last nugget of advice. You might be looking for a new and interesting way to prepare your turkey this year. Perhaps you should consider the simple recipe IPLawGuy has used the last few years:
1) Buy a turkey using the formula above
2) UNWRAP THE TURKEY FROM THE PLASTIC (and avoid that 2021 debacle)
3) Brine the turkey in Riesling, spices, Molson Golden, and a pinch of lime
4) Dump the brine over the engine in your car
5) Place the turkey on the brined portion of the car's engine block, securing with duct tape
6) Race up and down Interstate 66, being sure to keep your speed above 75. Drive 20 minutes for each 8 pounds of turkey.
7) Remove, serve, and enjoy!
Comments:
<< Home
If you plan on "racing" on I-66, you need to head about 25 miles west from DC, past Gainesville, before you can really open it up. And I suspect that on days like today, you might have to get well past Haymarket.
So, a car expert told me you can do this at lower speeds-- just keep the car in a very low geat, and the engine will heat right up.
Post a Comment
<< Home
