Osler's Razor

When I was a prosecutor, another guy had a case that included a defendant whose nickname was "The Count." At trial, an attorney asked him about that:

Q: Why did they call you "The Count?"
A: You know, 'cause of that dude on Sesame Street.
Q: Do you look like him?
A: Hell no. But I used to do this thing where I would talk like him.
Q: Like what?
A: You know... "A vun, two, three bags of crack! Bwa ha ha!

Maybe you have a nickname. Or you gave one to another person. Or wondered about someone else's. At any rate it's a good week to haiku about nicknames.

Here, I will go first:

Our goalie was "Woof."
He wanted to be called
"Wolf." Didn't quite get that.

Now it is your turn! Just use the 5/7/5 syllable formula and have some fun!