Friday, December 04, 2015

 

Haiku Friday: Backstory on Mrs. Claus


There are some characters we just don't know much about. The Easter Bunny, for example-- how did that happen? How does he get around? Who assigned him this task? Etc. Etc.

Mrs. Claus (pictured here with her husband, Nick, and one of their adult children) is one of those characters. Here are some of the questions I have had about her:

-- Where did she go to college?
-- How did she meet Nick?
-- How did Nick talk her into moving to the North Pole?
-- Does she like wearing matching outfits?
-- Does she prefer Starbucks or Caribou?
-- What do Mr. and Mrs. Claus do for date night?
-- Did she give birth in a hospital?
-- What kind of car does she have?
-- Does she make any of the presents?
-- Who does her hair?
-- Are the "elves" really more accurately called "slaves?"

Anyways, there is a lot to cover here! I will go first:

We don't want to see
All she does for Santa; She's
His North Pole dancer.

Now it is your turn! Five syllables for the first line, seven for the second, and five at the end...


# posted by Mark Osler @ 12:00 AM
Comments:
I remember her
She always gave out the worst
Halloween candy.
# posted by Anonymous DDR : 8:46 AM
 
Classic bait and switch
He was svelte, groomed in college
I said yes, now stuck.
# posted by Anonymous Rob Vischer : 9:30 AM
 
So sick of Christmas…
The music, the candy, the elves!
Global warming, please!
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 9:53 AM
 
After Osler's verse,
I can never go back to
The North Pole again.
# posted by Blogger The Medievalist : 10:43 AM
 
He was her last chance.
Who else would date her? Outlandish
hats.and obsession

With the color red?
But he too liked to travel
Both had sumptuous

Bellies. She loathed cold,
Reindeer poop. Cantankerous
Elves. But when eccentric
Is your watchword,who

Else will companion
You through the maelstrom of life?
Only Claus. Dear,sweet Claus.


# posted by Anonymous Renée : 10:43 AM
 
Medievalist:

It's not really bad
She looks good without the coat
Santa: Ho ho ho!
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 11:33 AM
 
Mrs. Claus, oh yeah--
She's the original Vixen
Makes Santa's nose red.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 1:23 PM
 
Red dress, fur collar
she runs the show; elves, reindeer
they answer to her
# posted by Blogger Christine : 4:46 PM
 
Innocent looking
Mrs. Claus sips her cocoa
laced with schnapps.
# posted by Blogger Christine : 4:51 PM
 
Her wicked good nails
Are honed, sharp, and crimson
The fierce claws of Claus.
# posted by Anonymous IPLawnGuy : 6:12 PM
 
Degrees from Oxford
Aeronautics, Zoology
Reindeer Whisperer

Stanford PhD
Thesis: Yuletide Forestry
Spent year as The Tree
# posted by Blogger Sleepy Walleye : 1:24 PM
 
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