Friday, November 06, 2015

 

Haiku Friday: Other job possibilities...




Yesterday, I got a helpful email from LinkedIn, suggesting "Top Job Picks for You!", despite the fact that I'm pretty happy with the job I've got.  Here is their list of top job picks for me:


Discover Strength
Personal Trainer/Strength Coach
Discover Strength
Greater Minneapolis-St. Paul Area
13 days ago
Minneapolis Public Schools
Superintendent of Schools
Minneapolis Public Schools
Greater Minneapolis-St. Paul Area
22 days ago
University of Minnesota
Assistant or Associate Professor of Sport Management
University of Minnesota
Greater Minneapolis-St. Paul Area
27 days ago
Xcel Energy
Service Policy Manager
Xcel Energy
Greater Minneapolis-St. Paul Area
1 day ago
Faculty / Senior Fellow / James J. Renier Chair in the Management of Security Technologies
Technological Leadership Institute - University of Minnesota
Greater Minneapolis-St. Paul Area
24 days ago
Public Relations Management Supervisor
broadhead.
Greater Minneapolis-St. Paul Area
1 day ago

Clinical Utilization Management Specialist
Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Minnesota
Greater Minneapolis-St. Paul Area
20 days ago


Of course, I would be terrible at each and every one of these jobs. Also, how do "Superintendent of schools," utility company customer service and "personal trainer" end up on the same list? 

Anyways, let's haiku about alternative-reality employment, whether good or bad. Here, I will go first:

Bad scenario:
"Superintendent Osler"
Test scores plummet.

Now it is your turn! Just make it 5 syllable/7 syllables/5 syllables, and have some fun!

Comments:
I was once, back then
A hapless food service guy
Remember'd fondly.
 
How 'bout Emporer?
But I'd settle for Monarch
or Grand Potentate
 
My HS ap test
said perfect forest ranger;
wistful thoughts ever since.
 
Hey IPLawGuy--
Your job: Pompatus of love.
Or a Space Cowboy.
 
In response to A Waco Farmer....

My high school ap test
said Funeral Director
Instead, I count beans (or did)

 
Town drunk? Cheese monger?
I never knew my future
Until now: Teacher.
 
Screeeech, craaaaaassshhhh, SLAM!
That's me backing up a big rig.
Think I'll stick with school.
 
Selling anything,
Naked and hungry are we.
Selling fiasco.
 
At four- thirty in
The morning in a hairnet
I caught hot breadsticks

As they plummeted
Down a conveyor belt and
Put them in a box.

It was painful and
It was early. It was Gai's Bakery
It was Seattle. I was 22.
 
A face full of paint
Blindened by kleig,dependent
On memory. Act!


(I think I goofed on fulfilling the assignment on the last one!)
 
(I'm late to the party but feel compelled)

With certainty, I
Know I was not born to clean
House. Mine or others'.

 
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