Osler's Razor

I want people to listen,just listen. And act as though they've heard me.They don't have to comment with breathtakingly brilliant insight. I like it when they move to touch me,hug me. And then when they call a couple of days later to say they were thinking of me and wondered how I was doing.Staying in touch is key. I want them to pray for me,even if they don't say that they're going to pray. I don't ask for much,do I? I like it that you asked me. Your life force is very strong,and so I think that it means something that these people decided to divulge those tough times to you...even if it made you feel uncomfortable. Just telling someone else is comforting.And that you were there in your liveliness,gave them a bit of juice until their own returns.
 

I think Renee has offered good advice.

I would like to add it is really good to casually ask them how they are doing (not referencing the situation - but in general) a few weeks later. It shows the person that you are thinking about them. It tells the person they have remained somewhere in your thoughts. Also, for the most part the person has come to you not to help fix the problem but to unburden themselves and perhaps receive some thoughtful advise.

I don't keep that persons problem or whatever in the front of my head as I have my own issues, but I keep it stored in there so I do remember to ask later on.

I have been in the position of being the listener, shoulder to cry on, ear, whatever and found this effective.
 

Thank You Renee and Christine – so refreshing to enjoy and celebrate the ‘wisdom of women.’

Are we not all lost until we are found? There has never been a “happy situation” enjoyed alone – Even our most precious ‘solitary’ moments are shared in the presence of ‘Spirit’.

Renee and Christine are correct; to affirm another through acknowledging their presence is often that most important asked of us – beyond that, each must begin to relinquish a portion of self. Hearts must open to welcome, listen and comfort. Often encountering ramparts erected to protect that unintentionally smother – stepping out of comfort zones, often in ways not anticipated, to respond selflessly in ways Renee and Christine have expressed.

Our expressions of caring and empathy exact much more than realized or often intended. Words and actions from the heart are not tied to outcome or healings arc. However, they do bind us to another – in thought, prayer and. . . ‘response’ the Spirit within continually reveals and suggests.
 

I love that,Christine: "Are we not all lost until we are found."
 

I agree with all . . . what I have to remember all the time, as a high-school counselor, is to talk less and listen more. I attended a workshop a year ago where the theme was (really) "Just shut up and listen." You listen and try to pick out what's really bothering the person . . . maybe interject once in awhile, "So you're feeling (xxx) . . . " if you're not sure exactly what the person's trying to express.

You can even say "Wow, that's hard," or (they even said we counselors could say this): "That really sucks, doesn't it?" Don't try to say things will be better if they won't.

Just listen, and say you'll be thinking about the person, praying for her; and I agree, it's wonderful if there is the chance to follow up later.

 

I agree with all . . . what I have to remember all the time, as a high-school counselor, is to talk less and listen more. I attended a workshop a year ago where the theme was (really) "Just shut up and listen." You listen and try to pick out what's really bothering the person . . . maybe interject once in awhile, "So you're feeling (xxx) . . . " if you're not sure exactly what the person's trying to express.

You can even say "Wow, that's hard," or (they even said we counselors could say this): "That really sucks, doesn't it?" Don't try to say things will be better if they won't.

Just listen, and say you'll be thinking about the person, praying for her; and I agree, it's wonderful if there is the chance to follow up later.

 

"Lost," in what way? In looking at this again, "lost" seems to be the biggest point . . . I'm intrigued because I have a friend who uses that word specifically to describe people who have not been "saved" in the Christian sense, and who don't want to be.