Friday, January 18, 2013
It's time for the 3rd Razor Bad High School Poetry Contest!!!!
Are you ready for some POETRY?
And not just any old poetry-- this time we are shooting for ultra-dark, super-depressing poetry of the style you find in high school literary magazines. We've done this twice before: Once in 2006, and again in 2008. The entire project was begun after I came across this real-life bit of teen poetry:
"There's no need to cry
The clouds do it for me
Expressing my depression better
Than I ever could."
So, let's get to it! Your poem doesn't necessarily have to be dark; just a faux (or real) reflection of high school.
And the prize? The winner will get their poem fawned over right here on the Razor!
Comments:
If only I knew what he thought...
Does he love me, love me not???
I will never know...
Contorted heart, beats erratically
thump, thumpity, thumpity, ouch....
Who am I kidding...
Does he even know I exist?
Doubtful, just in my dreams
I pull off more petals
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Oh my outcast state of isolation,
My problems uniquely my own,
Alone and crying out,
Against the whole world,
Misunderstood and violent,
I eat raw liver with faba beans,
Without gagging too much.
My problems uniquely my own,
Alone and crying out,
Against the whole world,
Misunderstood and violent,
I eat raw liver with faba beans,
Without gagging too much.
Why does prom
Come just once a year?
I did that thing
All wrong,
I shouldn't have had
That beer.
There's photos on
The internet,
Me and Jess and Dee
My dress slips, oops!
Way too much to see.
Come just once a year?
I did that thing
All wrong,
I shouldn't have had
That beer.
There's photos on
The internet,
Me and Jess and Dee
My dress slips, oops!
Way too much to see.
# posted by 
: 8:46 AM
: 8:46 AM
Mom, please leave me alone.
No wait, don't leave me.
I'm so freaking hungry all the time.
Hungry for McDonalds, Red Bull, and life!
No wait, don't leave me.
I'm so freaking hungry all the time.
Hungry for McDonalds, Red Bull, and life!
Wallflower
Hopes dashed again
Knows all the steps
Heart ache cuts deep
Keeping to myself
Private thoughts, no diary
Always smiling, happy
No one knows my anxiety
Life goes on...
Hopes dashed again
Knows all the steps
Heart ache cuts deep
Keeping to myself
Private thoughts, no diary
Always smiling, happy
No one knows my anxiety
Life goes on...
Boys tease because they like you?
What a joke.
Smug in his Friday football gear,
surrounded by his jock friends
and that ponytail-bouncing redhead.
Gag me with a pitchfork.
She can have him.
What a joke.
Smug in his Friday football gear,
surrounded by his jock friends
and that ponytail-bouncing redhead.
Gag me with a pitchfork.
She can have him.
Your lips are plump like Hot
Tamales
I want to crush them with mine
into wet blood.
Oh the pain,the pain,the pain
Why do you ignore me,my Twinkling
Star?
Life cuts me like razors
And only you can stitch up
my jagged sores.
Like Romeo I will drag my ladder
To your window,naked in body and
need.
Do not spurn my wanton ways.
Even if your Dad comes.
Tamales
I want to crush them with mine
into wet blood.
Oh the pain,the pain,the pain
Why do you ignore me,my Twinkling
Star?
Life cuts me like razors
And only you can stitch up
my jagged sores.
Like Romeo I will drag my ladder
To your window,naked in body and
need.
Do not spurn my wanton ways.
Even if your Dad comes.
# posted by : 11:12 AM
: 11:12 AM
--I've said this before... the Baylor basedRazor was a LOT weirder. Are all your students in Minnesota afraid of you or something?
I want to wear your fingernail
On a bike-chain around my neck
When the dark feelings come
I will kiss it with my tongue.
Or perhaps some yellow wax
From your apricot ears
I will eat on saltines
Will they fill my hungry tummy
When it screams your name.
"Bammmmmmmmmmm-BI!!!!!!"
On a bike-chain around my neck
When the dark feelings come
I will kiss it with my tongue.
Or perhaps some yellow wax
From your apricot ears
I will eat on saltines
Will they fill my hungry tummy
When it screams your name.
"Bammmmmmmmmmm-BI!!!!!!"
# posted by : 3:51 PM
: 3:51 PM
Like dead skin
I have picked from the bottom
Of my sorry toes,and lint discarded
From my belly-button,I will throw
You away,skanky refuse of my heart.
You do not deserve my love.
I will hide you beneath the couch
Pillows...out of my mind.
Even Mother will not find you there. Bandit of my soul and
wallet.
Sorry. I got inspired by IPLawGuy
Don't even think of asking for a ride in my pretty car ever again.
So there! And twice on Sundays!
I have picked from the bottom
Of my sorry toes,and lint discarded
From my belly-button,I will throw
You away,skanky refuse of my heart.
You do not deserve my love.
I will hide you beneath the couch
Pillows...out of my mind.
Even Mother will not find you there. Bandit of my soul and
wallet.
Sorry. I got inspired by IPLawGuy
Don't even think of asking for a ride in my pretty car ever again.
So there! And twice on Sundays!
# posted by : 4:20 PM
: 4:20 PM
Listen Geoffrey--
I love you like
I love a disgusting cold sore
Ugly and red,and oozing something.
Your lips are like lutefisk,limp on
My plate,never eaten for good Reason.Your ears are like brussels
sprouts,rotting in the rain and real smelly.
Your hair is like greasy spaghetti
Left in the sink after I'm done
With the dishes.
I would not kiss you even if
you were the last man on earth or
Todd F,whom I have only kissed once or twice on account of the fact that you were at your grandparents for Christmas. Dream on if you think you'll ge to any further bases.Except de-based.
Could we just go to Prom though?
You suck.
I love you like
I love a disgusting cold sore
Ugly and red,and oozing something.
Your lips are like lutefisk,limp on
My plate,never eaten for good Reason.Your ears are like brussels
sprouts,rotting in the rain and real smelly.
Your hair is like greasy spaghetti
Left in the sink after I'm done
With the dishes.
I would not kiss you even if
you were the last man on earth or
Todd F,whom I have only kissed once or twice on account of the fact that you were at your grandparents for Christmas. Dream on if you think you'll ge to any further bases.Except de-based.
Could we just go to Prom though?
You suck.
# posted by : 5:10 PM
: 5:10 PM If only I knew what he thought...
Does he love me, love me not???
I will never know...
Contorted heart, beats erratically
thump, thumpity, thumpity, ouch....
Who am I kidding...
Does he even know I exist?
Doubtful, just in my dreams
I pull off more petals
You will meet your true love
In high school and he will be
A handsome senior.Put away the Crystal ball,Cruel Mother.I have Met no one,no one,yes no one,
Save Patrick and he's fourteen too,
And has a pizza face.I have no life
Outside the library.Everyday a Water-fall of trembling Tears,trickles down my maiden Cheeks,wilting rapidly,like the Petals of an ebony rose I call out to him,but he savages me
With childish insults. Give me back
my heart,Black Raven of ignominy.
This is my humble plea.Why,oh why
Do mothers lie?
In high school and he will be
A handsome senior.Put away the Crystal ball,Cruel Mother.I have Met no one,no one,yes no one,
Save Patrick and he's fourteen too,
And has a pizza face.I have no life
Outside the library.Everyday a Water-fall of trembling Tears,trickles down my maiden Cheeks,wilting rapidly,like the Petals of an ebony rose I call out to him,but he savages me
With childish insults. Give me back
my heart,Black Raven of ignominy.
This is my humble plea.Why,oh why
Do mothers lie?
Under the Influence of E. E. Cummings?
Skinnylovelyboy
Shatterer of my heart
You fart.
Note: Spontaneous poem written, when I was 15, on a blackboard in the basement of our house, in front of my younger brother. He was lead guitarist in the band featuring the singer for whom this poem was intended. It make my brother laugh.
Skinnylovelyboy
Shatterer of my heart
You fart.
Note: Spontaneous poem written, when I was 15, on a blackboard in the basement of our house, in front of my younger brother. He was lead guitarist in the band featuring the singer for whom this poem was intended. It make my brother laugh.
# posted by : 9:49 PM
: 9:49 PM
Actually,Rebecca,I think its too skinnylovely of a poem to be bad high school poetry. And extremely profound in its sentiment. To be skinny lovely,as we all were once,and then to recognize that we all fart.That and it makes me laugh out loud. I'd still say your brother wins!
(Just want to say the poem you featured made me laugh out loud. It also made me glad I put my high school poetry in a dumpster long, long ago.)
Oops,I guess I missread your comment. It looks like that poem was yours,R,and I should be congratulating you!
Black.
Roses are black.
Violets are black.
Everything is black,
black like my shoe.
His hair is black.
His nails are black.
His lipstick is black.
Black is love.
Black is my heart.
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Roses are black.
Violets are black.
Everything is black,
black like my shoe.
His hair is black.
His nails are black.
His lipstick is black.
Black is love.
Black is my heart.
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