Winners! We have winners!

In the rhyming category, it's gotta be GED3:

While on the B-Line,
With an Outline for Hamline,
Osler's thoughts wander Porcine.

And in the non-rhyming sector, we have Renee:

Barrymore in a
Maroon silk smoking jacket
Seduced crowd with ham.

I have no idea what she is talking about, but it sounds great.

As is true with so many Razorites, there is a bit of history between these two, though neither may remember.

Back in 1994, Northwest Airlines had a special promotion, in which they hosted championship eating contests on the plane for the amusement of the passengers. On one such flight from Detroit to Houston, GED3 was the competitor (against one G. Walter Libble) and Renee was the flight attendant charged with filling him up.

As the crowd chanted his name, Renee brought GED3 several lobsters, a whole roasted pig, four football-sized potatoes, a loaf of bread, 17 or 18 jumbo shrimp, and a warm towel (which GED3 inadvertently ate, as well). Because Renee was charged with not only serving this feast but preparing it in the tiny galley, she arrived in Houston exhausted but somewhat intrigued by this half-man, half-beast they call... GED3.