Osler's Razor

The most disappointing year of my life was the year after I finished college. I had done well at school, and felt ready to take the next step... but the next step kept turning out to be tripping into a mud puddle.

I was turned down for an amazing array of jobs. I wanted to be a copy writer for an ad agency, and got some interviews but was rejected every time. Over and over, I failed. I was turned down by a fascinating group of employers, including Northwest Airlines, where I applied for jobs like being the guy at the gate who tells you your flight is delayed. They separated us into two groups, those who would go on in the process, and the rest of us. A guy next to me said, "welcome to the loser's bracket."

I finally got a job delivering flowers, and was not very good at that, even. I kept the job, but did not deserve to. I started to buy lottery tickets, and I felt as if my failures were an embarrassment to my parents. When I cried, people looked at me like I was just pathetic, and perhaps I was.

Of course, I eventually got my first job in law, as a process server, but that took a while.

It was an incredibly painful time, and I found my faith wavering-- from my small, selfish perspective, the world did not seem rationally constructed by a loving God.

But... maybe it was, after all. What if I had succeeded in getting those jobs? What if I had been hired as an ad writer? Perhaps I would have done well at that, and been fulfilled. Somehow, though, what I do now seems right and best for me, and I would not be doing it if I had not suffered those disappointments.

When I look at the best things in my life, almost always they had their roots in a low ebb. Certainly, I am a fortunate and privileged person in ways I don't deserve, and the hardships of so many others dwarf my small travails. Still, from my limited experience, I do give thanks for the professional disappointments I have known, because nearly always they pushed me away from something, and towards something else.

Others, I think, have seen the same as they look back at their path.