Monday, October 10, 2011
Haiku Winner Announced!
It's hard not to love last week's haikus-- there were so many good ones. Still, I could not get this one, by Renee, out of my head:
A spring green John Deere
Truck,which she eased into ditch
Like foot to slipper.
One other reader asked if John Deere made trucks, and in fact it appears that Chevy marketed John Deere pickups at one time. Who knew? At any rate, it's hard to criticize a poem with the line "she eased into the ditch/Like foot to slipper."
As for Renee, her story is well known to many. America's foremost militant creedalist, she has spent the past three decades forcing the Nicene Creed on those who refuse to say it. Most recently, she was arrested in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, for holding hostage three Amish men who refused her insistence that they say the creed. In this instance she employed "The Convincer," a Mossburg pump-action 500 Shotgun she stole from a trucker near Reno. She has previously been involved in what she calls "dynamic creed conversions" in 31 states, Puerto Rico, Aruba, and the Northern Mariana Trust Territory.
Many have faced Renee's persuasions in this regard-- Mennonites, Quakers, Jews, and Atheists alike. She is a past recipient of the Knights of Columbus "Golden Rule" award, the Nicene's "Legends of the Creed" medal, and was first runner-up for Miss Washington USA in 1978. She now resides in Edina, Minnesota, where everyone says the creed.
One can only imagine how she found this blog.
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I found the blog with the aid of two ardent creedalist accomplices:Neil Alan Willard of The House of Jesus and Professor Susan Stabile,soon to become the First Catholic High Priestess. It is a little known fact,by the way,that I went into the ditch in a creed-induced trance,while trying to insure that the creed had seeped into every pore of my body,soul and mind.I did this by singing and saying every line of the creed until my lips grew quite numb and blue from the cold ditch water. I ascribe my saving from certain drowning to God Almighty,who placed my foot on the brake at exactly the beneficent moment.This to my mind was a sign of creed approbation from On High. I am presently working on an Amish version of the creed,which will do away with any need for conversion.Thank you for this high honor and...Happy Creeding,All!
In church yesterday, we heard a sermon about covenanting with God, both individually and collectively, and closed with the Apostle's Creed. I couldn't help but think, "Osler would LOVE this!" Now this is a Baptist church, so creeds are not a traditional component of the liturgy...I wonder if Renee was behind it!
Sorry about the double photo of the truck-- I meant to have the cartoon of IPLawGuy and Renee up there at the top. D'oh!
Three Cheers for Renee!
Next, we will work on the Athanasian Creed with all of the cool anathemas!
Spot
Next, we will work on the Athanasian Creed with all of the cool anathemas!
Spot
# posted by 
: 12:24 PM
: 12:24 PM
From the Chaise whilst wearing my Haiku Tiara,Mauve Velvet Smoking Jacket,eating Belgian chocolate and drinking Veuve Clicquot:I must say that I was certain S would win,and that my heart sank, as I read her last incomparable gem,"the best you have,a sad wave."
Is that a challenge,Susan? If so,we all should try our hands...that will drive The Professor stark raving mad...and he will be repeating the creed in gibberish! That may put us at cross purposes. Get it?!!
Three Faces bloom One
Virginrose vessel,Man/God's
Bloodcross flowers churchchild
I give! "This was too hard,"she whined."Must have more syllables!"
Virginrose vessel,Man/God's
Bloodcross flowers churchchild
I give! "This was too hard,"she whined."Must have more syllables!"
Tyd, I think you are referring to this. I forgot that at the end you tell IPLawGuy that you will "murder him with your oven mitts."
Congratulations Renee! I always, always do a double-take on your haikus...must be why I love them so much ;)
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