Osler's Razor

Our winner from Haiku Firday? Bob! Here was his winning submission, complete with subtle golf reference:

Hey IPLawSmurf:
Careful! You are treading on
Some dangerous turf!

Here, forthwith, is his life story:

Bob graduated from Baylor Normal School (as it was then known) in 1936 with a bachelor of arts in fashion merchandising and dentistry. He was the editor of The Round Up (Baylor's Wrestling Magazine) and was elected Outstanding Senior Man (Misdemeanors). He received a surveying certificate from the University of North Texas in 1938. His thesis, "Between Dallas and Fort Worth: Separating East From West With Barbed Wire, Spit, and Vinegar" was later released as an R-Rated educational filmstrip by the Markham Press. From 1938 to 1986, Darden was Cars and Pets Editor for The Waco Tribune-Herald. He also wrote for a number of magazines including Road & Track, Cat Fancier, AutoWeek, Tabby Fan, Lew's Automotive Monthly, and Kitty Kar Digest. In 1985, he was the ghostwriter for the autobiography of Toonces, the Cat That Could Drive a Car, a project that finally combined his two great loves.

In 1986, Bob received a Rotary Foundation Fellowship to study the role of cats in film at the University of Bristol in England, home of Britain's largest academic program focused on cats. During this time, he was bitten by a radioactive cat during a science experiment that went horribly wrong, an incident that led to a hospitalization of nearly seven months and the acquisition of strange new powers-- including retractible claws, a long tail, and a supersensitive sense of smell. Upon his return to the United States, he was briefly a member of the Justice League, a term which ended badly with what later became known as the "hairball incident."

In 1988, after a semester of teaching several courses in breaking and entering at Texas State Technical College, Bob began freelancing full time as a scent consultant, He accepted a Baylor tenure-track position in smelling in fall 1999, and received tenure in spring 2001.

His articles and short stories have appeared in Cat Fancy, Cat Fancier, Modern Cat, Feline Fascinations, and many other magazines, newspapers and journals. He has been interviewed or featured on All Things Considered, Tapestry (Canadian Broadcasting Corp.) and Fresh Air, and has been interviewed in The New Yorker. He also appeared in the movie "Catwoman," which starred his former fiancé, Halle Berry.

Bob lives in Waco with his lovely and talented wife Mary and is a deacon at Seventh & James Baptist Church. He is the drummer for After Midnight, a popular Waco-based R&B band.