Osler's Razor

Superzeroz Movie
by: oslerguy

There were many, many good haiku entries last week, but my personal favorite was this, by the Spanish Medievalist:

Surface of the sun
is cooler than my house in
Waco, Tejas, por Dios!

And, herewith, his bio:

Of all the Razorites, the Spanish Medievalist has the most fascinating story. An actual Catalan knight who was killed by a Moorish sword to the groin in 935 A.D., the long-dead Medievalist was returned to life through advanced DNA recovery techniques as part of Baylor's ambitious and tragically flawed "Vision 1012." The point of Vision 1012 was to create a critical mass of pre-enlightenment scholars on the Baylor faculty. Because there were so few living scholars willing to decry the intellectual advances of the enlightenment, Baylor resorted to resuscitating corpses from the pre-enlightenment/post Augustine period, enrolling them in colleges and graduate programs around the nation, and then employing them as professors.

Sadly, the Spanish Medievalist was one of the few success stories of Vision 1012. The biggest disaster was a Mongol named Temujin, who was resuscitated, sent to George Mason and Rutgers, then given a teaching post at Baylor-- a post from which he brutally conquered Texas, Louisiana, New Mexico, and much of northern Mexico before the Nuclear Incident of 2004 ended his despotic reign.

The Spanish Medievalist was sent to study at Gustavus Adolphus, a small but prestigious liberal arts school in Minnesota. During his time as a "Gustie," SM learned English, basic math, how to operate motor vehicles, and dentistry (this last on his own, of sad consequence). He completed his Ph.D. at the University of Minnesota, offering a dissertation on the topic of "Literature of the Catalan People in the Development of Groin Injury Sagas." Once employed at Baylor, he became a successful and popular teacher, despite his unusual attire, which he assembled himself using the colors of the Spanish flag, several yards of duct tape, and a protective cup.

Most recently, the Spanish Medievalist was awarded the title of Full Professor, which he celebrated with a fine meal of tapas and the somewhat misguided slaughter of his enemies in Penland Hall.

All hail the Spanish Medievalist!