Osler's Razor

Last friday's haikus on summer reading were wonderful as a whole, and there could have been several winners. I like that nearly all of the haikus you guys write put mine to shame.

The winner, though, is Carrie Willard, who penned this masterpiece:

Franklin and his bride,
Eleanor: love, polio,
Lies, politics, teeth.

I loved it because it made me really want to read that book! (Teeth?)

So, accordingly, here is the life story of Ms. Carrie Willard:

Ms. Willard was born in a small town in Wisconsin, known then as Manicotowinac (it is now called Manicowotsowan). Her father was a clergyman, and her mother a three-time winner of the Grammy award for Best New Artist (she kept creating new identities, including Nancy Sinatra and a member of the Bay City Rollers).

Her girlhood was normal for that place and time-- learning to drive at 11, shooting her first deer from the car at 12, three happy summers spent at "Bucky Badger's You Are All Grown Up Now!" camp (ages 12-14), and the routine dismissal of several misdemeanor charges. She was known throughout Monowictowan County as an ace at both broomball and Whack-A-Mole, and is still selling (on eBay) stuffed animal-style prizes she won in that era. However, she will never sell off her most prized possessions: a complete set of severed heads from "Bert" of Sesame Street--



After a tumultuous six years at the University of Wisconsin, Ms. Willard claimed her diploma and went off to law school at Williams College. Graduating there in just three years, she pursued a career in complex litigational legal complexities, and during this time met and married her husband, Neil Alan Willard (who at that time was still on the PGA Tour and marketing his own line of kitchen cleaning products on QVC). After NAW received his preaching certificate from Dartmouth, he took his new bride off to Minnesota, where he was building his brand-new Neil Alan Willard House of Jesus.

At present, Ms. Willard remains in Minnesota and and is mastering the art of Long Island cooking. For the next Razor Reunion... clambake!