Osler's Razor

If you forgive people before they change, you are enabling them. It is the worst thing you could do.
 

Doctrine and Covenants 64:7-13 (available at http://scriptures.lds.org/en/dc/64/)
7 ... I, the Lord, forgive sins unto those who confess their sins before me and ask forgiveness, who have not sinned unto death.
8 My disciples, in days of old, sought aoccasion against one another and forgave not one another in their hearts; and for this evil they were afflicted and sorely chastened.
9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.
10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.
11 And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.
12 And him that repenteth not of his sins, and confesseth them not, ye shall bring before the church, and do with him as the scripture saith unto you, either by commandment or by revelation.
13 And this ye shall do that God may be glorified—not because ye forgive not, having not compassion, but that ye may be justified in the eyes of the law, that ye may not offend him who is your lawgiver—
 

For me, I would ask whether the person's harmful behavior is directly impacting me. If it isn't, then why would I need to forgive them. I can feel sorry and even sad for the fact they hurt themself or others close to them.

If this harmful behavior is impacting me and they have made no attempt to change or alter this behavior despite having been told, shown, counseled or whatever then I have to agree with Anon 10:30. Forgiving them is in someway enabling them.

We also must accept the fact that we can offer assistance or direction to a person who struggles but they must want to change the behavior.
 

"If you forgive people before they change, you are enabling them. It is the worst thing you could do."

That's where faith comes in! How are we to grow and become more like the Lord if we never exercise faith that He will carry our burdens? I think we fool ourselves if we think our own conclusions are greater/wiser than the direction that has been given to us through the scriptures. By doing so, we're enabling our own lack of faith and failure grow to become more like Him.*

Additionally, I think you can forgive w/out enabling. The example that comes to mind is the show called "Intervention." On the show, family members and friends confront someone who has harmful behavior. They forgive the person for what they've done to harm them, but the friends and family set consequences. Most of the time it includes severing their relationship. In that way, I think it's possible to forgive w/out enabling.

My answer would be that we do need to forgive someone who has not stopped their harmful behavior. I think the common sense comes in when we figure out how to keep that behavior from continuing to harm us.

*I know it is much, much easier to preach it on a blog comment than it is to put it into practice. Many times, the direction that has been given to me through Christ's gospel does not seem to make any sense in my "real world" experiences. Regardless, I know that it is only through faith in an unknown result (that will always be for my benefit!) that I can struggle to become more like Him.
 

Good question. The book, "The Sunflower: On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness," presents some interesting perspectives on this issue. I tend to agree the Jewish idea of forgiveness. To clarify, this is just my perception of this idea as presented by the rabbi's in this book.
Forgiveness can only occur after repentance and retribution. If the person is still hurting the victim, forgiveness is not possible.
 

I want to add that I interpret the 7 times 70 verse to mean that you don't have to turn the other cheek on the 491st offense. At that point it's a good idea to walk away.
 

God's forgiveness for people is not dependent upon any human action or effort (notably repentance). God's love or grace calls forth our repentance, but it does not depend upon it in any way whatsoever. In the Christian context, Christ died for us while we were yet sinners. Jesus calls Peter to forgive 70 times 7 which is really a colloquial way of saying we must always forgive. We will never forgive as completely and as fully as God forgives, we are human. At the same time, our repentance and contrition (acts of humility and love), even when it is quite sincere, will never be perfect or God like. The best we can seek is the path of humility, and again, this is never perfect.

God's love (and forgiveness) is perfect, ours is at best proximate. Forgiveness does not necessitate that the relationship between people returns to the status quo ante. Relationships change all the time. The best we can strive for is the way of humility, repentance, and forgiveness according to the grace which God has already imparted to us. When we seek this in our relationship with God and when we seek it in our relationships with all others, we become healthier as individuals, more at peace with one another, and content with the knowledge that we are resting in God's grace.

God has forgiven us once and for all. We may not be able to forgive one another all the time (we are human), and sometimes we may wonder if we can forgive at all. Yet, principally forgiveness is the work of God toward us and we are invited to seek the path for ourselves and others in our relationship with God and with our neighbor. Forgiveness offered, received, or sought, like repentance, comes through humility. The peculiar thing with humility is that once we are conscious of it, we are no longer so. Humility, and perhaps forgiveness and faith for that matter, are not our possessions or our intellectual property, but a way for us to live. Before we get to forgiveness and faith, humility must come.
 

As one who needs forgiveness, I tend to think Tanny's News is right. People like me do not deserve it. Then, as a Christian, I read Scott's comment. His outlook shows love and grace. Neither of which are deserved when people have been hurt. Being sorry is different than being forgiven. Asking for forgiveness is hard. Having it accepted is a thousand times more. I just hope that I forgive more than I receive.
On a side note, I feel like I have read that Scott is a pastor somewhere. I wish he was mine.