Osler's Razor

I'm quite excited about the Oscar awards this Sunday, and have given quite a bit of thought to my picks. Admittedly, I am hindered by the fact that I have seen only four movies this year (counting American Violet twice), but I'm sure this is true of some of the official voters, too! Without further ado... let's pick the winners!

1) Best Supporting Actress

MoniQue

One night, really late, I was flipping around cable and found MoniQue doing comedy on some channel up in the 700's. That lady can bring it! Plus, I'm kind of scared of her.

2) Best Supporting Actor

Donald Sutherland

This guy just has everything you might want in a supporting actor: The serious chops, the ability to listen with empathy, and he can appear with a beard or without one. If he doesn't win, count me disappointed.

C) Best Actress

Sandra Bullock

People in America love two things: Beautiful women and football. Well, men, anyways, some of them. They love beautiful women and football, and artificial cheese food, and beer, and salty snacks and sports that are created for television. I know I am making these guys seem pretty shallow, now that I read back over this. So, Sandra Bullock.

4) Best Actor

The Blue Guy from Avatar

Can you imagine being eight feet tall and blue all the time? What do you put on the census for your race, or when you have jury service or something? It's messy. That guy has to put up with all of that. Plus, he gets stuck with this role where he has to seem confused about suddenly having a tail. He did a pretty good job with it, I think, though I did notice that he was wearing a Mondavo watch about half the time, and that didn't seem to fit with the rest of the "blue people" ethic.

E) Best Picture

Definitely Doomsday. I mean, seriously... who else has ever had the nerve to portray the Scots as punk-obsessed cannibals who are unable to scale a 12-foot wall? This film is awesome. Ok, like, there is this woman who can take out her eye and roll it around and still see stuff! How cool is that? I want one. So, anyways, Doomsday will win.