Saturday, April 11, 2009
Razor Q & A: The Easter Bunny
Oddly, the back story on the Easter Bunny is almost completely unknown. To help fill in the gaps, you can count on the Razor (the only blog to explain what happened to Frosty).
Q: Where does the Easter Bunny live?
A: The bunny has a secret underground lair deep beneath the Naval Observatory in Washington DC, a location he was able to secure through his political alliances with the Bush Administration. In fact, neighbors in the area complained bitterly about the construction noise before they were were relocated to new homes in Anacostia.
Q: If the bunny is a mammal, why does it deliver eggs?
A: Traditionally, rabbits and chickens are mortal barnyard enemies. The Easter Bunny, as a giant Goliath-type rabbit, personally slaughtered thousands of chickens and looted their nests. Needing something to do with all those eggs that would be consistent with his political beliefs, he decided to distribute them to wealthy children.
Q: Does the Easter Bunny have a wife?
A: Yes, he has several. Their names are Princess, Fluffy, Gladys, Zonker, Princess (2), Tiffy, Princess (3), and Gordona.
Please feel free to forward any additional questions you might have.
Comments:
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Did the rabbit marry three different Princesses, or the same one three times?
# posted by 
: 10:05 AM
: 10:05 AM
Prof.:
Everybody knows that the Bunny was involved in the rigging of the 2000 election, but how did he continue his long-term relationship with Bush that lead to such rich rewards as a Senate seat and up to 4 pardons and 8 commutations in a 12-month period? Was bribery involved?
Everybody knows that the Bunny was involved in the rigging of the 2000 election, but how did he continue his long-term relationship with Bush that lead to such rich rewards as a Senate seat and up to 4 pardons and 8 commutations in a 12-month period? Was bribery involved?
How many offspring does the Bunny have? You know what they say about rabbits' mating habits . . .
# posted by : 10:10 PM
: 10:10 PM
I never did get the Bunny Carrot Egg connection to Easter the OTHER one I mean with you know Jesus Rising or whatever .
Does the Easter Bunny prefer marshmallow Peeps,Jelly Beans or those nasty chocolate eggs with the stuff that looks like yolk?
Why does the Easter Bunny wear clothes? I would think the fur would be sufficient.
Also, why does he insist on ham for Easter lunch? I mean, I like pork just as much as the next person, but I prefer it in bacon form. Is the Easter Bunny anti-bacon? Maybe he is Vegan?
I'm going to go eat the kids Cadbury eggs, since they don't like them! Yum!
Mrs. CL
Also, why does he insist on ham for Easter lunch? I mean, I like pork just as much as the next person, but I prefer it in bacon form. Is the Easter Bunny anti-bacon? Maybe he is Vegan?
I'm going to go eat the kids Cadbury eggs, since they don't like them! Yum!
Mrs. CL
# posted by : 10:31 AM
: 10:31 AM
Why are the two most holy days in Christianity also shared with two of the most secular commercial days of the year? I don't get it.
# posted by : 12:38 PM
: 12:38 PM
Anon 11:38--
I agree with you. However, Thanksgiving, although not inherently Christian, is a great time to be thankful for the amazing blessings God has bestowed upon us. Plus, outside of the turkey/Palin crowd, it's non-commercial.
I agree with you. However, Thanksgiving, although not inherently Christian, is a great time to be thankful for the amazing blessings God has bestowed upon us. Plus, outside of the turkey/Palin crowd, it's non-commercial.
Which Easter Bunny did you talk to, for pete's sake? The Mormon Easter Bunny?
I always had my doubts about that guy...he's just too nice for his own good. If you're going to be delivering eggs to the 'hood, you've got to be one tough Coco.
- Coco, Another Easter Bunny
P.S.: As for the other questions, Micah's referring to the Creepy Florida Easter Bunny, nobody knows how many Little Bunnies we've made, Christine got nothing for for Easter because she blasphemed Thee Holye Cadburye Egges, Easter Bunnies don't always wear clothes (I'm naked), and I have no clue about that secularism thing, but I do have a snag in my forehead that looks like a cross (FWIW).
Oh, and personally...I like enchiladas on Easter morning. With no pig.
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I always had my doubts about that guy...he's just too nice for his own good. If you're going to be delivering eggs to the 'hood, you've got to be one tough Coco.
- Coco, Another Easter Bunny
P.S.: As for the other questions, Micah's referring to the Creepy Florida Easter Bunny, nobody knows how many Little Bunnies we've made, Christine got nothing for for Easter because she blasphemed Thee Holye Cadburye Egges, Easter Bunnies don't always wear clothes (I'm naked), and I have no clue about that secularism thing, but I do have a snag in my forehead that looks like a cross (FWIW).
Oh, and personally...I like enchiladas on Easter morning. With no pig.
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