Osler's Razor

1. I want him to come up with some guidelines or standards for how these entities got onto his list. Then, I want an IRAC-style analysis for each entry. I don't think it's too much to ask that someone who very publicly claims to be Right like God is Right subject himself to the kind of transparency and conscienctious thinking required of, say, a first-year law student on his first exam that no one but the teacher/grader will see.

2. So...apparently I've been deeply in danger of gayness for quite a long time, along with almost everyone I know around my age group. I think that of all those people (possibly of all the people I know, period, plus or minus five), maybe three actually consider themselves to be homosexual. Given that the original number those three are pulled from is in the hundreds, I'd say that even three out of one hundred might be an acceptable conclusion in some sense--that is, if you go ahead and let your children listen to what we listened to when we listened to it, you at least know what the odds are. *snarkiness, facetious, harrumphery*

3. On the subject of "safe bands,"

a. I think I'm just going to start with Cheap Trick. Does, um, he know what a cheap trick is? And I have to assume that if he's pouncing all over the Pauline epistles in his views on homosexuality, then he's got to be aware that by his own logic the hair length (a common interpretation of what Paul calls "head covering") on some of the band's members in the seventies is leading little boys straight into male prostitution a la 1 Corinthians.

b. Cyndi Lauper. Ah, "She Bop"--Lauper's "paean to masturbation!" I don't think I'll ever forget the crushed look in my father's eyes when I explained to him that this was not the song he would want to mention when he felt like trotting out his pop culture awareness. I eventually had to tell him why when he tried to sing the lyrics. It was terrible. However, my own personal trauma aside, I strongly doubt Davies could in good faith claim the kind of stark innocence my father has been possessed of his entire life--especially since Davies at least professes to keep somewhat abreast of this sort of thing. Embarrassing paeans aside, Mr. Davies has apparently not seen this picture. If Eminem is on the big gay list, I think someone should let GLAAD know that they should have spent a bit less time listening to his actual (rather famously homophobic) lyrics and a bit more time looking out for his true stripes should he appear in a gay pride parade. That's when they'll know it's really on!

4. George Michael isn't a Texan. Trust me, we'd know. He's British and of Greek-Cypriot descent. One of his several houses is in Dallas, but Mr. Davies should know that is hardly enough for Texans to embrace someone as one of their own. I think having only one of several homes here actually counts against you if you are from Europe and that house is in Dallas instead of, say, the ranch-y, desert-y gloriousness that is West Texas. Other parts might work if you are at least an American or if it's your only home (or maybe even one of a couple), but if you're George Michael, West Texas is pretty much your only available path to Texanization.

There's so much more that bothers me, but I must excuse myself: I catharted.

Gripe. Grumble. Harrumph.
 

My only comment: you only think that this is somewhat deranged? Sheesh, does this guy really think that I should burn my iPod because it contains songs by Metallica, The Killers, and Coldplay?
 

I'm pretty sure Donnie isn't so serious about all this, this the "somewhat."

Stephanie, that was beautiful. (tear)

But, what if the house was in Waco? And it was his only house? And he was from Detroit?
 

He forgot Queen Latiffa; I read that she came out.

I am in trouble as I listen to lots of these artists; Ani diFranco, kd Lang, Queen Latiffa, John Mayer, Eminem, Barry Manilow and Lou Rawls. Apparently my cd collection is leaning a strange way.
 

Then you don't wanna see my Erasure-laden playlist, Christine!

I wonder if Donnie is the Davies brother that Ray and Dave don't talk about...

All I can say is, George Strait?!! Come on! I mean, just look at his name for goodness sakes.
 

At least Motorhead makes sense.
 

Motorhead is many things. They are the band that if they move in next door, your lawn dies. They are Gods of Thunder. They are slayers of dragons. They have white line fever. They are one of the greatest power trios to ever roam the face of the earth.

But they are most definitely not a gay band.
 

Not that there's anything wrong with it.
 

You forgot "Toby Keith (cowboy)". He really has a thing against all Texas culture I guess. Or he's watched "Full Metal Jacket" one too many times and really believes the "steers and queers" line.

Although I agree that no one should listen to Nickelback... but that's just because they're terrible...

This guy really is just so amusingly tragic. If Slipknot is "gay" because they wear makeup, then what does he make of KISS??? And what garnered the inclusion of Eminem, an admitted homophobe? The fact that he once sang on stage with Elton John? Then I'm afraid we're all going to catch "the gay". *rolls eyes*

(And Queen Latifah has never come out as gay. There's just intense speculation, which she refuses to confirm or deny.)
 

Toby Keith is not from Texas. He's from that crappy state immediately to the north of Texas.
 

What about Franz Ferdinand? I think it definitely belongs on the list solely based on Michael.
 

Stephanie:

I LOVE THAT PHRASE:

"...in danger of gayness."

I like all of these people. I am, in Christine's beautiful words, "deeply in danger of gayness."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING AT THESE WORDS!!!!!!!
 

EMINEM????

I would think listening to his music would lead someone to the being deeply in danger of homophobia.
 

So if "She Bop" is bad, I guess "Turning Japanese" by the Vapors is bad too.

I love explaining that one to people!!!

Just like I am always surprised by the number of people who have never really listened to the words to LOLA by the Kinks, let alone "All The Young Dudes" by Mott the Hoople. I guess those tunes are too old to get them on Danny's list.
 

I feel like sending this guy a list of "queercore" and "riot grrrl" bands to investigate for possible gayness on the offchance his head explodes halfway through his first listen to Bikini Kill or Pansy Division.

A man can dream.
 

"they lure children in with pop grooves"....

Couple of things:
1)He finds Morrisey "questionable" (with a ? before and after the word, to emphasize the questioning). Morrisey certainly doesn't consider himself "questionable".
2)I am disappointed I did not make the list. I don't have a CD or anything. I just feel like I should be on there somewhere.
3) We laugh, but some idiot will do this to their children. "They should have it emblazoned on their young minds". Good god.
4)If this is what "ordinary" people are like, DONNIE, i'm glad I ain't one.
 

I admit i am saying this without reading all your posts, but really . . . I just don't understand why Donnie or anyone would spend so much time and energy crusading against what two people do in their bedroom, not hurting anybody else. Or two people who want to spend their lives together. I really don't care if they're two guys, two girls, or a girl and a guy. In the scheme of important world issues, Donnie, why don't you pick something that's actually killing people, or making them poor, or killing the environment?

And it (homosexuality and homophobia) brings up the issue of privacy, too. What if Donnie has some sort of "abnormal" habits? I really don't care, as long as he's not intentionally hurting someone else.

Okay, that's my rant for the week.
 

swissgirl, I totally agree with you. I wish I had been raised by two gay men or two gay women instead of my nutjob parents. They were highly educated emotionally retarded people who should have raised coyotes.
 

I was (partially) raised by two gay men. It worked out fine for me.Which reminds me--why isn't REM on the list? Did I miss it? That is my (gay) uncle's favorite band. He used to dance w. me when I was a baby to REM, to get me to go to sleep. That's the type of sick homosexual activity Donnie is trying to prevent.
 

people-

The Donny Davies thing is a very well done parody. Really.
 

HAHA NO WAY! Oh, donnie. And here I was adding him to my Christmas card list.
Is this: http://americansfortruth.com/issues/the-bible-churches-glbtq/b-ex-homosexual-testimonies
 

Prof.,

How much leverage can Pootie the anchor baby provide you?
 

I wonder what this crazy man thinks of purple bunnies?!
 

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