Friday, November 14, 2008

 

Goofy Haiku Friday (Feat. MC Jessica w/ "Pluto's Got a Gun")


First of all, yesterday's Sentencing class was a lot of fun. I can tell already I am going to enjoy that class (Appeals and Habeas is harder to judge, since it meets at 4 am or something).

Of course, sentencing is something I understand. There are a lot of things I don't understand at all, however. For example-- what is the deal with Mickey Mouse, Goofy, and Pluto? Mickey, a rodent, has a pet dog (Pluto). That's pretty strange in and of itself. On top of that, however, Mickey also has a friend who is a dog, Goofy. How does that work? How can an animal own another, larger animal as a pet? And doesn't Pluto have a problem with this?

Urgh. These are unanswerable questions, I fear. So let's just create haiku, instead.

The topics:

1) Unusual cartoon relationships
2) Baylor v. A & M
3) The first week of class
4) Philosophy as an undergraduate major
5) Thanksgiving
6) The Simpsons
7) Jethro Tull
8) Princess Diana
9) British Premier League Football
10) Summum

Here is mine:

Goofy n' Pluto
The words Mickey always fears:
Pluto has a gun!

Now it is your turn....

Comments:
Shaggy and Scooby,
Proposition number eight,
California.
 
Pluto has a gun?
That's funny; Goofy always
Seemed more Texan.
 
A & M weekend,
Corporal Crabby's in town.
Orders: No fun here!
 
Snoopy friends with bird.
My dog wants to catch the birds.
Gotta love Woodstock.
 
Philosophy is
Good for law, thinking, and girls
Not very much else.
 
Premier Football.
Yes, it has three syllables.
Must speak like a Brit.
 
take away their sign
and goodbye einstein bagels
you will not be missed
 
counsellor is wrong?
don't think that RR, its wrong
mickey knows better
 
Pluto's got a gun.
Disney World's come undone, what
did his Mickey doooo?

Sorry, but Very Anonymous got the music in my head with his/her haiku...

("it's Pluto's last I.O.U. His dog day's just begun..." Arg, it's stuck in there good now, doh!)
 
Ginger--

Is that an actual song?
 
Summum: now we ain't
Making fun of nobody
But that's one strange group.

My people can't spend
Too much on mummifying
Wrap 'em in TP.
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
I could resist....

Dum, dum, dum, Pluto what have you done
Dum, dum, dum, it's the sound of my gun
Dum, dum, dum, Pluto what have you done
Dum, dum, dum, it's the sound, it's the sound...
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah....

Pluto's got a gun
Pluto's got a gun
Disneyworld's come undone
From looking straight at the sun
What did that damn mouse do?
What did he put you through?

They say when Pluto was taken to the pound
They found him underneath a train
But man, he had it comin'
Now that pluto's got a gun
Magic Kingdom's never gonna be the same

Pluto's got a gun
Pluto's got a gun
His dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run (spoken: no re-entry to the park!)
Tell her now it's untrue
What did that damn mouse do?

He tried to own a larger animal
The mouse has got to be insane
They say the spell that he was under
The lightnin' and the thunder (cue: Fantasia music)
Knew that someone had to stop the rain

Run away, run away from the pain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Run away, run away from the pain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Pluto's got a gun
Pluto's got a gun
His dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
What did that damn mouse do?
Mickey dogs are much bigger than you!

He had to take him down easy
And put a bullet in his brain (spoken: right between the ears!)
He said "Arf arf arf arf arf!"
The mouse was such a sleeze
He ain't never gonna be the same

Run away, run away from the pain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Run away, run away from the pain
Yeah, yeah, off the leash, yeah,
Run away, run away, run, run away

Pluto's got a gun
Pluto's got a gun
Pluto's got a gun
Everybody is on the run

Pluto's got a gun
His dog day's just begun
Now everybody's on the run (Honey, honey no reentry!)
'Cause Pluto's got a gun (Tell me it ain't right)
Pluto's got a gun (Was it that "It's a small world" music)
His dog day's just begun (That made you scream at night)
Now everybody's on the run
Pluto's got a gun
 
This may be the best list of haiku topics ever:

Aqualung my friend
lets bungle in the jungle
locomotive breath.

You know what I hate
When people think Jethro Tull
is one of the guys.

Glory, Glory Man
United!! As the Reds go
marching ON! ON! ON!

Poor scousers. Poor lil
scousers. Football team is crap.
Torres is crap too.

Ryan Giggs! Paul Scholes!
Cristiano Ronaldo!
And the great Roy Keane!!

Chelsea is lame, and
Arsenal is a girl's team.
And City are CRAP!

A good mind is a
terrible thing to waste. Don't
go to A&M.

In fish camp they have
to tell the freshmen that "baaa"
means no. Protect sheep.
 
Once, Philosophy
Was teaching people to fish
With just their bare hands.

Today they STILL that:
"Because it will make you a
better person." -- Kant

Philosopy is
Now naval-gazing of the
Highest order. -- Me

Mike
 
I'm guessing that Mike isn't Mike Beatty. Just a guess.
 
I have it on good authority that it is Stephen Evans.
Ted
P.S. How come most of the Disney characters don't wear pants?
 
Disney guys, no pants
Same reason as Bates in Spring-
Freak flag is flyin'!
 
Noddy can fly planes
drive car but can't tie his shoes.
Has to ask BigEars.

JESSICA!!! She is
PROLIFIC!!!! HA HA HA HA
Best Haikus ever.

Mediation is
Monday. Have GREAT lawyers, Great
friends. Hope for the BEST.
 
Anonymous, I hope not.

Jessica! You made my overworked Friday, girl! Thank you also so much for taking the high road, I really did not want to equate my version with the original..in meaning, if you get my drift. Yuck. You are on fire! :)
 
Man United has
Lost to 'Pool and Arsenal,
Still eight points behind

No British Premier
League, the English, Scots, Irish
Welsh have own FAs
 
Sir,
Jess, Tapp, and I are in both of your classes and you only think highly of one, that hurts. I may act like a tough guy but I have a lot of feelings and you hurt most of them, damn near every one. Either you don't consider us part of the class at all or we just are neutral in your eyes and neither help nor hinder classes.
I have made a point to make it to the 8 a.m. when I would rather have not because of the time. I have done energy shots to make sure I get out of bed because I fear you'll pull through with your ATF threat. I think we deserve more credit!
 
The littlest Simpson,
Lisa, Always precocious
Never grows up. Does

She know? Does she care?
Gettin' philosphical
About the Simpsons.
 
Dude--

She wrote monster song lyrics.

She wins.

Deal with it.

Plus, you know it is true...
 
Never had one: A
Turducken, that is. Ewww. Sounds
kind of gruesome.

But then, I like my Turkey sliced, as in not on the bird. I prefer not to know that it once was a bird you know? When you think about it Thanksgiving the food anyway is kind of a barbaric "Henry the Eighth" kind of holiday: "Pass me a LEG," "I 'd like some GIBLET Gravy." "How did you STUFF your BIRD."
Cuz nothing says HOLIDAY like eating turkey parts...


I knew a guy from Houston once, who used to say "It ain't a meal without a Critter." HAHAHA that used to crack me up.

BUt I DO LOVE the spirit of Thanksgiving, very much and I have a lot to be thankful for. I just wish we could have like spaghetti or something a little less uhm... graphic.

This is not a Haiku, really , by the why. I just am hoping Monday goes well and this can allll be over, and I celebrate Thanksgiving in the usual way: with my family, at home, fending off a psychotic dog while enjoying a delicious meal cooked by Whole Foods.
Because I cannot cook.

I cannot BELIEVE it is Thanksgiving already.
 
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