Saturday, December 08, 2007
Razor holiday shopping guide item two: Anti-Canadian Shirt!
Dear Osler's Razor holiday shopping guide: I am a middle-aged woman looking for just the right gift to deeply offend and alienate a Canadian acquaintance. What do you recommend?
Loyal Texan
Dear Tex: I would heartily commend to you the shirt shown here (thanks IPLawGuy!), available at Busted Tees, which offers a full line of offensive t-shirts. While Canada has provided us with many fine people who have honed their craft in the U.S. (ie, Neil Young, Paul Larson, Brian Larson, Spiro Agnew, Mike Modano, Wink Martindale, Manute Bol, Amy Grant, Brian Serr, Celine Dion, and two or three others), it also is a thorn in the side of America as they relentlessly show a holier-than-thou attitude in sanctioning gay marriage and refusing to join us in several of our wars within the past decade. God is punishing Canada, too-- right now, Prime Minister Gretsky is struggling with the destruction of the parliament building, which has steadily been melting due to global warming.
This tee would also serve to offend those in near-Canadian districts such as Detroit (seriously-- any city that calls itself "Hockeytown" is pretty much already in Canada, albeit an extremely violent and dysfunctional part of Canada).
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Fabulous tee - I actually know someone who would really like that and who I still don't have a present for.
BUT I would not live up to my status as "That chick that used to watch hockey obsessively until they all decided to emulate the NFL and whine about their million dollar salaries and so she lost interest" if I didn't inform you that Mike Modano was actually born in Michigan - one of the few decent hockey players that was NOT born in Canada.
BUT I would not live up to my status as "That chick that used to watch hockey obsessively until they all decided to emulate the NFL and whine about their million dollar salaries and so she lost interest" if I didn't inform you that Mike Modano was actually born in Michigan - one of the few decent hockey players that was NOT born in Canada.
After closer inspection of the names you list as Canadians, I realize that I don't know half of them and you were possibly being humorous. Guess I was too eager to trot out my geeky hockey knowledge. :)
Hey, hoser, watch out out there, you know. The great white north is rising, you know. How do you know that the USA isn't our jock strap? You better be wearing your hard cup if you put that thing on, hoser.
OK, I have tried to figure out "Camp Anawanna" and I give up.
I know "Oh wa ta gu siam" and "Oh wa ta nas siam," but not this one.
So at the risk of looking silly, please explain.
I know "Oh wa ta gu siam" and "Oh wa ta nas siam," but not this one.
So at the risk of looking silly, please explain.
# posted by 
: 2:56 PM
: 2:56 PM
Mike Modano is such a sissy, the USA traded him to Canada for Brett Hull.
Manute Bol is of course not Canadian. He is Australian.
Manute Bol is of course not Canadian. He is Australian.
Camp Anawanna was the camp from the old Nickelodeon show "Salute Your Shorts."
...which just happened to be the greatest show of Coco's childhood. :o)
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...which just happened to be the greatest show of Coco's childhood. :o)
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