Thursday, April 12, 2007
The worst exhibit in the history of Practice Court...
Today in minitrial I heard the always-fascinating case involving a reverse-sting operation against one Major Harris. (This actually is the name of a former West Virginia quarterback; I'm not sure how he ended up in mock trial problems). Anyways, one of the exhibits is a condom full of cocaine, which is then packaged inside a plastic bag containing a few more ounces of loose cocaine. Students create this exhibit in many different ways-- today's group wimped out and used a white toy balloon. Other groups seem to feel compelled to explain to me how they got the condom; ie "We borrowed it from a first year."
The worst, though, was one group that for some reason used a lubricated condom for the exhibit, which then got coated with the baking soda which was standing in for the cocaine. When a witness pulled it out of the bag, it was the sloppiest, most disgusting thing I had ever seen, and one of the jurors looked like she was going to hurl.
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Couldn't someone go to Target and buy a no-family pack? I mean, really, how repressed are we? On second thought, don't answer that. Yum, baking soda and lubricant. I think my libido just died.
First, why do only first years use condoms?
Second, wouldn't it be more embarrassing to bring in a non-lubricated condom? I mean, who has a non-lubricated condom just lying around the house? There are four kinds of people. The first kind accidentally bought the wrong condoms at some point and never made the mistake again. The second kind appreciates the different flavors. The third kind is allergic to lubricant and the fourth is someone that won't let herpes put a damper on their love life.
I for one would probably make the exhibit using a Magnum XXL and real cocaine . . . but that's just me. I like my exhibits to be authentic and if I was smuggling cocaine that's just how I'd do it.
And yea, when referring to a condom, if you could not say, "it was the sloppiest, most disgusting thing I had ever seen" I'd really appreciate that.
Second, wouldn't it be more embarrassing to bring in a non-lubricated condom? I mean, who has a non-lubricated condom just lying around the house? There are four kinds of people. The first kind accidentally bought the wrong condoms at some point and never made the mistake again. The second kind appreciates the different flavors. The third kind is allergic to lubricant and the fourth is someone that won't let herpes put a damper on their love life.
I for one would probably make the exhibit using a Magnum XXL and real cocaine . . . but that's just me. I like my exhibits to be authentic and if I was smuggling cocaine that's just how I'd do it.
And yea, when referring to a condom, if you could not say, "it was the sloppiest, most disgusting thing I had ever seen" I'd really appreciate that.
Speaking of exhibits, I used this blog as an exhibit in a deposition this evening. The case involves a website owner claiming that our client, who is not using its website for the same kind of business at all, has infringed the plaintiff's trademarks.
We want to show that no one visits the plaintiff's idiotic site. So I showed the witness this site and its visitor counter and asked him if he had an understanding of how it worked.
Fascinating, huh?
We want to show that no one visits the plaintiff's idiotic site. So I showed the witness this site and its visitor counter and asked him if he had an understanding of how it worked.
Fascinating, huh?
# posted by 
: 3:33 AM
: 3:33 AM
Reminds me of the episode of Extras in which Daniel Radcliffe randomly pulls out a condom to show how he's "ready," and Ricky Gervais calmly points out that he's unraveled it.
# posted by : 11:17 AM
: 11:17 AM
This was my case in practice court. I borrowed a Tuxedo condom (yes colored like a tuxedo) from a law school classmate who shall remain nameless. I don't even have a clue where you would buy those things!
# posted by : 1:04 PM
: 1:04 PM
Magnum XXL? So the defendant can fit more coke in the space left over?
...ewwwwwwwwww!!!
P.S.: Heck, we undergrads give each other condoms as birthday presents. The problem is that we're a bunch of typical Baylor prudes and nobody uses them, so it's the same box of condoms that's been re-gifted throughout the entire class of '08.
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...ewwwwwwwwww!!!
P.S.: Heck, we undergrads give each other condoms as birthday presents. The problem is that we're a bunch of typical Baylor prudes and nobody uses them, so it's the same box of condoms that's been re-gifted throughout the entire class of '08.
# posted by : 9:36 PM
: 9:36 PM << Home
