Osler's Razor

You got all excited about the whole discussion of "Lampin" and decided you wanted to emulate your heor, Flava Flav. Or is it Flavor Flav?

Is Prof Bates your Chuck D?
 

"Osler, seen pictured, wanted to re-inact the famous ending of "Planet of the Apes" but lacking both Charlton Heston's chisled expression, acting talent, and pieces of the Statue of Liberty, chose to improvise with a cocky smile, no acting, and a clock he bought at the Statue of Liberty. He was later escorted from the beach for threating tourists with the timepiece."
 

If Osler was going to style with a clock around his neck, I'm glad to see it is a New York Times clock. It is the clock of record.
 

By bringing east coast time to the west coast, he is obviously trying to heal the wounds from the east coast-west coast rap feud involving 2pac and Biggie from so long ago. Well done sir, well done.
 

"Like Jason Blair, Osler makes it up as he goes along."

-B
 

It's time to:
Kick butt in Mock Trail
Apply more sunscreen
Call yer Mama
Buy new shoes
Rethink career as "Rappin' White Guy"
 

I agree with Andrew. Osler is healing the wounds of the East/West Coast rap feud while representing the "Dirty South" rap influences of Trick Daddy, Master P, OutKast, Ludacris and others to the West Coast.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_rap
 

Take time for the beach. OR, to the beach.
 

It's simpler. One of those vans pulled up beside him while at the beach and out jumped ten kids who said they were selling magazines and newspapers for a "fundraiser." Osler, being the sucker for a good story, bought himself a subscription to the Times, and got a free clock as a thank you gift. The kids then jumped back into the van and went off to score some heroin or meth in Long Beach.
 

1. You are staying at some hotel with funky decor and you swiped it from the wall over the sink;

2. You have a clock fetish or a NY Times fetish and you brought it with you, your favorite must-have travel gadget;

3. It washed up on the shore from some freighter, tossed aside from the captain's wife who went shopping in Times Square when the ship stopped in port in NYC.

Maybe I'll think of some others.
 

"Dear, I like the watch, but I think overestimated the size of my wrist."
 

It could be that someone (the opposing mock trial team?)challenged Osler to a duel at high noon. His weaker opponent did not show up, so Osler took a picture as a momento that he showed up, on time, like a man.
 

When you say there is a good story behind this one I feel you're lying. Good stories generally require one or more vices and a woman of ill-repute. This story involves a clock.

Assuming you aren't lying, I can only guess you were drinking on the beach when a mermaid came out of nowhere and handed you the clock.

Assuming you are lying, I'll guess you found the clock on the ground and took a picture with it whilst saying, "A NY Times clock in L.A. That's HILLARIOUS!!!!"
 

Um, no. Swanburg, the story is true, and is less interesting than your first example, but more interesting than the second. But, not that "hillarious."
 

My guess is that it is

MORE INTERESTING THAN:

Anonymous
Swiss Girl 1 and 2
Misty Keene 2
my idea

but

LESS INTERESTING THAN:

Andrew/Misty Keene 2
Brian McKinney
Swiss Girl 3.. but just barely
 

"Using only this New York Times clock, a seagull feather, and the nylon band I use to make sure my sunglasses don't fall off my face, I will create an atmosphere cooler to single-handedly ward off global warming. Eat your heart out MacGyver!"
 

Okay, here is the real story--

I walked down to the World News newstand down off Main Beach here in Laguna Beach. Oddly, they are having a "Grand Reopening," despite the fact they have been open in that location for the past five years I have come out here.

Anyways, I do to buy the New York Times, and hand the guy a buck. He hands me the paper and asks if I would like a clock or a teddy bear or maybe a pen. I'm kind of taken aback by this-- it's not like I was subscribing.

So I take the clock. Later, a guy on the beach suggested that he gives this swag to homeless guys so they can resell it.

Which means... I look homeless?
 

No, you looked like you were gullible enough to help him get rid of the useless crap he had stacked up at his newsstand. Kind of like how we used to give away the crappy records no one wanted at WCWM, but pretended like we were really doing someone a HUGE favor by letting them have an ABC 12" single.
 

I sold that 12" ABC picture-disk for $430 on ebay last year.
 

Hmm. Maybe I should check out some of those of WCWM discs in my basement.