Saturday, January 20, 2007
SoTheBearSays is gettin' hitched!
Our own Baylor Uber-Blogger, Chris Fahrentrother, gets married today in Dallas to the lovely, talented, and apparently tolerant Julie Sammer. Though in the past I have suggested that Mr. Flarenblogger may be the Antichrist, plotting genocide, creating murderous robot-hookers, and urinating on the elderly, secretly I like and admire him. I was just saying all of those well-substantiated things in the heat of a fierce campaign.
I wonder if he will sing "Feelings" at the reception?
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I initially contacted a local agency claiming to specialize in bachelor parties. When I told them the event was for a pretentious writer, turned blogger, turned lawyer, turned writer, turned husband; they recommended the avant-gard package.
It sounded perfect until I discovered it wasn’t so much avant-gard as it was bestiality but we’ll get em next time.
More importantly, use your time at the altar wisely. There is a time and a place for everything and if your nuptials don’t sound vaguely similar to a law school commencement speech, well, I’ll be more than disappointed.
Congrats on the marriage. If you ever get a job, the tax / insurance benefits will be terrific.
It sounded perfect until I discovered it wasn’t so much avant-gard as it was bestiality but we’ll get em next time.
More importantly, use your time at the altar wisely. There is a time and a place for everything and if your nuptials don’t sound vaguely similar to a law school commencement speech, well, I’ll be more than disappointed.
Congrats on the marriage. If you ever get a job, the tax / insurance benefits will be terrific.
Hey, now. Bestiality isn't so bad, as long as you make sure it's one of those high-class outfits that use javelinas instead of lesser hooved ungulates.
BID. The cheap option is to spike the coke machine in Collins with everclear and see what happens from there.
BID. The cheap option is to spike the coke machine in Collins with everclear and see what happens from there.
I went out of my way to look up "javelinas" and strongly recommend nobody does the same.
The creature looks like an Anti-Drug commercial for pigs, really:
"Roll around in too much excrement and you'll start looking like this guy." [Holds up a picture of a javelina]
But the Collins idea, besides being morally reprehensible, has some promise.
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The creature looks like an Anti-Drug commercial for pigs, really:
"Roll around in too much excrement and you'll start looking like this guy." [Holds up a picture of a javelina]
But the Collins idea, besides being morally reprehensible, has some promise.
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