Friday, January 26, 2007
Listen, to what the Haiku people say (it's Friday!)
It seems that there are some sites that take haiku pretty seriously. Here, we just, uh, do our best.
SInce this is finals week, I guess we should have a prize again. How about... yet another nicely framed photo of Prof. Bates, perfect for your den or rec room? That should do it.
As always, make your own in the comments section-- 5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables.
As for this week's starter Haiku, I offer this:
Metal memories--
The drummers, who all died;
But, that's nitpicking...
Other acceptable topics:
1) Profs serving breakfast
2) Tom Brady
3) Finals and food
4) band lists
5) Tydwbleach's job search
6) The duality of man
7) Penguins
8) Practice Court either ending or starting
9) Bates as the mascot for a professional sports team
Comments:
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Beautiful brisk day
Clear sky, bright sun, manhole steam
Winter should be this
Raging Heteros
Spinal Tap-not on the list
So I guess they're safe
Clear sky, bright sun, manhole steam
Winter should be this
Raging Heteros
Spinal Tap-not on the list
So I guess they're safe
Want to buy absinthe,
Not sure if it is legal,
PC starting soon.
Peyton Manning sucks,
Laser-rocket arm really?
Every pass wobbles.
Not sure if it is legal,
PC starting soon.
Peyton Manning sucks,
Laser-rocket arm really?
Every pass wobbles.
Trying to study
Assault is giving way to
Wizard of Oz tunes
Oh no! Not Garland!
"Gay" is a slippery slope
and I fell - who knew?
Assault is giving way to
Wizard of Oz tunes
Oh no! Not Garland!
"Gay" is a slippery slope
and I fell - who knew?
time for a hair cut
though osler was my excuse
PC starting soon
how short should i go?
id like to look like james bond
but so did swanburg...
though osler was my excuse
PC starting soon
how short should i go?
id like to look like james bond
but so did swanburg...
pc done? so soon?
after tomorrow’s trial
i can sleep again.
spring pc victims
don’t dress up or down. wear black,
often (good luck yall)
after tomorrow’s trial
i can sleep again.
spring pc victims
don’t dress up or down. wear black,
often (good luck yall)
Hate the Moody Blues.
Reminds me of ex boyfriend.
Off the charts Icky.
Assaulted by my
radio. Why, cruel box?
Switched to NPR
My Grandmother's pearls
I wear today. Two strands - old
lady-ish, but nice.
My Toddler's killing
me. Yogurt cannot touch the
fruit. Dog enjoyed fruit.
I had working mom.
Ate Stoufffer's daily. No one
cut fresh fruit for me.
Mom very bad cook.
If fruit touched yogurt, who cared?
Spencer is a brat.
Reminds me of ex boyfriend.
Off the charts Icky.
Assaulted by my
radio. Why, cruel box?
Switched to NPR
My Grandmother's pearls
I wear today. Two strands - old
lady-ish, but nice.
My Toddler's killing
me. Yogurt cannot touch the
fruit. Dog enjoyed fruit.
I had working mom.
Ate Stoufffer's daily. No one
cut fresh fruit for me.
Mom very bad cook.
If fruit touched yogurt, who cared?
Spencer is a brat.
Dear piney woods clerk:
When your child is almost three they may ask to make them breakfast even though you are already late to work on the ONE DAY you work in a week.
You can still take the time to drop everything, cut up a mango, a banana and half a pineapple for them, and put it in a bowl so the two of you can enjoy breakfast together. However, DO NOT PUT THE YOGURT IN WITH THE FRUIT.
One thing I wish I had known before I had a baby:
Toddlers like to eat two foods: String cheese and bananas. There can be an organic chef at your Montessori preschool, as there is at mine, but the kid is only going to eat string cheese and bananas.
You can try to be creative...but they are creative as well. Peas are weapons, corn is ammo, chicken is dog food, mashed potatoes makes great finger paint. You can put smiley faces on the food, you can spell their name in green beans, you can put whipped cream on their milk... They will eat two things: STRING CHEESE AND BANANAS.
SO: join Costco, load up on both and just feed them that. Resistance is futile.
When your child is almost three they may ask to make them breakfast even though you are already late to work on the ONE DAY you work in a week.
You can still take the time to drop everything, cut up a mango, a banana and half a pineapple for them, and put it in a bowl so the two of you can enjoy breakfast together. However, DO NOT PUT THE YOGURT IN WITH THE FRUIT.
One thing I wish I had known before I had a baby:
Toddlers like to eat two foods: String cheese and bananas. There can be an organic chef at your Montessori preschool, as there is at mine, but the kid is only going to eat string cheese and bananas.
You can try to be creative...but they are creative as well. Peas are weapons, corn is ammo, chicken is dog food, mashed potatoes makes great finger paint. You can put smiley faces on the food, you can spell their name in green beans, you can put whipped cream on their milk... They will eat two things: STRING CHEESE AND BANANAS.
SO: join Costco, load up on both and just feed them that. Resistance is futile.
Gays only danger
To Moral Majority
Nothing else matters
Death comes to all men
PC comes to some; I think
The dead are lucky
Never really thought
I would ever reach this point
Where did the time go??
To Moral Majority
Nothing else matters
Death comes to all men
PC comes to some; I think
The dead are lucky
Never really thought
I would ever reach this point
Where did the time go??
tydwbleach--pearls aren't old ladyish, they're classic! (Unless you're a dude.)
Anyway, my humble haiku submissions about the Puffalumps I found on top of each other this morning:
Are Puffalumps gay?
Donnie Davies would be shocked
Of my two bunnies.
Awoke this morning
To a most horrible sight
Bunny-on-bunny.
My question is this:
Can Puffalumps be lesbos?
They sure like that tail.
There's a reason why
Pansy Division sang this:
"...we f@$% like bunnies!"
My poor Puffalumps
Baylor says they're doomed to Hell
But I think they're drunk.
Oh no! Drunk is bad?
Bunnies cannot win this one
Drunk or gay--both bad!
Anyway, my humble haiku submissions about the Puffalumps I found on top of each other this morning:
Are Puffalumps gay?
Donnie Davies would be shocked
Of my two bunnies.
Awoke this morning
To a most horrible sight
Bunny-on-bunny.
My question is this:
Can Puffalumps be lesbos?
They sure like that tail.
There's a reason why
Pansy Division sang this:
"...we f@$% like bunnies!"
My poor Puffalumps
Baylor says they're doomed to Hell
But I think they're drunk.
Oh no! Drunk is bad?
Bunnies cannot win this one
Drunk or gay--both bad!
Hey, yeah-- how come Pansy Division wasn't on the "Gay Bands" list? They would seem to, um, qualify.
IPlaw:
When little Mamie Eisenhower the Fourth starts eating, I reccommend a drop cloth in your kitchen, and a high chair made of plastic (instead of wood) - easier to hose down with the power washer in the back yard.
It is possible that you may never get out ALL of the food that flies during this period. (We still have remnants of Thanksgiving 2005 on the ceiling. Apparantly he was trying to make Stalactites out of the pureed sweet potatoes. In this situation the best course of action is simply to move. A new house gives you a fresh start.
One day, allegedly, we will look back fondly on these crazy toddler days, but right now, it is hard to see the forest for the trees. Especially when you find your Palm Pilot in the freezer. Parenthood is very humbling. It is a hard, hard thing to look back at the end of your day and know that even though you are 42, a three year old kicked your ass.
When little Mamie Eisenhower the Fourth starts eating, I reccommend a drop cloth in your kitchen, and a high chair made of plastic (instead of wood) - easier to hose down with the power washer in the back yard.
It is possible that you may never get out ALL of the food that flies during this period. (We still have remnants of Thanksgiving 2005 on the ceiling. Apparantly he was trying to make Stalactites out of the pureed sweet potatoes. In this situation the best course of action is simply to move. A new house gives you a fresh start.
One day, allegedly, we will look back fondly on these crazy toddler days, but right now, it is hard to see the forest for the trees. Especially when you find your Palm Pilot in the freezer. Parenthood is very humbling. It is a hard, hard thing to look back at the end of your day and know that even though you are 42, a three year old kicked your ass.
Kri rty no kry vron!
(To save the world, where dreams dance)
Li Kobayashi!!!!!
P.S. If you see a downed power line, eat a lot of hot dogs very quickly!
(To save the world, where dreams dance)
Li Kobayashi!!!!!
P.S. If you see a downed power line, eat a lot of hot dogs very quickly!
My first haiku attempt - deeply felt...
Powell - you for real?
Write a jury charge from scratch?
It's called "PJC"
Powell - you for real?
Write a jury charge from scratch?
It's called "PJC"
re: Pansy Division--perhaps queercore counts as being too gay for the gays? As in, they're so gay, they're straight?
Bwahahahaha! That makes a lot of sense...*rolls eyes*
Bwahahahaha! That makes a lot of sense...*rolls eyes*
Thanks Tyd...I'm just trying to get the little booger out right now! but string cheese and bananas- got it!
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