Wednesday, January 03, 2007

 

How My Mom Made Me Eat Clothing

When I was a kid, my mom often read to me a Christmas book called "Granny Glittens and the Amazing Mittens." What was amazing about the mittens was that they were edible. For example, the black ones tasted like licorice.

As a result of this book, it now takes a great deal of willpower for me not to bite woolen mittens whenever I see them, just to see how they taste. I will admit to having succumbed a few times, even very recently, to that temptation.

This is one good reason to live in Texas-- there aren't many mittens around!

Comments:
the first time i read that, my brain read "kittens" instead of mittens.
 
Mmmmmmmmmm kittens. . . . delicious.
 
You know, mittens soaked in fresh snow aren't too bad, especially if they are 100% wool. But you don't really "eat" them, you just sort of suck on them. Kinda tasty. Reminds me of a wool popcicle.
 
The problem is once you start sucking your mittens, you can't stop. The warmth of your mouth is fine, but once you put your hand down the wet wool gets COLD quick!

I have never been tempted to suck anyone else's mittens myself.

You guys should probably stay in Texas. I heard a report on NPR the other night that said these kinds of desires just get worse with age.
 
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