Saturday, January 27, 2007
And The Osler For Writing Goes To...
[nervous titters, gentle rustle of satin, envelope ripping...] Tydwbleach! It is hard to ignore her talent, and hard to believe she not only is not in law school, but lives thousands of miles away in an RV community. She is seriously in the running to replace the sadly-absent Erma Bombeck as chronicler of domestic chaos. The following is just a smattering of her observations:
Tyd on kid cuisine: "Peas are weapons, corn is ammo, chicken is dog food, mashed potatoes make great finger paint. You can put smiley faces on the food, you can spell their name in green beans, you can put whipped cream on their milk... They will eat two things: STRING CHEESE AND BANANAS."
Tyd on job interviews: "I might just take that RV parts sales job if they offer it. It seems kind of fun and everyone there was really fun and nice. However, I am getting REALLLLy tired of going on interviews. Today I was asked what three things I would take with me on a desert island. I wanted to say my TRUE, REAL answer - gummy bears, TIVO and crystal meth, but I thought it might make a bad impression."
Tyd on Gerald Ford: "What is interesting to me is that Gerald Ford was constantly made fun of on SNL when he was in office. However, later on, more than half of those people ended up at one time or another spending extended periods in his wife's treatment facility - most notably Chevy Chase, who will be forever linked with Gerald Ford by his imitation of him. It was this imitation, falling off of stairs and ladders and podiums that led to the back injuries that led him to abuse prescription pain relievers, and the addiction to the pills landed him in the Betty Ford Treatment Center."
Seriously, that is excellent writing, that reflects a wonderful sense of humor and a great sense of self (which is key to any kind of humorous writing). The first quote is just a great bit of description. The second is flat-out hilarious, because you can't help but imagine that job interview (and no, I don't think she is really a meth user-- it's just a good use of exaggeration), and the third is a bit of history I didn't know, and perfectly reflected the theme of redemption that marked Ford's public life.
Stay with us, Tyd!
Comments:
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Tyd. I have some advice about the whole kid thing. Have more kids. I mean it. A couple more kids. Then total and complete chaos will reign in your house. You will no longer notice the misdeeds of a single child. The whole power dynamic changes. Instead of trying to control behavior, you just find places to exist within the world that they rule. Surrender to the power of the younger generation.
# posted by 
: 2:12 PM
: 2:12 PM
I still only eat cheese and bananas. I've moved on to deli cheeses, though...maybe a nice gruyere or chavrie...but the basic idea is still there.
--token undergrad
--token undergrad
Hmmm, I think I was at that party. It looks somewhat familiar. Where was Tydwbleach?
# posted by : 4:36 PM
: 4:36 PM
as much as i, ummm, appreciate? u putting a random pic of me on ur blog, i would also appreciate an addendum clarifying that i am NOT tydwbleach. and neither is anne for the matter. unless anne has recently had some kids.
oh, and if u happen to have any other good pics from the wedding, maybe u could email them to me??? thanks! :)
oh, and if u happen to have any other good pics from the wedding, maybe u could email them to me??? thanks! :)
# posted by : 12:39 AM
: 12:39 AM
Tyd--maybe you should apply for jobs in international schools. They're usually run by Brits, who are much less uptight than Americans when interviewing you. They don't give a s*** about the three things you'd bring with you on a desert island, or your five-year or ten-year plan, because they know most foreigners will move on after two or three years to another place.
My first interview was over the phone with an international school in India, and the British headmaster basically wanted to know if I could think and speak and wasn't sick very often. It helps if they're desperate, too, so pick a place where not many people go. I guarantee you the end of the stupid-interview questions! And you can bring your husband and your son, too.
My first interview
My first interview was over the phone with an international school in India, and the British headmaster basically wanted to know if I could think and speak and wasn't sick very often. It helps if they're desperate, too, so pick a place where not many people go. I guarantee you the end of the stupid-interview questions! And you can bring your husband and your son, too.
My first interview
# posted by : 9:18 AM
: 9:18 AM
To the viewing public:
Neither Paria nor Anne McKinney (pictured in the post) will admit to being Tydwbleach. Since they don't live in Oregon, I believe them.
I put the picture on there to convey the general festiveness of the annual Osler awards ceremony.
Neither Paria nor Anne McKinney (pictured in the post) will admit to being Tydwbleach. Since they don't live in Oregon, I believe them.
I put the picture on there to convey the general festiveness of the annual Osler awards ceremony.
1. Who? ME?????
2. Seriously.... ME??
3. Osler: This is so unexpected. I have so many people to thank. First of all, a Blog Commenter is only as good as the Blog Host. A big Thank You goes out to Osler, who has the best blog in the universe, complete with Haiku Friday and Federal Sentencing Guidelines insight. Also IPLAWGUY, and you know who you are... I could not have done this without you.
4. And again, to Osler. I have enjoyed meeting you and reading your blog SO MUCH. You are SO MUCH more fun than you brother.
5. I am NOT having more kids. I cannot believe anyone does this twice.
6. I do live in Oregon. But I do not live in an RV park. My family and I live in a giant 2500 square foot Hot Dog Mobile on an estate called "Casa De Kielbasa" in rural Oregon. However after this great honor... I am moving to Waco and enrolling in Baylor Law School. See You Monday in class, Professor Osler.
7. I know! I know! I hear the music - they are telling me to wrap it up... Osler, seriously I have always thought you were brilliant - I mean since like 1982!!!! I cannot be the only one. So even though I think you may have suffered a blow to the head, I thank you very, very much.
If only I could find a JOB being a blog commenter.
2. Seriously.... ME??
3. Osler: This is so unexpected. I have so many people to thank. First of all, a Blog Commenter is only as good as the Blog Host. A big Thank You goes out to Osler, who has the best blog in the universe, complete with Haiku Friday and Federal Sentencing Guidelines insight. Also IPLAWGUY, and you know who you are... I could not have done this without you.
4. And again, to Osler. I have enjoyed meeting you and reading your blog SO MUCH. You are SO MUCH more fun than you brother.
5. I am NOT having more kids. I cannot believe anyone does this twice.
6. I do live in Oregon. But I do not live in an RV park. My family and I live in a giant 2500 square foot Hot Dog Mobile on an estate called "Casa De Kielbasa" in rural Oregon. However after this great honor... I am moving to Waco and enrolling in Baylor Law School. See You Monday in class, Professor Osler.
7. I know! I know! I hear the music - they are telling me to wrap it up... Osler, seriously I have always thought you were brilliant - I mean since like 1982!!!! I cannot be the only one. So even though I think you may have suffered a blow to the head, I thank you very, very much.
If only I could find a JOB being a blog commenter.
# posted by : 12:39 PM
: 12:39 PM
1. Who? ME?????
2. Seriously.... ME??
3. Osler: This is so unexpected. I have so many people to thank. First of all, a Blog Commenter is only as good as the Blog Host. A big Thank You goes out to Osler, who has the best blog in the universe, complete with Haiku Friday and Federal Sentencing Guidelines insight. Also IPLAWGUY, and you know who you are... I could not have done this without you.
4. And again, to Osler. I have enjoyed meeting you and reading your blog SO MUCH. You are SO MUCH more fun than you brother.
5. I am NOT having more kids. I cannot believe anyone does this twice.
6. I do live in Oregon. But I do not live in an RV park. My family and I live in a giant 2500 square foot Hot Dog Mobile on an estate called "Casa De Kielbasa" in rural Oregon. However after this great honor... I am moving to Waco and enrolling in Baylor Law School. See You Monday in class, Professor Osler.
7. I know! I know! I hear the music - they are telling me to wrap it up... Osler, seriously I have always thought you were brilliant - I mean since like 1982!!!! I cannot be the only one. So even though I think you may have suffered a blow to the head, I thank you very, very much.
If only I could find a JOB being a blog commenter.
2. Seriously.... ME??
3. Osler: This is so unexpected. I have so many people to thank. First of all, a Blog Commenter is only as good as the Blog Host. A big Thank You goes out to Osler, who has the best blog in the universe, complete with Haiku Friday and Federal Sentencing Guidelines insight. Also IPLAWGUY, and you know who you are... I could not have done this without you.
4. And again, to Osler. I have enjoyed meeting you and reading your blog SO MUCH. You are SO MUCH more fun than you brother.
5. I am NOT having more kids. I cannot believe anyone does this twice.
6. I do live in Oregon. But I do not live in an RV park. My family and I live in a giant 2500 square foot Hot Dog Mobile on an estate called "Casa De Kielbasa" in rural Oregon. However after this great honor... I am moving to Waco and enrolling in Baylor Law School. See You Monday in class, Professor Osler.
7. I know! I know! I hear the music - they are telling me to wrap it up... Osler, seriously I have always thought you were brilliant - I mean since like 1982!!!! I cannot be the only one. So even though I think you may have suffered a blow to the head, I thank you very, very much.
If only I could find a JOB being a blog commenter.
# posted by : 12:40 PM
: 12:40 PM
All this kid advice is scaring me...seriously people there's no turning back for me at this point!
# posted by : 1:53 PM
: 1:53 PM
Piney woods:
The first year is a piece of cake, except for the lack of sleep. They are totally PORTABLE!!!! You get one of those BABY PURSES that holds the kid and you just lug it everywhere They sleep 90% of the time anyway!
Its when they are toddlers and they can move around like NINJA BABIES that they get into stuff. Don't worry, you sort of figure out as you go along. You always feel like you are doing something wrong, but then you talk to other parents and everyone has a kid who is doing SOMETHING weird.
If you are really worried take a parenting class. For a while its like you were in a tornado, but after all of the dust settles and things get SORT OF back to normal you will hardly even remember your life without them. After a while you will look in the mirror at yourself and not even notice that you are covered in bananas.
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The first year is a piece of cake, except for the lack of sleep. They are totally PORTABLE!!!! You get one of those BABY PURSES that holds the kid and you just lug it everywhere They sleep 90% of the time anyway!
Its when they are toddlers and they can move around like NINJA BABIES that they get into stuff. Don't worry, you sort of figure out as you go along. You always feel like you are doing something wrong, but then you talk to other parents and everyone has a kid who is doing SOMETHING weird.
If you are really worried take a parenting class. For a while its like you were in a tornado, but after all of the dust settles and things get SORT OF back to normal you will hardly even remember your life without them. After a while you will look in the mirror at yourself and not even notice that you are covered in bananas.
# posted by : 9:06 PM
: 9:06 PM << Home
