Osler's Razor

I heard somewhere that professors of ethics are bound to internet-posted pronouncements and are excepted from the protection of any sort of parody/satire principle. Just something I heard. Checks can be made out to either the campaign or myself. My campaign is spelled "Chris Fahrenthold."
 

Rats. I did the name wrong on the check. Again.
 

Swanburg: Fresh set of bed sheets.
 

Don't put a card at the bottom, because it'll be really embarrassing when I forget to take it out when I re-gift. Why can't the bucket be for spit up and poopy diapers? I can handle anything that babies produce except for the boogers - makes me sick every time.

I can see myself with my own children - soothing, serene and maternal while they're vomiting all over me, but freaking out and running away at the first glimpse of mucus. That's why God invented dads - to scare boyfriends and take care of mucus.
 

The boogers etc do not bother me. The thing I cannot stand that my 2.5 year old does is this: He will take a bite of my food, whatever it is. I always let him because it is good to let him try new things. BUT if he does not like it he will REMOVE it from his mouth, put it in his hand and then place it back onto my plate. SO For example, we went to Red Robin restaurant, (I call it DWD Denny's With Drinks) and he wanted to try my chili. I gave him some and he decided that he did not like it.. so he took it out of his mouth and placed the wad of ABC chili BACK INTO my bowl.

THAT I could live without.

OH and I will have you know that I do not need a big wreath for my Megavan this year, as I have strapped a giant lighted Santa Sleigh and Reindeer to the roof, and a big inflatable Penguin to the hood. It is a little hard to see and I did have some trouble at the bank drive thru but they are not going to press charges. It is quite festive.
 

I say Bates gets a straightening iron, Prof. CivPro gets a puppy picture book, Prof. LARC I gets a new sword, Prof. CrimLaw gets a rock pet to talk to, Prof. Property gets a pair of moon shoes, to help her write higher up on the board, Prof. LAPP gets miming lessons, and Prof. Torts II gets a festive tie.

And I would like a Bentley Continental GT and/or a fresh set of bed sheets.
 

A list without a Puffalump? For shame, for shame!