Saturday, April 24, 2010


My Wrestling Name

I'm thinking that if I have some time later this summer, I may take up pro wrestling. Here are the leading contenders for my "wrestling name"--

1) The Razor
2) The Sentencer
3) The Ruthless Panda
4) The Ex-Prosecutor
5) David K'Rush (a Branch Davidian Reference)


I always wanted to start a wrestling
tag team called "The Firm". You
would win the titles, and then
whenever you would lose you would
issue injunctions to force the team
that beat you to return the belts.
You could file fake lawsuits against
other wrestlers. You would be so

The Persecutor.
It's gotta be The Sentencer...
+1 for persecutor. The Lariat made the name your destiny.
Some more to consider...
1) "Professor Pain"
2) "Criminal Practice"
3) "The Objector"
4) "Mucho Macho Mark"

Also, would be fun to consider catchphrases the announcers could use on you after you deliver some sort of pile-driver move...
1) "Oooh, that's what they call prosecutorial discretion!"
2) "That was a motion to suppress-- his face!"
3) "That'll leave him begging for a plea bargain!"
4) "Ooooh, permission to treat the witness as hostile!"
5) "He may have written 'Jesus on Death Row,' but Jesus, that was a death blow!"

... anybody still reading at this point? ugh, I hope not.
Corporal Punishment.
The Confrontation Clause, Lethal Objection, the Racketeer, the Impeacher, Mapp-Quest, the Rochin Rambler.
The Brady Violator
Tonight coming to you live on pay-per-view: WRESTLEMANIA XVXXI


Objection: OVERRULED!
1. Ironsides
2. Brief Relief
3. Pooty
4. (and there are several I don't dare suggest)
Professor Punishment, the Long Arm of the Law.
Directed Verdict

The Polish word for prosecutor sounds cool phonetically - Procurator (Pro-koo-RA-tor). That one's taken though!
In the spirit of Hulk Hogan, here are a few, keeping your last name:

Nark Osler
Stark Osler
and especially
Dark Osler, or just "The Dark"
Wow... Dark Osler. I like it.
If you're going with Davidian references, it's hard to beat the Sinful Messiah.
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