Osler's Razor

Uh-oh...

2012-02-14T00:02:00.000-05:00

I really should be getting ready for my smack down with Susan Stabile on Wednesday (Faith and works- Booya!), but I just signed up for Netflix and am current on a total jag of watching every episode of The Office straight through.

Is this a worthwhile use of my time?

Coming up on Wednesday!

2012-02-13T09:50:00.002-05:00

On the heels of our prior debates on creeds and saints, this Wednesday Susan Stabile and I will take on the topic of "Faith and Works." In short, I am for them and (from what I understand) she is against them.

The event takes place at 12:30 Wednesday in Room 458 at the Law School. You can RSVP to Bethany Fletcher at moel1755@stthomas.edu. Lunch will be served, and there will also be a monster truck rally afterwards.

Haiku winner: The medievalist!

2012-02-13T00:01:00.000-05:00

What a week! I am exhausted. I played a lot of hockey this weekend down in Arden Park, and the work week was jammed as well-- including our presentation of the Trial of Christ in Cambridge, Mass. on Tuesday, which was wonderful.

And our haiku winner? None other than the Spanish Medievalist, for this take on "A Movie I would like to make:"

Marx and Costello,
Marilyn and Russell do
whatever they want.

I chose his because... well, I really want to see that movie!

And now for his bio:

The Spanish Medievalist was born and raised in a small town in Minnesota. This was unusual, as he spoke only Spanish and was raised by two Medieval Spaniards, Francisco and Maria. The had ended up in this town (St. Peter's) through some fluke in a time machine built by Da Vinci, who seized them as they were touring Italy and conducted an experiment on them-- an experiment which went terribly wrong.

The Medievalist's childhood was satisfying but odd. For example, he was the small-school state champion in the sport of nordic skiing, despite being relatively slow. He was, however, armed with a lance and musket, and waves of forfeited matches and fallen skiers led to his victories. He also was state champion in the forensic arts, but again his physical attacks on opponents while wearing a full suit of armor had much to do with the outcome. He was also valedictorian of his high school, an honor he celebrated by topping off the ceremony with an attack on his opponents using his falcon, Bitey.

And now he has turned to haiku. All hail the Spanish Medievalist!

Sunday Reflection: The Truest Insult

2012-02-12T00:01:00.005-05:00

When I was in my first year at Yale Law School, most of us felt like the admission department's mistake. The talents and experiences of the 160-odd people in that group were overwhelming, and we knew that we were supposed to go on to do great things. The stone stairways of the school were worn down in the middle of each broad gray stair, the gentle depressions created by the footfalls of those who had come before us-- the brave and the great and the tragic and the lost, all of them memorable. The air was heavy with intrigue and expectation.

Of course, we spent a lot of time analyzing one another, having been thrown together in a hat this way. We ventured speculations on little information, deducing facts about people we did not yet know, who were from places I had never seen-- Brooklyn and South Texas and Los Angeles. But still, we had opinions.

It was in the midst of this that one of my classmates described me (outside of my presence) as "The smartest kid in Lake Woebegon."

I knew that (at least in part) it was meant as an insult-- that I was not sophisticated in the way that the people from New York and Washington were. Still, I took no offense. It was pretty much true (except the "smartest" part) and settled on me like a favorite shirt still warm from the dryer. I was flattered, because the description (like all the best compliments) was a mixture of truth and hyperbole.

What the person who called me "The smartest kid in Lake Woebegon" probably did not know is that I had grown up listening to Garrison Keillor tell stories about that place on Prairie Home Companion. My dad would tape the shows and dump them in a shoe box and bring them along on long car trips. It is a wonderful memory my siblings and I share: dusk coming down, in the van out on some two-lane road, and listening to one of those stories. It was a town where I would fit in: People are a little goofy, they talk about church, they are open-hearted and surprising, and they have a bit of fear of what might lie over the next hill. The story would finish, a song would come on, and we would sing along with our own broken voices as the shadows grew long on green fields.

So, last night on Prairie Home Companion, Garrison Keillor wished me a happy birthday. (Thanks, Carrie Willard!).

I suppose that it might feel strange to hear my name on the radio, on this show I have always heard, but it just felt... right, like the shirt from the dryer, a good loose fit.

A week ago today, I sat in the sanctuary at Memorial Church at Harvard and looked up at the stone tablets on the wall. "Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Class of 1903," stared back at me. His feet had worn down the stone of the entry. But I felt comfortable there, too, because I wear that warm shirt everywhere, unashamedly, and if you say I am the smartest boy in Lake Woebegon, I will thank you and dip my head and mutter a protest at the word "smartest," because that is how we are, and were, and will be, at home or at Harvard.

Small town

2012-02-11T00:01:00.000-05:00

In some ways, I live in a small town. I walk through a park to get to the grocery store, and I see the same kids skating. Today I will take my car in to get an oil change, and I know the place well enough to know the routine. If it will take a while, I will leave it there and walk home.

Small towns sometimes are in big cities. One of my favorite poems ever, from the New Yorker was this (I remember every word, but not the author):

Boerum Hill
Used to be Gowanus;
When your butcher knows your name--
That's a neighborhood.

So perhaps I should go to the butcher's, as well.

Haiku Friday: The Movie I Want To Make

2012-02-10T00:01:00.000-05:00

We all have a movie we want to make. Personally, mine involves Newt Gingrich's moon colony, which goes out of control and then wages war against Earth. Here, I will describe it in a haiku:

My movie idea:
A moon colony gone wrong.
Title? "Luna Lovebad"

Let's haiku about that this week! Just make it 5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables, on the topic of your idea for a great movie.

If you win, you get your bio here on Monday!

Political Mayhem Thursday: The Primaries!

2012-02-09T00:01:00.003-05:00

[You can click on the map to enlarge it-- the map represents the results of 2008 Republican primaries, with McCain wins in green, Romney wins in yellow, and Huckabee wins in blue]

On Tuesday, three states (Minnesota, Missouri, and Colorado) had Republican primary contests which had one thing in common: They actually awarded no delegates. Nonetheless, it is significant that Rick Santorum won all three.

The first thing that strikes me about this is that for a party which (properly) trumpets the value of small government and restrained spending, they sure are blowing a lot of money on frivolous votes.

Beyond that, though, I do think these results bode poorly for Mitt Romney. What I see happening is that he can win large states like Florida through superior spending, but unless he can overwhelm people with advertising he does poorly because people just don't like the guy.

What's becoming apparent is that whoever the Republican nominee is will probably have less money to spend, and less Super-PAC support, than President Obama. Romney will not have that advantage in a general election.

Am I right? Do people just not like the guy?

Santorum!

2012-02-08T08:57:00.001-05:00

Hmmm... so Rick Santorum won Missouri, Colorado, and Minnesota last night. What happens now? Come back for a discussion tomorrow.

Coldplay stealing from Kraftwerk?

2012-02-07T00:04:00.001-05:00

Some of you, over the years, have made fun of my affection for the German band Kraftwerk. The critiques didn't "werk," though-- I'm still into the music of Florian and the boys from Dusseldorf.

Intriguingly, it appears that Coldplay is ripping off Kraftwerk-- with permission (according to the liner notes. Check it out:

First, Kraftwerk's Computer Love--

And now, Coldplay's Talk--

I will concede that Chris Martin is a far better singer than anyone in Kraftwerk (sorry, Wolfgang!). They even borrowed the whole "Robot" thing....

Haiku winner: Renee

2012-02-06T00:01:00.000-05:00

I am reprinting her winning haiku(s) below. It is, itself, her bio this time:

Disparaged her mind,
Housekeeping,kids...blazefire night
Kamikaze dreams.

The neighbor's troubles
He felt and fixed. Still his son
He punished like self.

He hid her glasses
Forgot or crushed holidays
Still she would not leave.

Her heart attack helped.
He drove slowly...farthest hospital
She would not die. Damn!

It was all her fault.
He needed someone more like
Him.His Problems solved.

And they were.While Mom
Lie in the stroke bed,hair white--
He found perfect wife.

Putrid well I knew--
Whence evil sprang. I could not
Hate him. Oh Daddy!

Sunday Reflection: The Simplest Truth

2012-02-05T00:01:00.001-05:00

Last week, on Sunday, I was on a ski lift with my sister. It was a perfect day in every way-- fresh snow, bright sun, cool but not cold, and I was out skiing with people who love it as much as I do.

On a ski lift, people talk, and Kathy said something so simple and true that it shook me up a little.

Like a lot of siblings, we are a lot the same and a lot different. Much of the difference is her being good in ways that I cannot be. For example, she is a social worker, and has the patience of a saint as she deals with her mentally ill clients. Her job is this: People who would be institutionalized for crimes or mental illness (the two are tangled up very often) get to live at home rather than prison or an institution, and she is paid by the state to visit them and make sure they are doing ok, do some art therapy with them, and monitor things like money and medication. It allows the clients freedom, and saves a lot of money for the state. I could never do that; I would last about 2 hours.

Kathy and I are different in our faith, too; she is not as "religious-y" as I am. That doesn't mean that she isn't just as thoughtful or engaged as I am-- her faith and ideas about spirituality go well beyond Unitarian Kitchen Dancing, and her life much more closely follows what Christ taught than mine does (whether she thinks of it that way or not).

So.... we're on the lift, and I she tells me about a few of her clients. Her stories are deep and rich and full of life; about people who are outcasts and confused, but who have these parts of their lives that make total sense in the midst of it all, this messy (often tragic) gorgeousness.

Imagining the danger of it, the dislocation, I asked her, "What do you tell them?"

She turned her head for a minute, looked at the trees pictured above, and said, "I tell them that God loves them. I tell them that God loves them just as they are."

Isn't that exactly what Jesus wants us to do, to love our neighbor, to reassure them?

Kathryn Elaine Osler may not be religious-y, but she is the best missionary I have ever met.

Glad I found This!

2012-02-04T00:01:00.002-05:00

As many of you know, I have long desired my own Yu Wan Mei device, but the price was too steep.

Then, today, while installing a new television (this one has color!), I found the device pictured above.

What the heck is it? Will it be as useful as the Yu Wan Mei device?

Haiku Friday: Villians

2012-02-03T00:01:00.000-05:00

What's life without villains? They make the heroes possible. Let's blog about them, today...

Here is mine:

Six years of evil
Medical school... so
Don't call him "Mister!"

Now it is your turn. 5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables is the recipe, and the winner gets their bio here on Monday!

Political Mayhem Thursday: Abortion (we had to get there someday, right?)

2012-02-02T00:01:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, I had this piece on CNN, which has generated more than a thousand comments over there. Let's have some here, too!

Here is the meat of the piece (as many of you know, the grandfather I describe is Tom Featherston of Baylor Law School):

We may disagree about whether life begins at conception, but it is now irrefutable that life is viable at 27 weeks. To deny this plainly observable fact is akin to denying the existence of evolution or global warming.

Much as Troy Davis (who was executed in Georgia last year despite troubling exculpatory evidence) and Hank Skinner (who received a stay of his execution in Texas to allow DNA testing to be pursued) personified the problems with the death penalty, there are those who do so just as starkly when we ponder late-term abortion.

For me, that person is named Rees. On a hot summer day in Waco, Texas, his proud grandfather carried him across the street for me to meet, months after his birth at about 24 weeks. His eyes were clear in the Texas sun, he was wrapped in a blue-and-white blanket, and he was surrounded by love.

He was, and is, a person, and that matters as much as Troy Davis and Hank Skinner.

Five great things about winter

2012-02-01T00:01:00.001-05:00

It's actually an odd winter here in Minnesota-- it has been oddly warm and there is not so much snow. Still, compared to Waco, it is an amazing thing to have this season settle in. I always loved the change of seasons, and as a kid there were some things about a Michigan winter that I dearly loved. Here are five of my favorites:

1) The quiet

Snow hushes everything; it's nature's librarian. There is something thrilling about walking alone or with a companion in the snow, the only sound being that little crunch of your own steps. In the morning, there is a certain stillness that is too rare in our lives.

2) The sports

Can I say this? I love all this ice and snow because it is so much fun. I love skating and pond hockey, I love nordic skiing, and I love downhill skiing. Within ten minutes of my house there are endless opportunities for cross-country skiing, a downhill area, a friggin' ski jump, and Edina's many little rinks, each with it's own warming hut.

3) The early evenings

It gets dark about 5:30 these days, and that is a form of permission to settle in and relax. Light a fire, read a book, linger over dinner... it's a very human pace.

4) The food

It's comfort food time-- casseroles, pasta, stuff with bacon... how can you not like that?

5) The holidays

Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day... these are days for celebration, feasting, and love. Spring and summer have holidays of war and death, but in the winter the light comes from within. How can you not love that?

Press Conference with a Pig (and a frog)

2012-01-31T14:49:00.000-05:00

Wanna be a Dean?

2012-01-31T00:01:00.001-05:00

I love my school. St. Thomas has been a fabulous place to work, and much of the reason for that is the groundwork laid by our Dean, Tom Mengler.

Tom always said that deans outlive their usefulness at about ten years, so it shouldn't have been a surprise when he announced his retirement, still on top of his game, at the cusp of ten years in office here (and that coming after 9 years as dean at Illinois).

This means, of course, that now we are looking for a dean. Interested? Check out the info here.

Now that's a sandwich!

2012-01-30T18:32:00.002-05:00

I just had to stop at this Culver's in Mauston, Wisconsin yesterday. It should be noted that the town motto there is "What's Shakin'?"

Haiku winner: Micah!

2012-01-30T00:01:00.001-05:00

Our winner this week, opining on the theme of the 100-Acre-Wood and its inhabitants, is Micah, who penned this entry:

What about Eeyore?
Cheney of the Wood... except
He can't hold a gun.

And now for the bio:

MICAH is a creation of cutting-edge computer scientists at the MIT artificial intelligence lab. Jealous of IBM's highly acclaimed "Watson" project (in which a computer was trained to win at the game show "Jeopardy"), the folks at MIT knew they had to come up with an answer, to show that they could create a similar computer able to deal with the complexities of human language and thought on its own terms.

That's where the MICAH ("Massachusett's Institute Computer Authored Haiku") project came in. Over four years, they were able to develop a prototype that now has reached the pinnacle of the haiku arts-- a Haiku Friday championship!

Sunday Reflection: The Cross

2012-01-29T00:02:00.000-05:00

There are two Craigs on this blog-- one of whom mentored me, and one of whom I like to imagine that I mentored. The former is Craig Anderson, who played a key role in the formation of what I find to be important, when I worked for him in Student Life. He wrote a beautiful piece in the Richmond Times-Dispatch yesterday, and this was at the core of it:

Every Sunday as I enter my church, I am greeted by a rendering of the crucified Christ upon the cross — a common image in many churches, in all its disturbing glory.

The cross upon which Christ was crucified is the dominant image of, for and about Christianity.

The cross and the crucifixion have several levels of meaning for Christians. On the most basic level, the image of the crucified Christ is an abject symbol of man's inhumanity to man, as well as the horrific outcome of capital punishment. A man sentenced to death and nailed to a cross for a slow, painful, public death.

That image of Christ on the cross, or the cross alone, has so many meanings, all of them deep. It is one of the things that I do when I inventory a church-- I look at the crosses they have, and what they have to say. There are bare wood ones, some merely draped, others bearing a simple figure, and many with a fully-formed and gruesome Christ on it.

If we see the cross in so many ways, should it be surprise (or bad) that we see his message in so many ways?

Another murder

2012-01-28T00:07:00.002-05:00

When I was a Rotary Club member back in Grosse Pointe, one of the core members of the club was Bob Bashara; he and his wife, Jane, were stalwarts of the community. It was with great sadness that I read about Jane's murder this week.

One thing I have learned in a career in criminal law is not to pick a murderer based on press reports. There are many levels to this story, it seems, and all of them are tragic. I hope that in the end the case is closed with the right person convicted, whether it is Bob or someone else.

Haiku Friday: Piglet!

2012-01-27T00:01:00.002-05:00

As wingmen go, Piglet is the ultimate. He's always upbeat, kinda goofy, never boring, and constantly supportive even when Pooh has dumb ideas. He's kind of the Joe Biden of the 100-Acre-Wood. (Plus, he is an excellent dancer). Today, I suggest we haiku about this fine mammal.

Here is mine:

Well, "'hullo, Piglet!"
Someday soon, we will get you
A nicer sweater!

Now it is your turn. You can actually haiku about any of the denizens of the 100-Acre Wood: Pooh, Christopher Robin, Eeyore, Thor, Rabbit, Ganja Pete, Kanga... whoever you want! If you win, you will get your bio here on Monday. So write!

Political Mayhem Thursday: State of our Union

2012-01-26T00:01:00.002-05:00

I loved Obama's speech on Tuesday night. I loved it for the same reasons I love the Reagan speech above-- it was positive, challenging, and embraced real values (albeit different values than Reagan's in some ways).

When did Republicans become such a bunch of grumps? John Boehner looked like he was passing a gallstone on Tuesday, and his statements were consistent with the All-negative All-the-time template that Republicans seem to have set out for themselves.

Hey, Republicans, we get it: You don't like Obama. Beyond that, what are you for? Here is a list:

1) Maintain low taxes for rich people.
2) Reduce regulations (ie, environmental or consumer protection rules) on business
3) Hating President Obama

Quite a platform!

I'll accept that there is more to Republican proposals than those three points-- but they aren't being heard. It's lost in the waves of scowling and muttering that dominate your messages. Meanwhile, the President did present a pretty broad set of ideas, whether you agree with them or not.

For all the reverence that Republicans display for Ronald Reagan, they seem to have lost any sense of what he was about. If they do not get a handle on that, they will lose another election this year, running as the party of "Get off my lawn!"

What a waste of a perfectly good chicken!

2012-01-25T00:01:00.000-05:00

My research assistant here at St. Thomas recently reported to me that in 7th century Rome, those convicted of murdering a parent were sentenced to death. Not just any death, either, but a very unusual one: The convict was placed in a sack with a rooster, a dog, a viper, and an ape, and then they were all drowned.

I've heard of some strange execution techniques (frankly, the current American technique of three drugs in sequence is pretty strange, in its own way), but this is the strangest.

This raises some very interesting questions:

1) Where did they get an ape in Rome?
2) What was the point of drowning extraneous animals with the convict?
3) What kind of project is this assistant researching, exactly?
4) Is it possible to consider this situation without thinking about McGyver?
5) How did the Romans finally get rid of this method of execution?
6) Which thing in the sack would live the longest?
7) What would RRL do?

It's the news! With a twist!

2012-01-24T00:01:00.002-05:00

Apparently, IPLawGuy is now getting all his news from China, and I think he is on to something. (Note: he continues to get his shirts from Italy, his indentured servants from Ireland, and his hats from Prussia). Check out this clip, which explains recent developments in the Republican nomination battle:

What other areas of the news deserve this treatment?

North Korea is fun again!

2012-01-23T21:37:00.000-05:00

In an oddly militaristic kind of way...

The winners: Renee and RRL!

2012-01-23T00:01:00.002-05:00

Here are the states that were proposed as the "best" on Friday:

Iowa
Kentucky
Massachussets (2)
Minnesota (2)
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
North Carolina
Oklahoma
Oregon
South Dakota
Texas (2)
Vermont
Virginia (Commonwealth of)
Wisconsin (2)

Here was Renee's finale:

New Mexico queen
Of states,Georgia O'Keefe praise
For grand spareness...art.

And RRL's:

You can go to hell...
I'm going to Texas. I
think that sums it up.

And now for the bios:

Because of a mail mix-up, RRL (born Rene Randolph Lemerson) and Renee received one another's mail for a period of seven years, from 1996-2003. During this time, Renee, an Edwardian lady-in-waiting stuck in an odd gap in the space-time continuum, received RRL's steady supply of work boots, punk rock sheet music, conservative PAC fundraising letters, and firearms. Meanwhile, RRL was flummoxed by the steady stream of fine women's hats, jodhpurs, walking sticks, and Elvis CD's.

Predictably, they eventually met to exchange several hundred pieces of mail. Choosing a place midway between Texas and Minnesota, they ended up planning a rendezvous in Memphis. The exchange, held at a blues bar on Beale Street, was amicable, though RRL initially tried to palm a few of the Elvis cd's. (Secretly, he also kept a pair of the jodhpurs, but that is best not discussed here). After a fine discussion, some dancing, a fair number of cocktails, and several dozen pork ribs, each returned home, happy for the encounter.

Sunday Reflection: For God's Sake

2012-01-22T00:01:00.002-05:00

Today I can write nothing better than what my friend and colleague Susan Stabile set out on her blog, Creo en Dios, yesterday, so I have pasted it in below. I would add that Susan is very much farther along that path than I am-- there's no doubt in my mind that I am far from living my life "for God's sake," and that for this is aspirational. Still, it is good to have an aspiration, right?

The other day I was back and forth with my friend Richard on e-mail about something. After I wrote a message explaining why the subject of our conversation was important to me, he responded, “Well, that and, you are an attorney, for God’s sake.” “Literally,” he added.

Although his intended use of “for God’s sake” in his sentence was as an exclamation for emphasis, I smiled at my friend’s wonderful afterthought. Although I am no longer a practicing lawyer, there is accuracy to the meaning conveyed by his phrase when one omits the comma from it: I am an Attorney for God’s Sake, as I am a Law Professor for God’s Sake, or a Retreat Director for God’s Sake, or any of the other descriptions I may use to explain my various roles.

If my life belongs to God, then there is no part of my life that is separate from my discipleship. Everything I am, everything do, is a response to God’s call. Everything I am and do is for God’s sake, for the furtherance of God’s plan for me and for the world.

And the same is true for you.

Who are you for God’s sake?

Oh, panda!

2012-01-21T00:14:00.000-05:00

Haiku Friday: The best state

2012-01-20T00:01:00.000-05:00

What is the best state of them all?

Sure (according to the song) Louisiana has the best coach, best team, and best ethics laws, but a lot of it is pretty depressing. So, let's hear some other opinions-- in haiku!

Here is mine:

Best state? It's Vermont!
Minnesota with mountains
And crazy people.

Now it is your turn! Just make it 5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables, and if you win, you will get your bio here on Monday!

Political Mayhem Thursday: Why should investments be taxed at a lower rate than income from working?

2012-01-19T00:02:00.001-05:00

It's late-- I'm just back from speaking at St. Mary's Episcopal Church in St. Paul, where I got great introductions from Bishop Brian Prior and Rector LeeAnne Watkins and had a wonderful time. It's a warm and loving church, which was a good thing on a cold, snowy night.

Now I'm home, though, and I'm fascinated by the story that Mitt Romney pays about 15% of his income in taxes. That's the same as the lowest rate overall on income from working-- for example, what low-paid teachers might pay.

How does that work? Put simply, Romney's income is mostly classified as "capital gains"-- that is, money earned from investing money. While the top rate on income from working is over 33%, the top rate for capital gains is 10%. In other words, you pay far less tax on money you earn from investments than you do from working.

I don't like the values behind this tax system-- I believe in the value of work, and think it should be taxed at the same or a lower rate than what people make from investments.

One argument for low capital gains taxes has always been that it "encourages investment." That makes no sense to me-- what else are people going to do with their wealth, other than invest it in one way or another?

New at the Huffington Post...

2012-01-18T18:07:00.002-05:00

I have a piece called "Why Religion Should Matter When You Vote," which you can see here.

I'm pretty sure this one won't be controversial.

Help Make a Film!

2012-01-18T00:01:00.001-05:00

One of the great parts of the weekend was spending some time with Joshua Rofe, a filmmaker who came out from LA to see the trial and meet some of us who are involved. He is currently raising money for a film about the Trial of Christ in Oklahoma this April.

It was fun to watch Josh watch the trial-- he was keeping an eye on the audience, and gauging their reaction.

If you are interested in the trial, please visit his kickstarter site, put the video trailer on your facebook page, and consider helping him out.

His goal is $40,000, and apparently it is all-or-nothing: Either he meets the goal or ends up with no funding.

Tomorrow!

2012-01-17T20:32:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow night, I'll be speaking about the civil discourse and the gay marriage amendment in Minnesota at St. Mary's Episcopal Church in St. Paul. (I like that on their home page, the event seems to be linked to something called the "Shoveler's Ball."). The event starts at 6 pm, and is co-sponsored by OutFront MN, Minnesotans United for All Families, and Episcopalians United for All Families.

Please come on out!

What a Trial!

2012-01-17T00:01:00.001-05:00

[click on an image to enlarge it]

On Sunday, we performed the Trial of Christ at Fourth Presbyterian Church in Chicago (pictured above), and I think it went very well. We got a great crowd, and the feedback has been tremendous. I loved the space for this... there was darkness and shadow and the sheer size was ominous. So many people in the church were wonderful hosts to us-- it is an amazing place.

For my opposing counsel, Jeanne Bishop, this was a special event, as Fourth Presbyterian is her home church. Here she in interviewing a witness on Saturday:

One of the great things about this version was that I got to have the assistance of not one, not two, but three of my students working with me on the project. Shown in the picture below are Phil Steger, Sara Sommervold, and Joy Tull. Phil, who is a second-year student at St. Thomas, reprised his role as Peter, and was masterful. Sara (also a 2L at St. Thomas) was second chair for the defense, and handled a direct and cross like a seasoned attorney. Joy, who was one of students at Baylor (she now works in Dallas) was my second chair and was excellent-- I'm going to try to rope her into doing it again. In addition, we had three excellent witnesses from 4th Church, and Circuit Court Judge Larry Axelrood presiding.

On Saturday, there was a wonderful party at the home of Jerry and Karen Johnson, where filmmaker Joshua Rofe got to talk about his project regarding the trial. I'll have more about that tomorrow...

Our Winner: Anonymous!

2012-01-16T11:40:00.005-05:00

There were many strange and wonderful entries last Friday for the haiku contest, on the topic of "what I wish I hadn't said." Our winner, though, by acclamation, is "anonymous," for this little ditty:

I wish I hadn't said
That I wanted fries with that
Forty thousand times.

And now for his biography:

Anonymous (pictured above) is a retired journeyman sportswriter now living in the Tampa Bay area. Sadly, he is completely immobilized, save for a once-a-month trip to Sam's Club for shopping, an excursion that requires an electric scooter to move his considerable girth.

For forty-three years, Anonymous ate at least two meals a day at a Hardee's Restaurant which was located next door to his home. It was during this time that he ate over two million french fries. When that restaurant closed, he was lost and confused, and took to eating various gumm products (ie, gummy bears, gummy worms) at every meal for another two years. Sadly, the side effects of gumm (which is a petroleum refining by-product) took a toll on his health, and he had to move to a different part of Tampa to be close to a different Hardee's location.

Yet, through it all, his poetic muse endured! All hail, Anonymous!

Sunday Reflection: The Dangerous Christ

2012-01-15T00:01:00.000-05:00

Today I am prosecuting Jesus again, and I have the same inner torment that goes with that. I am very careful in writing a closing, and painstaking about my preparation, and each moment seems to drain me of a few drops goodness. My critical thinking/prosecutor side turned against my faith is difficult for both.

It is hard to avoid the fact that Christ was dangerous-- dangerous to the institutions at the center of society (then and now), dangerous to power and wealth, dangerous to settledness and comfort. There is a way in which his message often seems to tear against what feels like the natural law... our natures lead us to comfort and safety, and he sends us out in the opposite direction. How can that be?

God does challenge our very natures through Christ. Realizing that shakes up every settled notion.

Snow

2012-01-14T10:10:00.002-05:00

I'm in Chicago today, getting ready for the Trial of Christ tomorrow at 12:30 at 4th Presbyterian Church on Michigan Ave. There is snow falling, and it was falling yesterday in Minneapolis, as well-- those big gorgeous flakes that drift down lazily.

People in Texas have a love-hate relationship with snow. There are a lot of great skiers in Texas, for example, and many others from there want to be cozy inside with the fireplace going while it is snowing outside. Yet, they think living in a place like this is kinda crazy.

I see the point. Driving in snow is dangerous and slow. The cold can chill you to the bone. All those clothes!

But still, on a morning like today....

Haiku Friday: Things you wish you hadn't said

2012-01-13T00:01:00.004-05:00

Today, let's haiku about things we shouldn't have said, or perhaps things that other people (politicians, parents, Mr. Rogers) shouldn't have said.

Here is mine:

I should have known that
The wrong person would hear me;
Meant that for Gordon.

Now it is your turn! The winner gets their bio here on Monday.

Political Mayhem Thursday II: The Haley Barbour Pardons

2012-01-12T08:58:00.003-05:00

UPDATE: I will be talking about these pardons tonight at 9 pm on Fox, Channel 9 here in the Twin Cities.

Fascinating!

It seemed a little odd when the ultimate DC insider, Haley Barbour, returned to his home state of Mississippi to run for governor. Barbour had been a highly successful head of the Republican National Committee in the 1990's, and found equal success as a lobbyist.

He won that race for governor, and then won re-election in 2007. Those inside-DC connections paid off for Mississippi when Katrina hit in 2005-- most observers think that Mississippi responded better and recovered faster than neighboring states (especially Louisiana).

Last week was his last in office, as he faced term limits. On his way out, he pardoned about 200 inmates, including 14 convicted of murder. Several of those murder convicts worked in the Governor's mansion. Now the (Democratic) Attorney General of the state is challenging the pardons because some did not meet a notice provision, and has refered to Gov. Barbour as "Boss Hogg."

If nothing else, this episode reveals something many criminal defense lawyers know well: That humanizing a convict to a key decision-maker can make all the difference.

Is there a problem here?

Political Mayhem Thursday I: Was Tina Fey fair to Sarah Palin?

2012-01-12T00:01:00.000-05:00

Here is what Tina Fey has to say about it:

"Some may argue that exploiting Governor Palin and her family helped bring attention to my low-rated TV show," writes Fey of 30 Rock, the NBC show that has struggled in the ratings despite critical acclaim.

Fey's comments appear in her new memoir, "Bossypants," an advance copy of which was obtained by USA Today.

"I am proud to say you are wrong," she continues. "My TV show still enjoys very low ratings. In fact, I think the Palin stuff may have hurt the TV show. Let's face it, between Alec Baldwin and me there is a certain fifty percent of the population who think we are pinko Commie monsters."

Excuse me, but... where did all the crime go?

2012-01-11T00:01:00.001-05:00

I was fascinated by this Doug Berman blog post, reporting on the steep drop in crime in Los Angeles.

How steep? Here's how steep: There is now less crime in that city, overall, than there was in 1957, the year Leave it To Beaver premiered. This, despite the addition of 1,500,000 people to the population!

In the same way that we often don't know what went wrong with crime, in this case we don't really know what went right. Population is up. Narcotics use is the same or greater. The economy is in the tank.

It's essential we find out the answer to that question-- what went right?-- if we are to replicate this remarkable success.

Coming up this Sunday...

2012-01-10T13:58:00.001-05:00

It's the Trial of Christ at Fourth Presbyterian Church in Chicago. You can get the details here.

Meanwhile, a previous Osler/Bishop clash mysteriously popped up on Youtube yesterday for the first time-- my 2009 testimony before the House Judiciary Committee vs. Jennifer Bishop-Jenkins:

Well, that's odd...

2012-01-10T00:08:00.000-05:00

It appears that Texas Fire Marshall Paul Maldonado, who defended the conviction and execution of Todd Willingham, resigned abruptly in December.

How abruptly? Well... check out his resignation note.

Oh, Texas...

Our winner: Mr. Robert Johnson!

2012-01-09T00:01:00.002-05:00

I was all set to award this week's prize to Bob, in large part because of his Bachman Turner Overdrive reference (I'm a sucker for anything related to BTO). But then Bob himself gave a shout-out to the golden last line of Robert Johnson's effort:

Romney/Rubio
That has a nice ring to it.
Mormon Schmormon, Yo!

And so, Mr. Johnson is our winner. As promised, here is a short and 110% accurate biography of the champion:

Robert Johnson is currently the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief of the McLennanan, which bills itself as "McLennan County's County Magazine." True to its promise, the McLennanan brings a monthly dose of all things McLennan, whether it is a bar fight in Lorena or an apparent nuclear explosion in McGregor. Somewhat more obscure is the way in which Mr. Johnson seized control of the magazine.

From 1886-2001, the McLennanan (originally known as the McLennaneran) was owned and operated by the Larson family of Clifton, Texas. In the later years of the Larson's ownership, it was apparent that things had slipped. On a regular basis, several pages of the magazine were blank but for a small message reading "this page intentionally left blank," while much of the remainder was filled with gun ads, poorly drawn comic strips submitted by area youths, and no small amount of locally-produced porn.

In 2001, Johnson was just finishing up his career in the military, where he served with the very secretive US Navy SEAL Team 7. Among other operations, Johnson was involved in the secret invasions of Cambodia, Canada, Aruba, and France, and was rumored to have been a part of the failed government operation against the cast of Three's Company in 1980. Done with his service and with time on his hands, Johnson returned to his home county and set his sights on the slack-jawed owners of the McLennanan.

With the aid of ten Kazak mercenaries, Johnson stormed the McLennanan offices on Valley Mills Road at dawn. Initially, the fighting was fierce as armed militants from National Tire and Battery and the H.E.B. grocery store joined the fray, but in the end Johnson and his men seized the offices and took control of the magazine. They suffered only a single gunshot wound to one of the mercenaries, which was quickly attended to by "Doc" Anderson in his nearby office (though this treatment led to a later and unfortunate addiction to cat tranquilizers).

Congratulations again to this week's winner, Mr. Robert Johnson!

Sunday Reflection: Religion and Politics

2012-01-08T00:01:00.000-05:00

One thing I find dispiriting about the Republican primaries is the way that the candidates talk about their faith. I'm not one of those, though, who thinks that politicians should not talk about their faith-- rather, I think they should talk about it more.

Here is what I mean by that: When Rick Santorum or Michelle Bachmann talk about gay marriage as a threat to Christianity, they lay it out as if that is an obvious conclusion. It isn't. Many Christians, including me, have come to the conclusion that state-sanctioned marriage for same-sex couples would be a good thing.

They should talk about this more-- specifically, they should describe how they get to such a position from the Gospels, which so often counsel love and tolerance between us, as judgment is left to God. Second, they should describe why this faith belief of theirs should be imposed on others who may or may not be Christians.

In the same way, Barack Obama needs to talk about his faith more. It's not enough to assert that he isn't a Muslim. Rather, he should talk openly and actively about his faith life, and how it informs his work. I also wish that Mitt Romney would speak plainly about his own faith. Being a Mormon is nothing to be ashamed of, and he needs to assert the primacy of that part of his life.

Sadly, I think religion is too often used as a prop, or something to attack. In reality, though, to people of faith, it is something that infuses all that we do with meaning. Leaving that color out of the picture they present of themselves is untrue and distorted, and we are owed the truth.

Sitting at the cool kids table

2012-01-07T00:05:00.000-05:00

I'm in DC for a few meetings-- the Association of American Law Schools and the Law Professors Christian Fellowship-- and the most interesting thing happened on Thursday night.

At the big meeting for the conference, one of the first orders of business was the admission of four new schools to the Association. It was like a form of Kabuki theater in its formality: First, the chair of the membership committee made a motion. Then a short speech was made. The Dean of that school would give a short talk and introduce his faculty, and after comments were solicited a public vote was taken.

It was one of those moments that I knew St. Thomas is the right place for me. The Kabuki theater proceeded as before, until about when the Dean was called upon to give his speech. Unlike some of the others, our dean, Tom Mengler, had a conversational, happy tone to his brief remarks, which led to some trash-talking and joking around with the president of AALS before the vote was taken.

St. Thomas is like that-- the cool kids table where the people who are confident and funny sit with whoever wants to join them. I have seen this again and again in settings where our faculty or students interact with others. There's a certain magic to it. I will see it again tomorrow when Susan Stabile speaks at the Law Profs. Christian Fellowship; I know that she will be challenging and funny and insightful in a way that marks her as one of us.

It's a good place to be.

Haiku Friday: Republicans!

2012-01-06T00:01:00.001-05:00

Since we are in the heat of the primaries, let's haiku about these colorful Republican candidates! You are allowed to haiku about any of them, including those who have already dropped out (i.e., Pawlenty, Bachmann, Trump, Cain) or any of those that remain (Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and that guy who used to be in the "Rent is too damn high!" party).

Here is mine:

Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul
Wouldn't they be quite a ticket?
"Hey! Get off my lawn!"

Now it is your turn. Just try to make it about 5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables, and the winner gets their bio here on Monday!

Now do it!

Political Mayhem Thursday: Santorum!

2012-01-05T00:03:00.003-05:00

IPLawPresident!
by: oslerguy

[Disclaimer: The real IPLawGuy is actually quite articulate, and holds only some of the positions attributed to him here]

What a great time to not be a Republican! Watching the Iowa campaigning and caucus results without a horse in the race was like being the only sober person in a room full of drunks-- it just gets more entertaining and absurd as the night wears on.

Here are a few of my conclusions:

Boy, do people not want to vote for Romney!

This guy has, by far, the most money raised and spent. Between 2008 and now, he has spent months in Iowa. He has by far the best organization on the ground. He pretty much avoided gaffes, and consistently came off as knowledgeable, poised, well-prepared, and energetic. Yet, for all that, he improved his results vs four years ago by 6. Not six percentage points-- six votes. He got 30,021 in 2008, and 30,015 last night... oh, wait, that's six LESS votes. Huh. He ended up almost precisely tied with a candidate with almost no resources and nearly devoid of accomplishment-- Rick Santorum. Further, here is a list of the goofballs who have, in sequence, moved ahead of Romney previously in the polls:

Donald Trump
Michelle Bachmann
Rick Perry
Herman Cain
Newt Gingrich

Crikeys! What a motley crew-- a reality tv star, someone who promotes praying away the gay, a guy who seems unable to focus for a full hour, a pizza executive who didn't know that China has nuclear weapons, and one of the biggest hypocrites in American political history (and that's saying something).

Compare this group to the talent we saw in the 1980 Republican caucuses in Iowa. In first place was George H.W. Bush, a man with broad Congressional experience, a former ambassador and head of the CIA, and a genuine war hero. In second place was Ronald Reagan. In third place was Howard Baker, a Senate Majority leader, White House chief of staff, and Ambassador. In fourth place was John Connally, a former Secretary of the Navy and the Treasury and former governor of Texas and war hero who won the Legion of Merit. In fifth and sixth places were veteran Illinois Congressmen Phil Crane and John Anderson, and in seventh place was war hero, veteran Congressman and Senator, and future nominee Bob Dole. Now THAT is talent.

And now we have Rick Santorum? What I take from all this is that Republicans are nearly desperate for someone besides Romney.

That strikes me as kind of weird, since he is a good candidate in any observable respect, especially compared to the competition. Newt Gingrich pretty much had a meltdown last night, Rick Santorum couldn't even hold his senate seat in Pennsylvania, and Rick Perry may already be done.

Of course, I also think Romney would be the worst president. His policies are almost shockingly single-minded in increasing the income disparity in this country, which has become a major and legitimate issue. He is, and serves, the very wealthiest among us. Wait a minute... could it be that Republicans don't want that, either? I really do think that has something to do with it (I tease them, but Republicans are right about a lot of things, and are no more idiots than the Democrats).

Meanwhile... I wonder if Tim Pawlenty thinks he dropped out too soon?

[I'm ignoring Ron Paul in order to incite Ron Paul enthusiasts into a lathering rage]

The Bishop Sisters and Plaxico Burress

2012-01-04T21:34:00.002-05:00

It's a strange combination, but a good cause... though I would take the advice of the Bishops on this one over gun violence victim Plaxico Burress-- who shot himself. [The Bishops appear at about 1:33 of the video]

A busy, busy Spring

2012-01-04T00:02:00.005-05:00

I'm used to having a lot to do, but this Spring semester is going to be a little crazy. Here is what I have going on:

1) Teaching Criminal Law

In ten years at Baylor, I never got the chance to teach a first-year lecture class (Brian Serr ably handled that), but now I am getting my shot at it. I'll have about 90 eager St. Thomasites ready to learn all about homicide and conspiracy.

2) Teaching Criminal Practice

This is just about my favorite class to teach, and the the first one I ever taught. It's an intense walk-through of the actual tasks a criminal lawyer performs. I've had the chance to teach many amazing people in this class, from David Moore in 2000 to Rita Berg last year at St. Thomas.

3) Commutation clinic

Last fall I started the first federal commutation clinic in the country, and it is continuing into the Spring. I've got a great bunch of students, and their work thus far has been pretty interesting.

4) The Trial of Christ

We're really pushing this project into overdrive this Spring. There is now a home page for that project, and here is part of our schedule:

January 15—Trial of Christ, Fourth Presbyterian, Chicago, 12:30 pm.
February 7—Trial of Christ, Episcopal Divinity School/Harvard, 7 pm.
February 24—Osler/Bishop Death Penalty presentation, Belmont University, Nashville
February 25—Osler/Bishop presentation to Tennesseans for Alternatives to the Death Penalty conference, Nashville
February 26—Osler/Bishop presentation at St. Henry’s Catholic Church, Nashville
February 27—Trial of Christ, Carson-Newman College, Jeffersonville, TN
March 18—Trial of Christ, St. Henry’s Catholic Church, Nashville
April 5 (Maundy Thursday)—Trial of Christ, Crossings Community Church, Oklahoma City, OK

4b) Other Speaking gigs

Other than the Trial of Christ, I also have a lot of speaking to do at various conferences and such. For example, in the third week of January (our first week of classes) I have four interesting events: On Wedenesday the 18th, I'll be speaking at St. Mary's Episcopal Church in St. Paul, on Thursday the 19th I will be presenting here at St. Thomas with Andrew Densemo, on Friday the 20th I am on a panel at the annual PFLAG conference, and on Sunday the 22nd Susan Stabile and I will quarrel over creedalism in front of the confused parishoners of Christ Episcopal Church in Woodbury, Minnesota.

5) Symposium

On April 20, we are hosting a symposium on commutation issues, with some great guests, and I am working to coordinate that.

5b) RALS conference

I'm currently the head of the association of Religiously Affiliated Law Schools, and we have our big bi-annual conference this May at Touro Law School. Lots of planning to do for that.

6) TYLA Team

I'm coaching a mock trial team, and I'm still amazed at the talent I am finding at St. Thomas. These guys are going to be good.

7) Academic writing

I've got one article coming out (on narcotics interdiction strategies), another being placed, and am finishing up a third (suggesting a radical revision of the sentencing guidelines).

8) Other writing

I don't think I'm going to slow down much on the short-form writing-- I finished two op-ed this week, one for CNN and the other for the St. Thomas alumni magazine.

9) Blogging

Oh, yeah. I'll still be here. Every day.

Bowl Game Report!

2012-01-03T00:01:00.000-05:00

It's been a great year for bowl games-- especially if you are a fan of Baylor. Here is an update on the action so far:

1) Alamo Bowl

Result:
Baylor 67
Univ. of Washington Muskies 54

No, I'm not making that basketball-like score up. It was an incredible game to watch, and Baylor proved that you can win ten games in a schedule packed with tough games, despite having a defense that puts up less resistance than eleven traffic cones set up at random.

2) New Mexico Nuclear Bowl

Temple Owls 74
Univ. of Wyoming Sea Cretins 72

In an attempt to generate as much scoring as the Alamo Bowl, both teams agreed to let coaches stand in as a symbolic "defense" for the second, third, and fourth quarters of the game.

3) Beef O'Brady's Bowl

Florida International Golden Samovars 10
Marshall University Flaming Goatees 20

This game avoided the defensive meltdowns seen in other bowls by having Mr. O'Brady play quarterback for both teams.

4) Rose Bowl

Oregon Super Ducks 45
Wisconsin Cheese 37

Though the game itself was pretty good, the highlight was the halftime show, during which the Oregon marching band performed a medley of songs reflecting a small portion of the felonies committed by the Oregon team this year.

5) BCS National Championship

Alabama 2
LSU 1

In a defensive struggle many people predicted would be "legendary," Alabama's safety with four seconds remaining was the difference.

Our winner: Gary!

2012-01-02T00:01:00.001-05:00

Haiku-ing was a little light last week, but no wonder-- we were all kind of off-duty, right? Our winner, though, was Gary, who crafted a haiku that was at once believable and horrible; mundane and terrible:

My New Year's Eve Theme:
It's Hello Kitty party time!
Get out your red bows!

I can't even imagine what to say about this one's true meaning. Still, I owe him a bio, so here goes:

Gary was born in thel central Texas town of West. His father ran a small feed lot, and his mother sold grapefruit to passing motorist. Well, she didn't really sell them-- she just threw them at cars. Gary's ambition was to attend Baylor University, and through the generosity of friends and several anonymous donors, he got his wish.

While at Baylor, Gary became a Spanish major, and a protege of the Spanish Medievalist. He began wearing armor to class, and brandished a sword. Thought odd by some, Gary did cut a memorable figure on campus, and was called upon to tell several underperforming Baylor coaches that they were being terminated.

Now having completed Baylor, Gary now works for the TSA at the Waco airport, where you may well have met him on your way through the magnetometer!

Sunday Reflection: The New Year

2012-01-01T00:01:00.000-05:00

It is a new year.

Yes, it's an arbitrary demarcation, no more significant in its fundamentals than the odometer flipping 10,000 in the car, but that does not mean it is without meaning. It's symbolic, yes, but symbols are the most powerful things in our society- what tyrants and heroes alike rely upon to change the world.

And what does it symbolize? A new beginning, a time to set your feet firmly and look forward boldly, imagining what may lie ahead. This is important; what we create is a product, after all, of what we first imagine.

Time and again, that was Christ's message, too. In my church, there is a cross, but no one upon it. That's because Christ is gone-- gone from the cross, gone from the tomb, gone on to live some more, the new beginning.

This can be as religious a holiday as we choose to make it. There is nothing more profound in faith, after all, than the opportunity to be remade.

Things that went missing in 2011

2011-12-31T00:05:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year's Eve! Lots of other news outlets are making lists of people who died in the past year, but here at the Razor I'd like to recognize stuff that just kind of disappeared for no reason.

1. Long Distance Phone Calls

Not so long ago, long distance phone calls were a big deal-- I remember shushing people who were trying to interrupt my phone conversation by mouthing the words "long distance!" Now... not such a big deal.

2. Fun new airlines

For most of the last 30-some years, it has been great to watch kooky new airlines (remember People Express?) crop us every year. That era seems to be over though-- the victim of tight credit.

3. Using the left lane for passing

When did it become ok to just cruise along in the left lane all the time? Not so long ago, it was just Bob Dole doing this, but now it seems very common-- and dangerous and annoying.

4. Boxing

Who is the heavyweight champion of the world right now? No one knows!

5. Atlantic City

Wasn't it supposed to be the next Las Vegas? Somehow, it kinda faded.

6. Football conferences

Remember back when Oklahoma/Nebraska was a huge rivalry game? When the Big 12 had 12 members, and the Big Ten had 10? When you could schedule things three years in advance? Forget all that- rivalries are as passé as scheduling Baylor for an easy homecoming win.

7. Television sit-coms

Gone, pretty much, though I'm not sure why.

8. Breakfast

It's pretty much a snack now. What happened to the days when (at least according to Super Sugar Bear) a "complete breakfast" was a big bowl of Super Sugar Crisp, juice, toast, another kind of toast, and milk?

9. The names Dot, Albert, Betty, and Dick

The most popular name for baby boys in 2011 was "Aiden." Huh.

That's all I have-- who can come up with a 10th?

Haiku Friday: New Year's Eve

2011-12-30T00:01:00.001-05:00

NYE
by: oslerguy

Here it comes! New Year's Eve! Let's haiku about that, whether your plan is for something loud or something quiet. As a starter, use the first line "My New Year's Eve Plan."

Here is mine:

My New Year's Eve plan:
Gather a lot of foodstuffs
And then eat them all.

Now it is your turn! The winner gets their bio here on Monday...

Christmas Mayhem Thursday!

2011-12-29T00:01:00.001-05:00

I'll be honest: After this week, I really don't have the heart to host some weighty political debate this week. Instead, I think we should tell stories about our Christmases. This isn't my idea; rather, I am accepting the challenge New Christine made so gracefully in a comment a few weeks ago, when she said this:

This fall, while immersed in two large commercial projects, I received an unexpected call from a family of five requesting design help with their kitchen and dining room make-over. With no time and little desire, I struggled to reply and contemplated turning down my first referral – a project so small, the compensation barely worth the effort. My better Angels won out...

My acceptance was greeted with a “Thank you,” and a comment, “After viewing your web site, why would you even consider taking on a project like ours?”

A whisper hard while driving to meet them, suggested my efforts should be offered with a request to pay it forward. For the referral that came from his bother, their family agreed to take his brother’s to a special outing or performance, with the remainder of my design hours to be given back charitably to their parish or community.

Weeks later, during an Advent enjoyed and preparations mostly complete, I chose a first Christmas without a fir freshly cut. The savings gifted to a family member, down sized and seeking employment for more than six months - Something extra at Christmas, for her and her family. A “Charlie Brown” tree for me. Content was I, though my loved ones and friends were surprised - and a story was shared.

From my new clients a surprise did I soon receive. “Speaking of Christmas, we have 2 adults and three kids who LOVE to decorate for Christmas. If you would let us, we would love to bring a tree by your house and decorate it.”

A balsam fir proudly stands watch over my little sparse tree, a gift unexpected from loved ones for me…

What Gift can we Bring when we

It's a Festivus Miracle!

2011-12-28T00:02:00.000-05:00

My family has a lot of Christmas traditions-- critiquing the church service on Christmas eve, festive holiday spoon-hanging, and the ritual smashing of the gingerbread house among them-- but every year there seems to be a surprise as well.

This year's surprise came in the trunk of my cousin John Robinson's car. It was some cardboard untidily taped together with fading masking tape.

He hauled it into my parents' house and told me the story of how they had ended up here. My grandmother, Genevieve Webster, died almost 20 years ago. Not long after, John went over to check her basement storage area, to make sure it was cleaned out, and found this cardboard container in a corner against the wall. Before throwing it out, he looked inside.

What he found was old newspapers. Not just any old newspapers, but those that recorded two significant events-- the assassination of President Lincoln in 1865, and the Boston Massacre in 1770. They are incredibly fragile but whole, which is remarkable for something that is 240 years old.

What surprised me, upon reading them, was how informative a primary document can be. For example, the front page of the paper announcing Lincoln's death had a sidebar with the headline, "John Wilkes Booth, the Actor, Suspected of Murder." What I hadn't realized, until then, was that Booth was famous in his own right-- to the degree that the headline writer assumed that his readers would know this actor. It made the shock of it all more clear to me.

John's question to me, and my question to you, is this: What should we do with these?

Crikeys, That's Violent!

2011-12-27T00:01:00.001-05:00

I like to check back in on my favorite news outlets back in Waco, and I have to say that I am kinda taken aback by how grim the news seems to be out of Texas these days-- which is saying something given that I am currently in the Detroit area. The amount of gun violence is incredible.

If you don't believe me, check out the listings below, which is the "headline" section from the KWTX website. I did not edit this, or delete or edit anything-- I just cut and pasted it out of KWTX.com.

Christmas Day Gunman Dressed As Santa Kills 6 In Texas Suburb
The gunman who killed six people in a suburban Texas apartment before shooting himself was dressed as Santa Claus, police said Monday.

Two Stabbed In Early-Morning Disturbance
Two people stabbed in an early morning disturbance Monday were taken to a local hospital and police are looking for a third person involved in the incident.

Texas Police Open Fire, Kill Troubled War Veteran On Christmas Night
A 29-year-old man described as a troubled Iraq war veteran died on Christmas night when officers opened fire as he ran toward them with a gun in his hand after firing at police cars.

Party Boat Explodes, Burns On Central Texas Lake; Arson Suspected
Damage is estimated at $1 million after a party boat exploded and burned in a Central Texas lake.

Late-Night Christmas Fire Destroys Local Couple’s Home
A Central Texas man and his wife escaped with their dog and little else as their house went up in flames just before midnight on Christmas.

Texas Police Officer On Leave After Deadly Christmas Night Shooting
A Texas police officer who shot and killed a driver who became combative after a crash on Christmas night was on administrative leave Monday.

Christmas Day Drive-By In Texas Neighborhood Leaves 5 Injured
Police think a domestic dispute was behind a Christmas Day drive-by shooting that left five people injured including a 6-year-old boy.

Bones Found Partially Buried In Wooded Area Of San Antonio
Authorities were trying Monday to identify bones that a man and his son found on Christmas Day while walking in a wooded area of San Antonio.

Christmas Day Fires Leave 3 Texas Families Homeless
Fires left three Texas families homeless on Christmas Day.

Elderly Texas Man Dies In Hit-And-Run Accident
An elderly Texas man was killed in a hit-and-run accident near an interstate rest area in Alabama.

Texas Family Pulled From Snowbound SUV Spends Christmas In Colorado
A Texas family that was headed up ski trip ended up stranded after their SUV got stuck and then was buried under about four feet of snow.

Drug Violence Kept Texas Families Apart On Christmas
Drug violence in Mexico kept some Texans from visiting relatives this Christmas.

Texas Who Pulled Gun And Chased The Wrong Guy Says He’s Sorry
A Texas man who chased another man he believed had ripped him off in a drug deal for 10 miles apologized after he realized he was chasing the wrong guy.

Some Rebuild In Wildfire Ravaged Bastrop, But Not All
New homes are going up in parts of wildfire-ravaged Bastrop, but in other places, all that’s visible are the foundations of homes that burned.

Hackers Target Central Texas Global Security Firm
A Central Texas-based global security firm targeted by hackers says such attacks can be hard to defend against.

Texas Police Task Force Focuses On Mexican Mafia Gang
A Texas task force made up of local, state, and federal officers is focusing on the activities of the Mexican Mafia in Central Texas.

Crooks Take No Holiday; Elderly Man Bilked Out Of Thousands Of Dollars
Police were investigating Friday after an elderly man reported he'd been bilked out of thousands of dollars.

Texas Border Agents Seize 7 Tons Of Pot In 5 Days
Agents on the Texas border seized more than seven tons of pot in just five days this week.

Five Taken To Local Hospital After Shooting Involving Police Officer
An injured police officer, a man whom the officer shot and two other adults and an infant were taken to a local hospital late Friday morning after what started as a traffic stop in Temple ended in gunfire.

Shooting In Rural Central Texas Leaves 2 Men Dead
Two men died in a shooting at a rural Central Texas residence, authorities said Friday.

Early Shoe Sale Apparent Cause Of Local Mall Disturbance
Waco police assisted by McLennan County sheriff deputies were working early Friday to clear customers out of the Richland Mall after a large crowd gathered for early morning holiday sales, but quickly became unruly.

Teenage Girl Flown To Local Hospital After Early Morning Shooting
A woman was flown to a local hospital after a shooting early Friday in a rural area.

Central Texas Death Row Inmate Loses Appeal
A federal appeals court has refused an appeal from a Central Texas man sent to death row for burning his ex-girlfriend to death.

Hotels Across Texas Offer Free Rooms On Christmas Eve
Hotels across the state are providing free rooms on Christmas Eve to those with friends or relatives in hospitals and nursing homes.

Chase Ends When Fleeing Car Strikes Jeep, Injuring Driver
A driver whose Jeep was struck by a car whose driver was fleeing from a state trooper was taken to a local hospital Thursday.

Texas A&M Player Dies In Highway Crash
A Texas A&M football player died Thursday in a traffic crash.

Gas Leak Forces Evacuation Of Texas Police Department Headquarters
A gas leak early Friday forced the evacuation of a Texas police department headquarters building.

More Retailers Pull Formula From Shelves After Infant’s Death
More retailers are pulling powdered infant formula from shelves after the death of an infant.

Texas Woman Charged In Slaying Of Oklahoma Man
A 65-year-old Texas woman was held without bond Friday charged in the shooting death of an Oklahoma man to whom she lent money.

Thousands Of Rounds Of Ammo Cook Off As Rural Texas Home Burns
Bullets were flying and Texas firefighters had to keep their heads down as fire engulfed a house, cooking off tens of thousands of rounds of ammunition stored inside.

Four Dead Horses Found On Texas Property; 7 Others Rescued
Animal rescuers found four dead horses on a Texas property and took custody of seven others that were emaciated.
Texas Prison Guard Accused Of Sexual Abuse Of Inmate

A guard at a federal medical prison unit in Texas is accused of sexually abusing an inmate.
Former Soldier Surrenders After Standoff In Local Neighborhood

A 26-year-old former soldier surrendered to authorities Thursday after a two-hour standoff in a local neighborhood, during which some residents were evacuated.

Deputies Want To Know Who Sent Porn To Local Boy’s Cell Phone
Deputies are trying to determine who sent texts with pornographic pictures to the cell phone of an 11-year-old Central Texas boy.

Teenager Arrested After Texas College Coed Killed
A teenage woman accused of stabbing a 21-year-old female Texas college track athlete remains jailed after was charged with murder Thursday.

Texas Deputy Fired After Young Son Shoots Brother With Service Weapon
A Texas sheriff’s deputy was fired, arrested and charged after one of his young sons used his service revolver to shoot a younger brother.

Texas Boy Lost Kidney In School Shooting; Classmate Can’t Move Legs
One of the teenage boys who was shot during a basketball tryout outside a Texas middle school lost a kidney and a second still can’t move his legs, doctors say.

Our winner: Renee!

2011-12-26T00:01:00.000-05:00

I hope that everyone had a great weekend, whether it was Christmas for you or not. For haiku Friday, I could not help picking (for the first time) a set of haikus that I thought hung together particularly well, by Renee:

What comes in the night
We do not expect,Tender King--
You come a child,poor.

They tell us to look
For the large,for powerful
But Love sleeps in straw.

Our own children come
To teach us who you are,Lord--
Rare...Abundant Joy.

Which means that it is time for her biography:

Though her present is well known, Renee's origins are mysterious. Some say that she was born on a plantation deep in the tidal bays of South Carolina, while others say she was born in the shadow of mountains among the towering pines of the northwest. Some claim that she was born into a family of traveling minstrels; others point to evidence that she was a child of land, helping with the harvest. There is some basis for believing that all this might be true.

Nonetheless, at this time we know her to inhabit the borderlands between the north woods and the high plains, a land that has given us legions of folk singers, street preachers, storytellers, and nearly any type of true believer. She is true to her habits, loyal to her own heart, and has successfully claimed her freedom enough times that it is no longer questioned. Those who have been to her lair say that everything there is there for a reason, though only Renee may know what that reason is.

Plus, she has a lot of hats. A LOT of hats.

Sunday reflection: It is what it is. But...

2011-12-25T00:01:00.001-05:00

One of my least favorite expressions is "well, it is what it is." People say that when they reflect on a situation and don't acknowledge responsibility for it, or express a willingness to change it. Really, it's a variation on the theme of "That's just the way it is," which I have previously disparaged here.

People sometimes have that attitude about Christmas-- that it "is what it is." Usually, they mean that Christmas is some combination of stressful, meaningless, commercialized, and brutish.

It can be that, of course.

But, only if we choose that. It strikes me that this Christmas can be something beautiful and whole: A new palette and a blank canvas. It can be a space in which to create what we want, full of color and meaning, if we wish. It is the one Sunday this year that the Sabbath really will be observed, because everything will be closed-- we will be left to our own devices. There will be quiet, for us to fill up or let be. Either way, it can be ours.

When Christ came into the world, he brought that power and gave it to us. He broke down rules and rebuilt ethics on a foundation of empathy and love. He also came to bring agency-- the freedom to use reason to decide what that meant. Christ spoke in parables, and understanding a parable takes the work of at least two people: the teller and the hearer. As the hearer, we must fill the story with meaning, infuse it with love, make it dance with our own reality.

This day, if nothing else, is a day to remember that great gift, and begin the project.

Christmas Eve Reconcilliation

2011-12-24T00:04:00.000-05:00

Today I have a piece in the Dallas Morning News that I co-authored with a new friend and collaborator, Randy Roberts Potts. It's wonderful that the DMN is running it on Christmas Eve; the title is There's Hope for Reconciliation Between Religious Right, Progressives.

Here is part of the article:

In working on the death penalty we have found that conservative Christians are very often principled, even when they disagree with us. When we talk about Christ as the subject of an unjust execution, or about the Eucharist as the last meal of a condemned man, they listen and consider it fairly. The discussion is worth it.

Even on the politically charged issue of gay men and women, we often find common ground. When we talk about reducing things like drug and alcohol abuse, suicide and homelessness in gay teenagers, we find that many pastors, youth ministers and lay people share our concerns. While many conservative Christians do not believe that the Bible permits same-sex marriage, they do agree that concepts of grace and charity as taught in the New Testament argue for a more loving, affirming approach to gay men and women.

Christmas is a season of reconciliation, and this could be one of the most significant reconciliations of all. Both social progressives and conservative Christians are fellow travelers who care about something more than money, who seek deep meaning, and who take joy in the uplifting of others.

Jesus broke bread with a man he knew would betray him, and another he knew would deny him; the least that any of us can do is seek the same with those who have opposed us.

I hope that people understand how gracious this statement is for Randy to make, and I admire him the way that I admire my other heroes of forgiveness, like Jeanne Bishop. If you don't know Randy's story, you can see some of it here:

Christmas Eve, and looking ahead

2011-12-24T00:03:00.002-05:00

Today I will be surrounded by family, and making my traditional Christmas eve chowder. I'm also hoping to go on a traditional Christmas eve madcap adventure with my dad into the city-- more on that as things develop.

Looking ahead, Chato Hazelbaker at St. Thomas has put together a great web page which gathers the schedule and other materials for our trial of Christ this winter and spring-- you can check out that page here.

Haiku Friday: Christmas!

2011-12-23T00:01:00.000-05:00

Hi! My name is Mark, and I love Christmas! It's simple, I know, but let's stick with the obvious and haiku about Christmas this week. Here is mine:

There's chill in the air
But no snow to be seen, yet
Warm hearts abound here.

Now it is your turn... the winner gets their bio here on Monday!

Political Mayhem Thursday: Alan Bean and two good books

2011-12-22T00:02:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite progressive activists is Alan Bean, who runs Friends of Justice down in Texas-- in fact, I like his group so much I have served on the board for a few years. Among other things, Alan is known as the person primarily responsible for breaking the story about horrendous police abuses in Tulia, Texas. His work there and elsewhere in the state lead directly to some important and far-reaching reforms. (If you want to know more about Tulia, I would recommend his book on the topic).

I would encourage you to read Alan's particularly interesting review of two books I want to read. The first is The Collapse of American Criminal Justice by the late Bill Stuntz, who is one of my real heroes in the field (and, I might add, a fellow grad of William and Mary). The second is Don't Shoot: The End of Inner-City Violence in America by David Kennedy.

What I like about Stuntz (an evangelical Christian who taught at Harvard Law School) and Kennedy (who teaches at john Jay College in New York) is that they are both realistic, challenging, and ultimately hopeful that things can get better.

If you didn't catch the first link to Bean's review, here it is again. Read it!

What money buys

2011-12-21T00:01:00.002-05:00

[click on the photo to enlarge it]

Earlier this week, in my piece in the Huffington Post, I mentioned that in wealthy areas "there is calm, above all, because that is part of what money can buy, and does." I think that's true, but incomplete.

When people talk about "what money can buy," they usually are describing physical objects they desire-- a car or a piece of clothing. In truth, though, what wealth buys in our society is calm and freedom.

The more expensive areas in any city usually tend to be islands of calm. The freeways go nearby, maybe, but not through those neighborhoods. There isn't much crime, and you don't hear sirens. People are not jammed together, so there is space between them to dissipate noise and anger.

The freedom is perhaps harder to see. The wealthy have the advantage to not constantly choose between two things they want or need; they often have the freedom to choose both. They are free to travel, because they can afford it, and they are free from the worry about money (though many still do worry about money anyways).

Money always purchases what is in scarce supply, so perhaps this tells us that calm and freedom are being rationed through disparities of wealth. Urbanization is a part of this-- when people lived on farms, there was calm even for the poor, and what they sought was stimulation. Now that we are urbanized, we spend our money for the opposite, for what comes for free when you live out in the country.

This is something I will think about when I sing "Silent Night" on Saturday-- that one of the promises of Christ is an occasional sense of calm and freedom, to the rich and poor alike.

Christmas on Tatooine

2011-12-20T00:01:00.000-05:00

I would like to thank the current Wacoan of the Year for this...

Just up at the Huffington Post!

2011-12-19T16:17:00.002-05:00

... is this advent piece I wrote a week ago Sunday (back when there was snow on the ground).

Our Winner: Ms. Jill Scoggins!

2011-12-19T00:01:00.000-05:00

I'm still not sure what a noob is, but there was a lot of great haiku! I'm very fond of this, from Renee:

So,what is a noob?
An unfortunate knob where
One's nose ought to be.

At the very least, it seemed like a good guess. Our winner, though, is Jill Scoggins, with this entry:

So, what is a noob?
One who has much to learn but
won't try to one bit.

And now, her biography:

Jill Scoggins resides at Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane in Louisville, Kentucky, where she is employed in the care and handling of dangerous information. She arrived there only recently, carrying only a carpetbag and an umbrella. She has strange and magical powers, including the ability to produce objects from her bag that one might not expect. For example, on a camping trip to the Poconos with the members of the musical group Public Enemy, she is reputed to have removed from her bag a full-size stove, several car tires, a large clock, many hats, and a Chrysler LeBaron convertible.

From 1980-1985, Scoggins was in the personal employ of Ronald Reagan. She then worked for a Mr. Steven Jobs, and in 2007 became a top aide to a very young Justin Bieber.

Congratulations, Jill!

We are lucky to have Jill Scoggins among our ranks here at the Razor.

Sunday Reflection: Retailers, please don't call it "Christmas."

2011-12-18T00:01:00.002-05:00

Like some others, I have heard a fair amount of complaining about retailers who call this time of the year the "holidays" rather than "Christmas." For what it is worth, I disagree. I would love it if retailers disassociated entirely from the Christian holiday of Christmas. The best thing for Christians would be if those trying to sell us things would ignore Christmas altogether. That way, the holiday could be more about... well, you know.

How can Christmas be about what I see in the Macy's flyer? I learned a lot about this from an 8-year-old who once told me this: "I think God had Jesus be born in a stable so that we remember that great things can come from poor people." Yet, the message of the retailers is that great things-- i.e., the gift of an expensive watch-- come from riches.

So they can leave Christmas out of it, and that's fine with me.

IPLawGuy's second favorite band!

2011-12-17T00:25:00.000-05:00

Or at least it was back in college... now with more gossip.

Haiku Friday: Noobs!

2011-12-16T00:01:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I included a graphic that used the phrase "Noobs Throwing Cans," but I have no idea what a Noob is. A new observer? A bad elf? Someone who was abandoned at a gas station in Iowa? Your guess is as good as mine... and guess we shall! Use the first line "So, what is a Noob?" Then have a second line of seven syllables, and a third with five.

I'll go first:

So, what is a noob?
I figure it must be a cross
'tween Newt and Goober.

Now it is your turn! The winner gets their bio here on Monday...

Political Mayhem Thursday: Which state should we expel?

2011-12-15T00:01:00.002-05:00

Among the stranger suggestions for balancing the budget is the idea that the United States should simply sell Texas, because federal expenditures in that state outweigh tax revenues, and it would probably sell for a decent price.

I'm personally fond of Texas, so I'm against that plan. But, if we were going to sell off a state, which one should it be?

Something about this baby Jesus is.... strange

2011-12-14T00:01:00.001-05:00

[Click on the image to enlarge it-- if you dare!]

I walked by a manger scene in Virginia a few weeks ago, and had to circle back to take a photo of the baby Jesus shown here. What is it about this particular baby Jesus that seems off?

News from IPLawGuy's Pod in Space!

2011-12-13T00:01:00.001-05:00

Christmas Pod
by: oslerguy

People who really like Pandas don't get all weird like this...

2011-12-12T13:02:00.003-05:00

Haiku winner: Christine!

2011-12-12T00:01:00.001-05:00

Boy, there were some good haikus last week! I came close to having Renee win, but she wasn't in church today, so I couldn't confirm some things about her poem. Our winner is Christine, who waxed eloquent on the subject of her elf name:

Santa's best helper
A little round and "tine"y
I am the elf ~ SPORK

Spork reference, bad pun, proper counting of syllables.... if she had mentioned a panda, it would have been perfect!

And now, her biography:

A child of the midwest, Christine briefly attended Miami University (Vermont), where she became fascinated with nuclear power after a work-study project involving Vermont's unique all-wood nuclear reactor. Wanting more, she transferred to Reed College, which is the home to America's only nuclear reactor run by undergraduates.

While working on the Reed College reactor, she was involved in a bizarre partial meltdown later blamed on the B-52's, a 1980's pop band. As a result of the accident, she somehow gained the unusual ability to fly, with a few limitations. First, she could only fly while seated in a chair, and at that can only levitate some eight feet above the surface of the earth. Her initial attempts to use her powers for evil were foiled, as people standing nearby were able to easily reach and grab the legs of the chair as it passed nearby, causing her to crash.

After several unfortunate incidents, including one at Legoland California, she decided instead to work in the field of back room operations for large banking concerns. This played to both her facility with numbers and her flying ability, as most people working within banking are not quick-witted enough to grab a flying chair which is barely over their head.

Having made $908 million in that field through a variety of means, she retired to Northern Alabama's Sand Mountain region, where she now lives with her husband and several snakes, which are used for liturgical purposes.

Sunday Reflection: Advent

2011-12-11T00:01:00.002-05:00

Not so long ago, I began to distinguish between Advent and Christmas, two very different parts of the liturgical season. Christmas is a celebration, while Advent is a time of expectant and reflective waiting.

Our society is pretty good at celebration, but not so great at reflective waiting. I suspect that part of this is because our commercial culture has assessed that there is money to be made out of celebration, but not reflective waiting. Our urge to spend and celebrate is affirmed at every turn, but not so much that sense of quiet that Advent should include.

I'm good at busy. I'm not so good at quiet. But, I'm trying.

Another view: Gays and lesbians and churches

2011-12-10T00:01:00.001-05:00

Last Sunday, there were many reactions to my sermon in Virginia. Though I do not agree with him, I particularly admired Bryan Bufkin, a former student during my Baylor years (and a good one), for putting his name behind his beliefs, and thought he articulated his thoughts well. I also (with prodding from David Best, a UST student) regret the tone of my initial response to him. Bryan has graciously agreed to provide a longer explication of his thoughts, which are included below:

Hello all. My name is Bryan Bufkin. I am a recent graduate from Baylor Law and a new attorney in Fort Worth, Texas. Following a difference of opinion between Professor Osler and myself regarding how Christians should treat homosexuality within the walls of a church or Christian institution, Professor Osler has been very gracious to give me this forum to express my opinions on this subject. For this, I am truly grateful. In a nutshell, I believe that engaging in homosexuality is a sinful behavior. And, just like any other sin, I don’t believe that accepting and encouraging that behavior in a Christian institution is what the Bible tells Christians to do.

I ask anybody reading this to do so with an open mind and a graceful heart. I am not trying to convince anybody that homosexuality is a sinful behavior, as that would lead to many rabbit trails and would ultimately be counter-productive. The reason I originally posted was because I felt like a lot of Christians were being unfairly labeled as being judgmental, ignorant, and hateful. I don’t believe this is the case for many Christians. This is an extremely difficult issue, and I have spent a lot of time praying and thinking about it. The point of this post is to show that there are sound reasons for my beliefs and that this is at the very least a difficult issue that many Christians have spent considerable time analyzing. I think it’s important to have an honest conversation about these issues instead of hiding behind surface level arguments about love and acceptance.

I am writing this post based on a previous post from Professor Osler. I am limiting the scope of this post to the two issues that I believe were addressed in Professor Osler’s blog: (1) whether Christian institutions that believe that homosexuality is a sin should appoint leaders that are un-repenting, practicing homosexuals, and (2) whether those institutions should bless homosexual couples at the altar. Also, I am writing this post under the assumption that homosexuality is a sin. It makes it easier to do that instead of continually qualifying it with “assuming you agree it is a sin.” Please read this post in that context.

To provide context of the earlier blog post, Professor Osler’s argument is that as Christians, our number one goal should be to love others. Our role is not to judge others. That is God’s role. I completely agree with those two basic underlying concepts. However, we disagree on what that practically means. Professor Osler argued that it is not loving to exclude certain behaviors within a church. I hope that I have fairly characterized his positions.

I believe that engaging in homosexuality is a sin based on my understanding of the Bible. Whether or not you agree, it is hard to argue that there isn’t at least a solid foundation in the Bible for this belief. It is mentioned throughout the Bible, including in the New Testament (“Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). If you do read the Bible to mean that a homosexual act is sinful, it should be treated like any other sin.

The ultimate question is this: is it unloving and/or judgmental for Christians not to bless homosexuals at the altar or not to allow un-repenting, practicing homosexuals to be leaders within a Christian institution? Professor Osler thinks that it is unloving and judgmental, and I do not. Our source of disagreement is our different definitions of what “love” and “judgmental” mean. It is very easy to label any accepting and encouraging behavior as being loving, but one must look past simply labeling love as “acceptance” or “encouragement” because love doesn’t always mean those things.

We both used the story of the stoning of the prostitute to illustrate our respective points. Professor Osler’s point regarding Jesus’ love is that “they were stoning a woman, and he loved her despite her sins . . . . Every time he was confronted with a rule, he responded by talking about the principle of love.” My point is that at the end of that story, Jesus told the woman to “go and sin no more.” To me, that’s the full picture of what love is. Love doesn’t mean simply accepting behavior that will lead one away from God. It was loving of Jesus to tell her to stop sinning because Jesus knew that her acts of prostitution were separating her from God. I am not saying that we are like Jesus and we should tell anybody we want to go and sin no more. I am simply saying that when we say that Jesus was all about love, it is easy to mischaracterize what that means. Yes, Jesus was all about love, but love doesn’t mean blind acceptance and encouragement. I am not sure where this definition of love has come from. Because sinning separates man from God, encouraging a person to continue to sin is not loving at all. An example I would use is a child that is attempting to put his hand near a fire. Would it be loving for the parent to encourage or allow the child to put his hand on the fire because that is what love is? No. It would be more loving to keep the child from hurting himself. If we are going to point to the story of the stoning of the prostitute to illustrate what love is, we must read the whole story. Jesus did not show the prostitute love by telling her, “I love everything about you, even the fact that you are a prostitute. Keep on being a prostitute if that makes you happy.” The story does paint a picture of love, but it is a more complex picture than many have made it out to be.

Professor Osler argued that “[i]n a world where two men or two women can blessed before this altar of God, things will be unfamiliar. That is the nature of the journey. That is the cost of justice and hope and love.” I disagree completely that this is the cost of love. Ultimately, Professor Osler is arguing that it is loving not only to accept homosexual behavior, but to celebrate it by allowing homosexual couples to be blessed at the altar. He is asking Christians to treat the sin of homosexuality differently than any other sin. Take the story of the prostitute, for instance. Can you imagine how preposterous that it would be for Christians to be mulling over whether or not to allow prostitutes to be authority figures within the church? Then, not only accepting them as authority figures within the church, but holding ceremonies to celebrate their acts of prostitution? You can plug any other sin into that scenario, and it seems preposterous. Imagine an un-repenting, adulterous preacher holding a ceremony to celebrate that a thief has decided to continue to steal things. Not only would that never happen, but nobody that I know of has ever argued that it should happen. I understand that you can throw the word “love” out there and say just about anything, just as easily as people can throw out that Christians are ignorant and hateful. We must start examining what these statements really mean. The Bible doesn’t allow us as Christians to decide for ourselves how we should treat certain acts so long as we define the treatment as “loving.” I think it’s dangerous.

Many argue that if a church believed that homosexuality was a sin and decided not to hire leaders that were un-repentant, active homosexuals, it would be judging the person for their behavior. Professor Osler said: “don't think you can decide it is your role to help other to identify their sins and pretend that isn't judging. Of course it is. That's what calling another person a ‘sinner’ is.” I think this is an extremely tricky issue. The Bible does tell us not to judge, but what does that mean? Just because Christians use their judgment, that doesn’t mean they are judging as the Bible tells us not to do. We must be able to discern what sinful behavior is. In the context of a church, we need to be able to communicate to fellow believers when we feel like their acts constitute a sin. That does not mean that we are judging. I say this because if Christians weren’t able to do this, it would be impossible to follow other commands in the Bible. The Bible requires discernment of sins throughout the New Testament (“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.” Galations 6:1; “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.” Matthew 18:15 (spoken by Jesus)). One of the roles of the church is to try to help others within the church live as Godly and sinless of a life as possible, and it would be impossible to do this if we accept the definition of judging that so many have given it. Judging the other person would be condemning them or deciding in your mind that they are a bad person, which is not proper. I think that the concept of judging is one of the most misused parts of the Bible.

As Christians, we are always discerning what behaviors God has deemed to be unacceptable, and we have always attempted to keep Christian institutions sacred by trying to keep those behaviors from being encouraged or celebrated. It is not considered to be judgmental in the context of other sins. Why should homosexuality be any different? We don’t consider it unloving, judgmental, etc. when Christians make discernments of other, less controversial sins. For example, it is sinful to worship other gods. If a group of people wanted to worship a pagan god in a Christian church, Christians would have no problem deciding that this type of worship is not Biblical. It isn’t judgmental for the Church to keep the worship of pagan gods outside of the church. The Church isn’t condemning the pagan worshippers or deciding what their punishment should be. The Church is merely making a discernment that this type of behavior is not Biblical, and thus, it shouldn’t be encouraged or accepted within a Church. I see no difference with homosexuality. We cannot define “judging” as discerning whether an act is sinful only for homosexuality and then allow this exact same discernment for other sins without considering it to be “judging.” It is dangerous to have a different standard of what judging is for different sins. It gives man too much power to manipulate the Bible to his liking.

Many critics may be thinking that I am treating homosexuality harsher than any other sin considering that we are all sinners, including the leaders of our Christian institutions. The argument you may be making is that if we’re all sinners, why should homosexuals be kept from being a leader while other sinners are not? The difference between the two is not the sin. As I’ve argued throughout, homosexuality should be treated like all other sins. The difference between the two is repentance. If somebody is struggling with homosexual urges and slips up and sins but then repents and tries to stop engaging in those acts, that person is exactly like any other sinner. However, the problem that I see is when homosexuals have determined that this isn’t sinful behavior, they aren’t going to attempt to stop doing it, and they aren’t going to ask for forgiveness for it. If the Baptist Church believes that homosexuality is a sin, it would not make sense for the Church to have leaders who were engaging in that act without repenting. The Church would then have leaders that have a fundamental difference of opinion on a huge issue. Practically, this could lead to major problems. Imagine a deacon in a Baptist church teaching that homosexuality is okay. This would be in direct contradiction to the message that the church believes in. Additionally, in 1st Timothy Chapter 3, the Bible lays out that leaders of the Church should be very respectable men of God. Appointing leaders that are un-repenting would not fall in line with that passage. This is another area where trying to apply the argument to other sins shows how preposterous it is. Imagine a person trying to be a leader in a Christian institution who believes that adultery is not a sin, who continues to commit adultery, and who won’t repent for that behavior. It would be wholly uncontroversial for Christian institutions to find that this isn’t the type of person that should be a leader in the institution. I see no difference for homosexuality.

I have heard from many people that Jesus was about inclusion. I agree with that. However, sin separates us from God, who is perfect. Including others doesn’t mean encouraging acts that will keep them further from God. That would actually have the effect of alienating them from God, not including them in His glory. The key is not to keep everybody from sinning . . . that is impossible. The key is to try to keep everybody within the Church as close to God as possible, which means to try to keep fellow believers from sinning, but also to keep them repenting. This is what will bring a sinner closer to God. This is what will lead to the ultimate inclusion.

In conclusion, Jesus Christ was all about love. I am so blessed to have been washed by the blood of Jesus. I am so glad to know what true love is. I believe that because sinning keeps us from God, it would not be loving to encourage sinful behavior. I believe that having a functional and Biblical church means not having leaders that will not repent of their sins. I hope that I’ve at least illustrated why others believe the way that I do. I hope that people can see that in this difficult subject, Christians like myself make our decisions based on the love of Jesus and not based on hate as we’ve so often been accused.

Rick Perry!

2011-12-09T16:04:00.002-05:00

Haiku Friday: What is your elf name?

2011-12-09T00:01:00.000-05:00

I'm a little obsessed with elves at the moment.

Industrious, focused, jolly, and they work for the ultimate job creator. What's not to love?

As part of my obsession, I have been pondering my elf name. I have rejected Sparkles, Prong, Snickers, and Bluto. The winner, on the other hand will be reflected in my haiku below:

What is my elf name?
Based on my main hobby,
I choose "Doggerel."

Now it is your turn! Just make it 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 again. Note that the first line of "What is my elf name?" works pretty well...

The winner, as usual, gets his or her biography right here on Monday!

Political Mayhem Thursday II: Job Creators/Job Destroyers

2011-12-08T09:15:00.002-05:00

The Republican push these days to describe wealthy people and corporations as "job creators" is really starting to bug me.

Of course some wealthy people create jobs. I understand that. Some corporations do, too. I'm all for that.

But labelling all rich people and corporations as job creators makes less sense than calling the federal government the "Amazing Job Generator." (After all, the federal government is good at creating jobs... something I join with conservatives in criticizing).

The bare fact is that many wealthy people and corporations are actually job destroyers-- they have consciously chosen to cut back payrolls and shift jobs from the United States to places overseas.

I have no problem with calling some people and companies "job creators." In fact, if a company chooses to keep or shift production and jobs to the United States, I say we honor them publicly and make that an official title. But, at the same time, we should identify other rich people (via their investments) and corporations-- those who have cut their payroll in the United States-- as "job destroyers."

Why won't Republicans go for that? You tell me...

Political Mayhem Thursday: The War on Christmas!

2011-12-08T00:01:00.000-05:00

[click on the cartoon to enlarge it/thanks to a certain Wacoan of the Year for the tip]

A topic of debate in several places at the moment is the "war on Christmas"-- that is, the trend in some places to avoid references to the upcoming Christian holiday. To get a general overview of this critique, check out the War On Christmas website and John Gibson's War on Christmas treatise. Here is Bill O'Reilly's take:

Is there a problem?

Who is this? And why haven't I heard of them?

2011-12-07T13:29:00.000-05:00

Wilco!

2011-12-07T00:51:00.004-05:00

I just got home from the excellent Wilco concert at the State Theater here in Minneapolis. The opening act was Nick Lowe, who joined Wilco for "Cruel to be Kind" as a second encore. I have previously featured that song here on the Razor, and love this video, which was partly filmed at Lowe's own wedding to Carlene Carter, a daughter of June Carter's and a stepdaughter of Johnny Cash. Dave Edmunds appears as the limo driver:

The band (Rockpile) was there for the wedding, so they didn't have drums and had to borrow a kit from local LA band, The Textones. The photographer is played by Rockpile drummer Terry Williams, who later played with Dire Straits during their run of hits.

It's the Razor Holiday Shopping Guide!

2011-12-06T00:01:00.002-05:00

Every year about this time, the Razor features some great ideas for Holiday gift giving! Here are several ideas for the discriminating shopper!

1) Tires

Who doesn't love automobile tires? Everyone needs them, but no one seems to have time to pick out a nice set for themselves. That's the recipe for the perfect gift. May I suggest Uniroyal Tiger Paws? They are uniform in color and pleasant to the eye. Moreover, the Tiger Paw is no longer made with actual tiger parts, a move which has made these tires both cheaper and less furry.

2) Sporks

People often ask me, "Professor Osler, how many sporks should I buy?" My answer, of course, is "how many can you afford?" The spork is the utensil of the future, so treat a loved one to a big drawerful of sporks. As budgets are strained, the silliness of buying both spoons AND forks will finally be revealed.

3) Gelatine

Did you know that gelatin is part of the "meat" food group? It's true, because it is made out of bone marrow. Now, it's not necessarily human bone marrow, but still...

4) Snow

It's fast, easy, and fun! Just wrap up some snow, put the package under the tree, and wait for the fun to begin!

Next: The secret to a great Christmas card!

Our winner: Justin T!

2011-12-05T00:01:00.001-05:00

What a great week for haiku! Justin T. is our winner, though, for bringing the OWS movement back to Advent, where it belongs:

Good King Wenceslas?
Feasts while kingdom nearly starves!
#OccupyStephen

And now, as promised, is his biography:

Justin Randall Timbertoes (born January 31, 1981) is an American pop musician and actor. He achieved early fame when he appeared as a contestant on Star Search, and went on to star in the Disney Channel television series The New Mickey Mouse Moon Man Club, where he met future bandmate JC Chasez as well as his future employer, Grumpy the Dwarf. Timbertoes became famous in the late 1990s as the lead singer of the boy band 'N Sync, whose launch was financed by Grumpy.

In 2002, he released his debut solo album, Justified, which sold more than 700 copies worldwide. The album was a commercial success, spawning the hits "Cry Me a River" and "Rock Your Body". Timbertoes continued his success with his second solo album, FutureSex/LoveSounds (2006), debuting at number one on the Billboard 200 chart, and produced the US number-one hit singles "SexyBack", "My Love", and "What Goes Around... Comes Around".

Timbertoes has won six Grumpy Awards and four Emmy Awards. His first two albums made him one of the most commercially successful singers in the world, each selling in excess of 7 copies. He also has an acting career, having starred in films such as The Social Network, Bad Teacher and Friends with Benefits. His other ventures include record label Tennman Records, fashion label Grump Haus, and the restaurants Dwarf Den and Arby's. Romantically, he has been linked with Dolley Madison, Rianna, Snow White, and Pixie Stick, the demon elf.

He now resides in Alaska, where he works as a public defender. He shares a one-bedroom apartment with Grumpy.

Sunday Reflection: Today's sermon

2011-12-04T07:02:00.007-05:00

Today I am preaching at the Church of the Holy Comforter in Richmond, Virginia. This is more or less what I will say (and you will probably notice the strong influence of my mentor, Wacoan of the Year 2011 Bob Darden):

I received a note from Geoff [the Rector] about giving this sermon, telling me that the sermon should be about justice, and hope, and same-gender Holy Blessings, and also about John the Baptist. Which is, let’s face it, a lot to wrap up in 15 minutes, but I’m going to give it a shot.

Two decades ago, I was in law school. In the summer, I worked in Chicago, and lived in a small room in Streeterville. On Sundays, I would often walk up a few blocks to Michigan Avenue, and into a beautiful cathedral. That church, Fourth Presbyterian, was a rich and fascinating place, overwhelming. I didn’t know anyone there, or really anyone at all in Chicago. I was alone on a hot summer.

One Sunday I found myself sitting beside a woman and a girl, a mother and daughter. As the sermon began, I saw the girl writing on an envelope, the way children will do. It was… different, though. She was counting something, making hash marks in groups of five. I looked for a pattern, and couldn’t see it for a while, until it clicked—she was making a mark every time the minister, John Buchanan, used the word “love.”

That’s it, isn’t it? Justice and hope and new social institutions and the riot of John the Baptist do not usually all live in the same place. We have to pick them up and take them with us to somewhere unfamiliar. There is a… journey. And it must be a journey defined by love.

That was the thing that was most revolutionary about Jesus. His answer to everything was “love.” They were stoning a woman, and he loved her despite her sins; they brought him children and lepers and those who were despised, and he showed them love; they asked him which of 600 rules was most important, and he announced two great commandments of love… to love your God and to love your neighbor. Every time he was confronted with a rule, he responded by talking about the principle of love. Not easy love, either, but a love that required sacrifice and heartache and change.

There is this, too… that when Jesus was to leave this earth, he told people there would be one to come after him—the Holy Spirit, the Holy Comforter. I’ve always found that remarkable, that there is this sharp breaking point there, with prophets before that time who had come to shake things up, and the Holy Spirit afterwards, to challenge and comfort, a spirit of love in full.

That love, God’s love and our love for God, does not always provide us with easy answers, or even any answers at all. It's often troubling and unformed. When I read the story of John the Baptist, what amazes me isn’t the bug-eating and the beheading, but the fact that his message was so vague. He told people to repent and be baptized in the name of… well, he didn’t know who yet, someone who was yet to come. And somehow, people bought into this! He told them to share their possessions, and they came. He told them to sacrifice for love, and they came. With no Messiah but a promise, with no riches, with no theology, really, they came. Love is that strong.

The Gospels are full of journeys. The people journeyed to see John the Baptist. Joseph and Mary journeyed to Bethlehem, great with child. At Passover, the pilgrims would journey to the Temple at Jerusalem, as Jesus did.

This church sent me on a journey.

As many of you know, I worked for ten years at Baylor University, which bars gays and lesbians from working there as faculty or staff, or as students. I confess that I did not think much of this while I was there; it didn’t seem that any of my students were gay.

I was wrong. After I wrote an article about my own repentance from bigotry, I heard from many of my former students who told me about the problems they had, being forced to hide their true selves when they were studying with me. They were some of my favorites, too (you know there are favorites), the ones who were bold and sharp and questioning. I was stunned, and ashamed. What we at Baylor had told them, quite clearly, was that there was no love for them, on earth or in heaven, and I knew that to be wrong.

So I went back to Baylor. I wrote an article urging the school to change its policies, and set up an interview with the NPR station there to talk about it. The local paper, the Waco Tribune Herald, agreed to run my article on August 28, and I booked my trip for that week. I also asked my old church in Waco, Seventh and James Baptist, if I could speak there about the issue.

It all fell apart. I woke up on the 28th of August and looked online at the paper—the article wasn’t there. A Baylor Regent had stepped in (as was his right-- he owned the paper). I found that my interview at the NPR station (located in a Baylor building) was also off. Perhaps hardest of all, I got an email from the minister of my church, saying that not only would I not be welcome to speak that week, but that it would be an inappropriate topic any week.

I was at a loss, and heartbroken. This church was my spiritual home, and turned me away when I needed it most.

There was a moment of hope, though. I pulled up a message from a member of this church, reminding me of the importance of what I wanted to do. So, I regrouped. I submitted the story to the Huffington Post, and it was read there by over 100,000 people. I went to Waco, and ran into an old friend who asked me to speak on campus. I did, and found an informal group of Baylor students who wanted to examine issues of sexual identity. They had been denied student group status, and they would be meeting the next night in the dining hall. They asked me to come speak.

I did, of course. A local TV station came to cover it, and something remarkable happened. I spoke, and then some of the students, and then the President of the group concluded, giddy with excitement. During this time, other students had come into the hall from a pep rally across the street—the cheerleaders and the freshmen and the sorority girls. They sat quietly and listened. When the president finished, they all started to cheer: first the members of that group, but then the rest of them, too, the cheerleaders and the freshman and the sorority girls. It was a moment of grace and love and redemption and, yes, justice. They are still meeting every few weeks, too, and their numbers grow.

Of course, I heard from those who disagreed with me. They would also oppose same-gender blessings in church, I suspect. They stood on rules, for the most part… rules from Leviticus, rules from what they called “common sense.”

But I know what Jesus said about rules and the principle of love, every chance that he had. There may be judgment, certainly, but that is God’s work. Ours is to love one another, and to love God. Jesus came not to destroy the law but to fulfill it, and he did fulfill it through his life and death and life again, allowing us to move forward under the principles he taught.

In a world where two men or two women can blessed before this altar of God, things will be unfamiliar. That is the nature of the journey. That is the cost of justice and hope and love.

I am here to walk with you.

When I was a child, my mother would sing a song whenever we were going on a trip. We called it the “Packing Up Song,” and it went like this:

Packing up.
Getting ready to go
Packing up
Getting ready to go
Packing up
Getting ready to go
I’m all packed up getting ready to go.

I found out years later that it was an Appalachian version of an African-american spiritual, about the journey to freedom. But isn’t that every journey we make with the Holy Spirit, a journey to freedom, to the unfamiliar?

Let me walk with you.
I'm packed.

Santa!

2011-12-03T00:04:00.000-05:00

Haiku Friday: Christmas Songs

2011-12-02T00:01:00.000-05:00

It's time... we can now listen to Christmas music guilt-free. I love Christmas music, as many of you know, and delight in finding new things every year.

Let's haiku about that... here is mine:

Minnesota snow
Or Waco's wet December,
Sweet voices carol.

Now it is your turn! Just make it 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, and 5 in the third... if you win, your bio will appear here on Monday!

Political Mayhem Thursday: Newt!

2011-12-01T00:01:00.000-05:00

The leader of the pack in the coming-up-fast Republican primaries (January 3!) is Newt Gingrich, who appeared dead in the water not so long ago. Of course, that was back in the days when Michelle Bachmann was making news for something more than unfortunate photographs (which I am NOT going to link to).

Nearly everyone seems to say the same thing about Newt Gingrich-- that he is smart, that he has some good ideas, and that there is no way he is going to win. It's pretty much what they were saying two weeks ago about the then-ascendant Herman Cain (except maybe the "good ideas" part). There is kind of a bleak acceptance that Mitt Romney will be the nominee, but no one really is very excited about it.

In the meantime, here are some fun facts about Newt:

1) Before entering politics in 1978 (when he was elected to Congress), he was a history professor at West Georgia college. He was denied tenure (ouch!) at about the time he transitioned to politics. Until I looked this up, I was under the impression that he was actually a prominent historian who entered politics after a distinguished academic career. (Of course, I also recently confused Fredrick Douglas with Stephen Douglas, so I am not in much of a position to criticize him).

2) In 1988 I read Gingrich's book Window of Opportunity, and liked it so much that I tried to lend it to friends (including IPLawGuy).

3) Gingrich's first wife was his high school geometry teacher, whom he married when he was 19-- right after high school.

4) Gingrich was Time's Man of the Year in 1995-- and deserved it, given his important influence on American politics at that time.

So... is there a chance he will be President?

Just up at the Huffington Post...

2011-11-30T12:56:00.004-05:00

... is this piece on the Oregon Governor. It's a different take than my previous op-ed on the topic, which appeared on CNN.com. For the moment, it is the top "featured post" on the religion page.

I think it's a fascinating story... please post it on facebook or something if you like it. If you don't I will send Clippy over to your house, and he will bug you constantly, saying "It looks like you are trying to ignore Mark Osler! Would you like some help?"

On Writing and more

2011-11-30T00:01:00.004-05:00

Sometimes, I am a writer. It's funny, in a way-- when I was a kid, I always wanted to be a writer and see my words in newspapers and books. Then I fell in love with the law (I really did), and it felt like stepping away from that dream.

But, who knew? The vocation of law actually was thrusting me into a world defined by language, by writing and speaking and advocating for (if you are lucky, and I am) those things that are closest to your heart. I get to do exactly that. I write articles and stories and a book; I send them off and people (sometimes) take them as worthwhile, all of which still holds great magic and wonder for me. I'm still surprised when I see my name, or read my own words.

But... I get to be a teacher above that. My first discipline is to my students (though I realize that this prioritization may fly in the face of convention in some parts of the academy). I love that feeling of looking out at my students, or (as happened yesterday) having what they called "hang-out class" which revolves around a review of their work. I'm a lucky man.

Beyond that, I get to advocate for what I believe in. Tomorrow, I will fly to DC for a second meeting with a group in the Department of Justice, who may adopt an idea I have been promoting. (vagueness intentional, for now). Then, I will travel to Richmond to give the Sunday sermon at a very special place, Holy Comforter Episcopal Church on Monument Avenue.

And then, the Spring... here is what is coming up then:

January 15—Trial of Christ, Fourth Presbyterian, Chicago, 12:30 pm.

February 7—Trial of Christ, Episcopal Divinity School/Harvard, 7 PM

February 15-- Mid-Day dialogue with Susan Stabile, on the topic of "Faith and Works" (I am for them; Susan is against them)

February 24—Death Penalty presentation, Belmont University, Nashville [Feat. Todd Lake, pictured above]

February 25—resentation to Tennesseans for Alternatives to the Death Penalty conference, Nashville

February 26—presentation at St. Henry’s Catholic Church, Nashville

February 27—Trial of Christ, Carson-Newman College, Jeffersonville, TN

March 18—Trial of Christ, St. Henry’s Catholic Church, Nashville

April 5 (Maundy Thursday)—Trial of Christ, Crossings Community Church, Oklahoma City, OK

May I recommend...

2011-11-29T00:01:00.002-05:00

Megan Willome's Blog, Sabbath Says, is chock-full of good stuff, including non-haiku poetry. Because Megan is a great writer, it is probably not surprising that she has a great blog. I met Megan when she wrote an overly-kind (but wonderful) profile in the Wacoan Magazine a few years ago-- a profile which also resulted in the worst modeling performance ever (cue banjo music):

Our winner: S!

2011-11-28T00:01:00.004-05:00

Blogging was a little light this week due to the holiday, but we still got some great haikus. In a close second was this gem from Seraphim (and believe me I would love to write a bio for that...):

Breakfast of the gods:
turkey, bread, lettuce, mayo
(then cold pumpkin pie)

Our winner, though, was "S," who wrote this masterpiece:

Pie, pie, glorious
PIE. Refuse you? Oh, but why?
Hot or cold, still pie.

And now, the Story of S:

In an age when women were not accepted as college football players, S defied convention. Pushing her long hair up into her helmet and then refusing to take the helmet off until she was back home was a sufficient disguise, as her ferocious demeanor on the field hid her public identity as an intellectual and a thespian. While her university (Texas A & M) was not exactly known for great football, she helped them overcome several Division III and high school opponents. Her position, eighthback, required her to position herself between the center and the quarterback, and then leap onto the opposing defensive players while striking them on the head with a variety of concealed objects. She was outstanding at this particular task, and received a full scholarship after her freshman year. As a senior, she was not only a starter, but was coaching the team, all while refusing to take off her helmet.

After college she was unable to catch on with a professional football team, and instead played for three years with the Detroit Lions. A fractured tibia ended her career, and she then was able to focus her full attention on the firearms store she still maintains just outside of Sioux Pines, South Dakota. Congratulations to S!

Sunday Reflection: My Secret Desire

2011-11-27T00:01:00.001-05:00

I'm hoping that a prurient title will pull people in today!

Some of you, no doubt, expect me to expound on my desire to someday be the Pointer of Interest in the Grosse Pointe News, but let's face it-- that desire has never been very secret. Every week, they have talked about someone, for the over 2200 weeks that have passed since I moved to Grosse Pointe as a kid, but I have never made the cut. Meanwhile, dead people, vagrants, even a dog (it was a pointer, duh) have been profiled, but not me. What's a guy gotta do?

Anyways, that's not my secret desire. My real secret desire is to make the bread for the eucharist during advent. I can't fully explain why this is. Part of it, no doubt, is based on my deep connection to that wonderful and ancient process of making bread... there is an intimacy to it, really, because the bread is a living thing (at least leavened bread, using yeast, is). It responds to your touch like a lover, based on mood and temperature and place, and there is this wonderful mix of physicality and patience that is required. You work on it hard, with your knuckles and the heels of your hands, and then you wait... and if you don't wait, your efforts are for nothing. It sits there, building up, under a cloth on the counter (can you see it?). And then, in the end, there is a miracle. I remember once describing this to Craig Pankratz, and he nodded either knowingly or obligingly, but it felt good to talk about.

Next week I am giving an advent sermon at Holy Comforter in Richmond, Virginia. I won't get to make the bread, but the sermon has to be made the same way, with kneading and patience and hopefully a sense of wonder at what comes out, only partly made by me.

New Stuff on the Webs!

2011-11-26T00:01:00.006-05:00

My short piece on the Oregon Governor's decision to issue a moratorium on the death penalty is up now at CNN.com, at the top of the opinion page. Also, you can hear the interview I did earlier this week with a Michigan radio station (on the topic of juvenile life without parole) now-- part one is here, and part two is here.

Both were great opportunities to speak out on some remarkable developments in sentencing law-- I really do believe that if we academics want to influence policy, we have to speak to people outside of the academy about the things we care about. If that means taking some insults in the comments sections... I'm ok with that.

Haiku Friday: Leftovers!

2011-11-25T00:01:00.001-05:00

There are a lot of traditions around Thanksgiving-- turkey, Lions' football, Kitchen Dancing-- but none more prevalent than the tradition of fabulous leftovers. Let's haiku on that today. Here is mine:

One gross leftover:
Icky, gooey, cranberries.
Autumn's toxic goo.

Now it is your turn! Just make it 5 syllables for the first line, 7 for the second, and 5 for the third. The winner gets a bio here on Monday!

Write! (Please).

Happy Thanksgiving from IPLawGuy and Pickles the Cat!

2011-11-24T12:46:00.001-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving!
by: oslerguy

Turkey Mayhem Thursday: Best Turkey Ever!

2011-11-24T00:01:00.003-05:00

I've found that the best Thanksgiving turkey you can get is one that has been brined. Here is a good recipe from Allrecipes.com.

The real trick with brining is finding a container that's large enough to submerge the turkey, yet small enough to fit in your refrigerator. Try a stock pot, a bucket, an upended Volkswagen, a hockey bag, or a roasting pan; if you use a shallow roasting pan, you will need to turn the bird periodically so that each side rests in the brine. Place the container on the lowest shelf of the refrigerator (so spills won't reach foods below). If you have refrigerator magnets, place these magnet-side-up on the bottom of the container.

The basic ratio for turkey brine is two cups of kosher salt to two gallons of water. Some recipes include sweeteners or acidic ingredients to balance the saltiness. In some areas of Arkansas, the components of meth are added to the mix to provide an extra "kick," to often-tragic results.

Dissolve salt (and sugar, if using) in two cups of hot water. Stir in remaining gallon plus 3 ½ quarts of cold water.
Remove giblets and neck from turkey.
At this point, give your turkey a name and refer to it by that name thereafter.
Immerse turkey in brine and refrigerate for at least eight hours but no longer than 24 hours.

When you're ready to roast, pour off the brine. Rinse the turkey well with cool tap water, and pat dry with paper towels.

Tuck the wing tips behind the back and place the bird, breast-side up, on a roasting rack.

Proceed with your preferred recipe, but remember that the turkey has already absorbed a significant amount of salt--any drippings that you use for gravy will already be salty, and no salt should be added to compound butters or spice rubs.