Osler's Razor

 A while ago I was thinking of using my vocational knowledge to write a children's book about the mischievous FNU LNU, who sneaks into a kid's house and commits various felonies, told through a series of indictments. It hasn't gone anywhere. Neither have these ideas I threw out there:

1) Green Eggs and Crack

In this illustrated future classic, a hapless citizen is the recipient of endless offers of free crack by a shady character known only as "Son of Sam I Am." This will bring new meaning to classic phrases like "would you, could you, on a boat?"

2) Frog and Toad are Felons

"Good morning, Frog."
"Good morning, Toad."
"Would you like to hold up a convenience store?"
Toad looked up. "I suppose," he said.

3) The Berenstain Bears and the Messy Execution!

Here, the ageless bears are hired to conduct lethal injections in Texas. As one might expect, mayhem ensues until wise old Mr. Abbott arrives to put everything back in order.

4) The Runaway Bunny and the U.S. Marshal

Baby Bunny is a parole violator! Luckily, an important community helper is there to gun down Baby Bunny when he appears to be reaching for a metallic object once he is cornered after a high-speed chase.

5) Charlotte's Web of Conspiracy

Wilbur the pig is living an unremarkable life on the farm until he meets Charlotte, a spider whose unusual ideas lead to several overt acts and the eventual indictment of all the barnyard friends.

6) James and the Giant Bong

James' friend Lil' Wayne has a special and amazing surprise for James!

Of course, some of the best stuff has already been done:

# posted by Mark Osler @ 1:00 AM