Saturday, June 28, 2014
The other hamburger clowns
I was always a little confused by the claim that (the super-creepy) Ronald McDonald is "America's Favorite Hamburger Clown." I mean, how much competition is there for that title? I wasn't aware of any other hamburger clowns until I dredged up old memories and did some research. Here are just three (I'm leaving out the infamous Burger Chef, who wasn't a clown but instead seemed to just be a straight-out pedophile):
1) Sloppy Joe
Originally created as mascot for the now-defunct
"Cracker Barrel Jr." fast-food restaurants, Sloppy Joe now
free-lances for individual Hardee's outlets that contract directly with
him. His persona centers on his unkempt
appearance, distinctive aroma, and trademark shopping cart full of personal
items and cats. Catchphrase: "My
cats love Cracker Barrel Jr."
2) Jack-In-The-Box
Here we have an entire restaurant chain named for a
hamburger clown. Jack, of course, is a
bizarre apparition who is usually portrayed as either screaming at customers or unusually
jolly. Jack-In-The-Box was the only
fast-food restaurant in or near Grosse Pointe when I was a kid, and I'll never
forget the awkward experience of yelling my order in the clown's wide-open mouth at the
drive-through. It didn't make sense,
even to an 11-year-old... why would you yell into someone's mouth? Wouldn't it make more sense to yell into his
ear?
3) Carl, Sr.
The mascot for the Carl's Jr. chain in the west, Carl Sr.
was a dapper gentleman with a cane, monocle, and revolver who advised children
on decorum while dining. After a number
of violent incidents, was "retired" to Victorville Federal
Correctional Institution. Once took a
shot at Sloppy Joe in a Wal-Mart parking lot in Bakersfield, California.
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There was a "Chicken Cowboy?" Hmmm, only if he was a clown-boy. Did the Chesapeake Bay Seafood Prison have a mascot?
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