Osler's Razor

Such an important point. Like domestic violence, virtually anyone can be a victim of bullying. It doesn't matter how big you are physically, how much money you make, what you do for a living or study in school, how smart you are, or what kind of family or community that you're from. There is no need to feel ashamed if you are a victim, and people often are.
 

I have been pondering bullying for a while and whether I was ever bullied as a kid. I am fairly certain I was. But it was described as "poking fun at" or "making fun of" in those days and my parents told me those poking the fun did it because they liked me and didn't know how to say it. I learned to walk away.

I think 'real' bullying in the old days involved pushing and shoving between boys. But bullying is complex and occurs in many forms and extends, sadly, into adult lives.

Kudos to Jonathon Martin for standing up, speaking the truth and walking away. It is unfortunate that it came to this, but he is the bigger man and will be the better respected in the long run.
 

Having spent years in locker rooms, as well as a former D1 college athlete, as a former HS coach, and as a college administrator … I think there is no place in sports for hazing, let alone bullying. We had a terrible case a few years ago with one of our teams (D3) where their tradition of hazing crossed the line into some very ugly bullying. Both of which were a violation of college policy. And this was not an anomaly at our school, nor would it be an anomaly at any school with athletics. And this is not to begin to touch pro sports. Yet, trying to discuss this with coaches and administrators is like having a meeting with the Flat Earth society; it is very difficult to get past the accepted posits of their assumed world view.
 

The alleged threats made on social media are legally actionable, and should be reported to police. This type of bully has been allowed to get away with it for many years - no one has stood up and made him back down, either physically or legally. The only result of 'walking away' is to be labeled a coward and allows the bully to continue his reign of terror.

You should be ashamed of remaining a victim! It is your choice to do so. Whether it is mental or physical, you always have a choice of response, including legal, physical, or simply returning the ridicule.

Running away just empowers the bully to continue.

Lee
 

Two things:

1) I would suggest you read this old story from Bruce Feldman story about Incognito growing up - http://m.espn.go.com/wireless/story?storyId=8150378&lang=ES&wjb=

2) I think it's really fascinating how many people (not here) are both decrying bullying and going out of their way to call RI names that have nothing to do with his behavior. Even checking on twitter and you see a staggering amount of abuse heaped on the guy that would have fit nicely into the narrative if he had said it to Martin.

In that context, I have two questions:

1) What is bullying anymore and how does it differ from the dumb stuff that we kinda need to tolerate in a free society? I've always assumed that a power imbalance needs to exist, but reading the articles and think-pieces that distinction seems to absent.

2) I assume that RI is going to get much more sheer abuse heaped on him than he ever gave to Martin -- is that right? (MO: This speaks to your point, while we can agree that action is required, I imagine there is a wide spectrum regarding the nature of such action)

-gd3
 

As you say, Mark, this is a super complicated story. Here is a thoughtful piece that may begin to scratch the surface of this perplexing window into the NFL and professional sports and other various iterations of "manhood" cultures: http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/81380/the-miami-dolphins-and-everything-that-will-never-make-sense