[Check out some more terrible restaurant names here]
I've been to some pretty bad restaurants-- the place with the heavily bandaged waitress, the "square fish" cafe, Hardees. Let's blog about bad restaurants today!
Here is mine:
The portions were small,
And the food was all awful;
Why did I go back?
Now it is your turn! Just make it 5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables, and the winner gets their biography here on Monday!
Fat Ho Burger joint
ReplyDeleteWhat are those burgers made of?
I don't want to know.
We went where we could
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to see him
Oh, but that buffet..
There were many smiles
And tears, each time we went there
Hello and good bye.
MMM
Mister Ed's Tee Pee,
ReplyDeleteOurs long before it was Ed's.
Now it's so much worse.
Pannekoeken (!!!) Huis:
Good idea in theory,
Bad execution.
Fuji-ya, thirteen
weeks gestation with my first
born. Never again.
"A Good Place to Eat"
ReplyDeleteIn Merchant's Square, Williamsburg.
False advertising.
But now it's the Cheese Shop! Yay!
ReplyDeleteOrdered the Orange Beef
ReplyDeletewanted Chinese so badly
not sure what we ate
Hot Dogs, Funnel Cakes
ReplyDeleteTake me out to the ballgame
Please pass me the Tums
Aromas circle
my nose, but my stomach wines
Be safe, just drink beer.
Patio Drive In
ReplyDeleteKiller house chili dogs, beer
So bad it was good
(Utica, NY; slogan: “the dogs don’t bite here”)
For Texas Monthly:
ReplyDeleteI was hired to do reviews
Bad pay, great prestige.
My assignment? All
Restaurants between towns of
Dallas and Austin
Only got sick twice:
And both times in a Dennys
Dude! I was Grand Slammed!
Bob
Northern Wisconsin –
ReplyDeleteThe sign promised home cooking.
Glad it’s not my home.
The sullen waiters
ReplyDeleteServed: Dishwater soup,limp greased
Romanian food?
The filthy streets where
Black kerchiefed babushkas trod
Unshod,fought for bread.
Hotels for tourists
Featured mahoghanny beds,
But restaurants reeked.
It would have been good
To fast,or live on love,
Teens kiss in lifts. Bread!
*Note: for syllabic perfection,I was forced to use the English word,"lifts" instead of elevator. In 1968,my dear father sent me on a People-to-People tour of Europe,which included a 3 day visit to Romania. I have never been so glad to get out of anywhere,as I was when we left there. I remember spending The 4th of July on the hotel roof,and singing "The Star-Spangled Banner" with tears in my eyes.
Breaded mystery;
ReplyDeletewhat is inside matters not.
Battered by Long John.
Waffle to the House!
ReplyDeleteD.C. road trip in one day.
Stopped, ate. We suffered.
-Robert Johnson
The meringue pie glowed
ReplyDeleteMiracle Whip the sauce du jour.
Lime Jello,food of Wisgods.
Some folks went there on
Purpose.I avoided their
Sky Sign on stilts.
Norske Nook, Eden of
Midwest.You call.Luckily
My hearing aids are out.
Waffle House, ahoy!
ReplyDeleteThe syrup is real corn syrup!
Uh-oh. That guy died.
Norske Nook! Been there.
ReplyDeleteThe food was fine. But the guests . . .
stared. Awkward. Truly.
Mickey D's near home,
ReplyDeleteFloors were sticky, the food cold,
Salmonella, barf.
Wally's Chinese Kitchen
ReplyDeleteGrease coats the ceiling. Hot Sour
Soup is Neither. Ewww.
I just want this lady in my Book Club to open a restaurant.. Last night she made us Dates Wrapped in Bacon. AWESOMMMMMMMME.
The cockroaches danced
ReplyDeleteThe jive across spotted cloth
Cobwebs be-laced cake
A small mouse (cheeky)
Ate his feast from a jar lid
Of poison mid-room.
She wrapped my cake to
Take with me,the only way
To preserve dignity.
I felt on the cusp
Of vomitting,but loved her &
Dreams of true love man.
All alone,dying
I saw her under filthy
Sheets,going to him.
I stroke greasy hair,
White like snow,croon Russiantunes
Lullabies 'fore you go.
Paula Petrovna
I keen for you,eons-old
Cake,wheezy walk.Idi s Bogom
This isn't about a bad restaurant,but about a woman I used to visit weekly for Little Brothers of the Poor. It was difficult to go there,and then it was difficult to leave. She was in her nineties when she died. Her husband had died many years before and so she lived all alone in a rattletrap house downtown on 7th Street. Even in her old age she would still have romantic dreams about her husband. Can you imagine?It was a privilege to know her.