Tuesday, September 27, 2011
As if covered with shag carpet
[Yes, I know... this simply continues my seeming obsession with puppets playing rock music]
I've just returned to my office from Buffalo, Minnesota, where last night I addressed the Episcopal Church's Clergy Conference. The topic was "Leadership, Community, Context: Creating Space for Conversation."
I'll admit that I felt a little out of place talking to a roomful of priests about the discussion of moral issues-- it gave me a lot of empathy for Beaker, a lab assistant, when he was called upon to wear a green velvet tuxedo and sing a Coldplay song (as seen above).
An understanding and engaged audience, though, makes almost anything worthwhile, and I certainly had that. I came out of it with thoughts and insights I did not have coming in, which is a great thing.
I left very early this morning, just at dawn, to make it back to school to meet students at 9. As I was walking out, one of the priests was reading in the lobby. We discussed my talk for a moment, and she mentioned a reflection she had. One of the people in her congregation was very disagreeable on some political issues, and she dreaded that. However, she realized that if he was sick or lost a family member, she would be the one to go and help, and that changed her outlook. There is a real truth there-- that we need to make a conflicted relationship bigger than just the conflict.
So I walked out then, by the lake, one of those calm Minnesota lakes with a morning mist. There was a stillness in that small moment, and I soaked it up. When I finished my prayer of thanks and looked up, the sun was starting to rise, tinting the darkness. On the far edge of the horizon, the land of the unknown... it was all yellow.
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Mark … wonderful observation … yes, as I might summarize … we need to make the relationship bigger than just the conflict. Too bad we cannot do more of that in our body politic. In my line of work, not everyone that walks into my office is likeable … some are likable … while many present in a way that makes it hard to like them at first blush, and some can be concurrently quite contentious … the later traits often having much to do with why we are meeting in the first place. A key piece for me is to try to find a way into their story where I can genuinely like them, and as appropriate, to feel compassion for the pain that often informs all the surface conflict and the distancing that goes along with it. Sometimes finding the way in takes a great deal of patience, and sometimes folks push hard (for a variety of reasons) for me not to like them. At times like that I try to remember those I have frustrated, those I have pushed away out of fear … and more so, those that have extended me far greater patience than I ever deserved … there is often a wonderful grace to be found when you find the right opening and find your way in.
# posted by 
: 5:47 PM
: 5:47 PM
As you heard on Monday night after your presentation, one of my colleagues said it was the best practical session that she has experienced in 18 years of attending these clergy conferences in Minnesota. The truth is that we often find ourselves in the position of being spiritual leaders in the midst of difficult conversations, conflict, etc. Most of the time, however, we muddle through those experiences, learning -- or not -- as we go. Some were lucky enough to start ordained ministry on a church staff with a seasoned mentor. Of course, each year, as costs increase, those kinds of positions become fewer in number. Seminaries don't teach these skills, but they're essential for long-term survival and for the health of our faith communities.
On Tuesday, Native American clergy led our morning prayers, which included chanting and the burning of sweetgrass and a prayer of thanks for our guest speaker (i.e., you). In the evening, the Bishop referenced your presentation in the context of a question that someone asked him about a challenging issue on the horizon. He was being clear about his own position as a spiritual leader, about the dignity of those who do not share it, and about the role of our churches as sanctuaries for these difficult conversations to take place.
Thank you.
On Tuesday, Native American clergy led our morning prayers, which included chanting and the burning of sweetgrass and a prayer of thanks for our guest speaker (i.e., you). In the evening, the Bishop referenced your presentation in the context of a question that someone asked him about a challenging issue on the horizon. He was being clear about his own position as a spiritual leader, about the dignity of those who do not share it, and about the role of our churches as sanctuaries for these difficult conversations to take place.
Thank you.
I think that video has been modified. I'm pretty sure this is the original version - Muppet Bloopers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KANI2dpXLw
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KANI2dpXLw
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