Tuesday, September 01, 2009

 

Oh! So... that's what it's called!



Every once in a while, Blaine McCormick and I will meet for lunch over at Penland Hall, which is a dorm cafeteria on Baylor's main campus. Last week, we sauntered over to the dessert table and found what may be my favorite food label of all time, pictured above.

At my own alma maters, the food varied considerably. At Yale, the food was outstanding, while at William and Mary it was pretty bad. One redeeming feature of the W & M cafeteria, though, was the "Your Questions" board outside the main door. You could drop a question in a box, and a baffling handwritten response would appear a few days later. Two responses still crack me up, all these years later.

In the first, someone (me) had asked about a featured item called "Clammos." I had previously asked if Clammos were, in fact, made out of clams, and got a simple "yes" in response. Because Clammos tasted more like polyurethane, I tried a follow-up. "What part of the clam are Clammos made of?" I asked. The response: "Clam Toes."

The temperature was usually crazy at the Caf, too. On hot days, it would be frigid, and on cold days it would be boiling inside. This seemed not only uncomfortable but a waste of money, so there were several notes over time with the same question: "Can't you get the Caf to be a consistent temperature?" The response was always the same-- "The temperature is controlled by a computer in Richmond."

That had to be the worst answer to a serious question ever. First of all, WHY was the temperature controlled by a computer in Richmond if it did such a lousy job? Secondly... what was up with this computer? Was it some kind of evil twin of the HAL 3000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey? Had it been programmed by someone who was shockingly drunk? Yet, this computer kept its job despite terrible performance for all four years I was at W & M.

Feel free to add your own horrifying dorm food stories in the space below.

Comments:
It is a well known fact that the toes are the tastiest part of the clam. I am surprised you did not know that.

And you call yourself a lawyer.
 
The only "dorm food" I ever ate were pita wraps from the Jester convenience store. I was smart enough not to eat dorm food from, you know, the dorm cafeterias. Cafeteriae?

Anyhow, that stuff is poison, and much like another Kubrick movie, will steal your essence.
 
Clam toes are a delicacy on the Outerbanks.

Wow, that's pretty bad. We had great dorm cafeteria food at Miami U. Explains the weight I gained during my 4 yrs; that along with pizza and beer.
 
The food at St Rose was not terrible. On days like today, when I'm eating a bag of trail mix and a Red Bull for breakfast, I would give anything for a waffle bar. Or even an old lady in a hairnet, dishing out mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop.
 
TCU did a number of things well. The best was southern food---smothered pork chops, ham, greens, etc.
 
I had to look at that photo of the green cake again - disgusting?

The question is why?

Was it at least mint flavored?
Is there some obscure Irish holiday we don't know about?
 
I have elected to have cake for breakfast. Thank you, Prof.
 
You should go eat in Memorial. It is the Taj Mahal of Baylor dining experiences.
 
I think you've found a new iconic blog photo, to replace the one of the guy with the keg on the hood of the car . . .
 
No nothing will replace the guy with the keg NOR will green Cake replace the guy with the yellow hat.

I wonder if that cake was somehow supposed to be Baylor School Spirit?

It does in fact look like it was made by a bear.
 
I'm obviously not to the age at which I need "dorm food", but one day, after some horrifying "beef stroganoff" (I packed my lunch), the lunch lady came around with a cardboard box and asked us to dump our leftovers in.

Turns out, she was out of dog food and needed to feed her dog.
 
Yes, I agree with the Prof; the Caf at W&M was horrid. I bailed on the meal plan after Freshman year and after sophomore year didn't set foot in the place ever again.

Fortunately our fraternity house had an excellent chef with good meals nights a week.

One amusing Caf story-- the classic film "Animal House" came out a week before I started college. Therefore, to honor John Belushi, the Caf erupted in food fights on a regular basis. Over Christmas break the College put up partitions in order to control the carnage.
 
But Oz... pretty much ALL of the buildings at W&M were controlled by "the computer in Richmond" (except perhaps for the residences).

I distinctly recall that, during rehearsals in PBK, the heat/ac would kick off at 930 PM every evening.

I also recall that, with Richmond west of the rain/snow line, the heat would crank up when it was snowing there but raining in the 'Burg.

I bet that computer in Richmond took up a whole room, then, too... today, an iPhone could probably handle that task.
 
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