Osler's Razor

What about Baylor Law's own "Chicago" Joshua Straub?
 

Ernie Banks. No question.
"Let's legislate two!"
RFDIII
 

What about Hurricane Ditka?
 

Chris Chelios -
Because I've never really accepted him as a Detroit Red Wing.
 

I'm sure Chicago would legislate some interesting stuff.
 

I vote for Tiny Ditka.
 

Da Bears!
 

I vote for Ozzie Guillen.
 

I swear I CANNOT hear that man's name without thinking of Chris Farley in a Hawaiian skirt and coconut bra dancing around going DAAAAAAAAAAAAA BearsDaBearsDaBearsDaBearsDaBears and then finally having a heart attack from too much sausage, only to later give himself CPR.

I seriously think it should be Oprah...

Can you see it?

Scented Candles all over the Hill

All the legislators carrying their Oprah Books in Oprah's favorite things tote bags

When she votes she goes "NAAAAAAYYYYY AYYYYYYYYYY" in that distinctive sing-song Oprah yell... or maybe "VEEEEE TOOOOOOOOO!"

Gayle and Beyonce and Maya Angelou and Tina Turner and Halle Berre always hanging around her office

She gets Obama to appoint DR. OZ as Surgeon General, Puts Bob Greene as head of the President's fitness council

Tells Ted Kennedy that he would get better if only he would meditate, go on a completely macrobiotic diet, get a trainer and a Man Makeover - including a little Manscaping for those sideburns and a Man Facial at the Man Spa that she opens right near her office.

Nate Berkus gets to decorate her office - I mean this could be a whole new CapitOl Hill.

Beyonce DID SAY that singing at the Inaugural ball made her want to get more involved in politics. Well, girlfriend, this is your moment.
 

Ha ha, I am with Tyd, the Hill needs a makeover, literally! Just as long as that Dr. Phil gets sent overseas somewhere dangerous...
 

"Whada about a senate of tiny didkas?"
 

Oprah's pretty smart. She could handle herself in the Senate.
 

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Ditka could, too! But Oprah's bigger.
 

Ditka vs. Oprah:

1) hot wing eating contest
2) filibustering ability
3) fashion sense
4) arm-wrestling
5) influence in Chicago

Who wins?
 

No contest: Ditka.