Osler's Razor

What did Cinderella say when her pictures did not arrive?


Someday my prints will come.
 

what's the difference between a guitarist and a 3.5 watt light bulb?



When the light bulb burns out and needs to be replaced, it might be difficult to find another one
 

What's the definition of an optimist?


a Luthier with a mortgage.
 

A Rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder.

The bartender looks and them and says, "where did you get that?"

The frog replies, "Brooklyn! There's hundreds of them walking around down there!"
 

osler what is the picture of the feet about?

Guess What>????? Bill and Spencer have still not left yet. THey are driving me insane and its 3 :00 PM and they need 11 hours to drive to San Jose they were supposed to leave Fri AM. IT is Saturday afternoon.

Typical.

SO MAYBE MAYBE I get to sleep in on Sunday. But I know Bill will call me fifteen times an hour...


I did not habve any big plans but I was going to get some Thai food, read my Princess Diana book, eat popsicles and watch shows about murder and cooking - you know - all the stuff I love. Instead Bill is running around the house looking for guitar parts and tools, Spencer is going insane, all hopped up on sugar because he found a toostie roll pop sucker he is eating. The house looks like a tornado hit it (or maybe a gas explosion occurred) and I cannot even START to clean it until they get out of here.


I will bet anyone a toupee for Osler that they do not leave this house until 6 PM. Bill is as always finishing the guitars wiring SPencer is a spaz they still have to get gas he has to pack the car 7 PM at the EARLIEST AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Its not that I do not love my family, because I do. But they are on my last nerve right now. AND there is not ONE THING I can do to get them out of here sooner. They are packed , ready to go... just waiting for Bill to finish stupid guitar stuff.
 

What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?

A kid won't eat broccoli.

How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a lightbulb?

28. 1 to hold the ladder, 1 to screw it in, and 26 to demand a raise.
 

I already told my "Kicks are for Trids joke." And the "Little Johnny" jokes are not appropriate for the razor.

My Dad's favorite joke when I was a very little kid was:

Did you hear about the three holes in the ground?

(long pause)

Well, Well, Well.
 

Q: What's the appropriate thing to say when you first meet a drummer?

A: Yeah-- I do want fries with that!
 

The patent lawyer turns angrily from his window overlooking the busy town square and says to his client:

"Death Ray" my ass! This doesn't even slow them down!
 

What's the difference between a soprano and a barracuda?

Lipstick.
 

Why don't cannibals like to eat clowns?



....because they taste funny....


I feel ashamed.
 

OK Yes I was right they ended up leaving at 7:13 PM
But alas
I miss them already. Spencer's fire enging bed is soooo empty the house is way too quiet.

ITs kind of creeping me out.

SO I am going to go on the internet and shop for things I do not need and cannot afford.
 

Rev,

If I was counsel to the New Yorker, I might have something to say about ripping off a classic joke like that.
 

iplawyguy -

What if I didn't know it came from the New Yorker?
 

Then you might avoid statutory damages
 

Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?


That's where all vegetables are washed.
 

b--

I don't get it!
 

What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?


Odor in the court!