Osler's Razor

Forests and trees; I
See locks (not lochs) on legs.
Men in skirts--not good.
 

Can't go anywhere,
Squeezing all the soft luggage.
It's a big damn deal.
 

The law school capers--
Swanburg, Baker, Carver, Yee
More than just misery.
 

Up too late again:
I must work on the morrow.
Insomnia sucks.
 

so where are the grades
for prof. responsibility
hopefully no F's
 

A luthier's child
Striking a chord with nature
disturbs his mother

Both Plaid and Capers
Pointe of order, I object
Argumentative

A Children's Story?
Kurtz,Baloo both in jungle
thought the Mom with Bleach
 

Trees whisper above
I float between earth and sky
Water cradles me.
 

Oh, wait you said "By the pool"...
Sorry my haiku is IN the pool. You can listen to Ipod Barbri in the pool you know.
 

Embarrass my child?
Appear kilted in public?
Oh, it could happen!

Haiku rules are firm
But is Hiaku different?
An Osler secret?

A Razor lesson
Thanks to the blog, I now know
The word "luthier"
 

Doesn't Poseur know?
Or did he miss the challenge
Who was Del Crandall?
 

Stinky French overlords!
You cannot have our Razor!
Go back to Paris.
 

I knew Luthier
That was a really weird name
But he had good wood.
 

Scotland in two months
Kilts here i come, looking good
Must work on my legs.
 

Stay back luthier!
This here kilt is off limits.
Get your wood elsewhere
 

Osler's brief career
Playing bass with Del Crandalls
Led straight to law school (?)
 

Mario Claiborne dying
Sends ripples out through the law
But... a child was there.
 

I do not know law.
Post-Dispatch says "Morio."
Is he the same guy?

Lots of work and dough
Went into that petition.
Start over again?
 

slow unholy death.
words repeated yet again
did he just say taint?
 

Summer vacation
Old enough to ride my bike
To the swimming pool

Shimmering water
Chlorine and baby oil smell
Blaring hot sunshine

Reckless abandon
Undercurrent of self-conscious
I jump off the board

Over and over
Each jump subtly refined
Perfect cannonballs

Life guards' whistle blows
"Sixteen-and-under-out" time
Pauses the chaos
 

The lifeguard's singsong,
Zinc on her nose-- I'm in love
"Don't hang on the ropes!"
 

Hangin' by the pool
Kids, stay away from that guy--
Weirdo in a kilt!
 

I was a fry cook
Now I'm a big shot lawyer!
My Name is Osler
 

I shucked oysters
And drove a tractor, poorly
My name is Osler
 

JJS, you rock
Yours and Hunter's reflections
Make me glad to teach.
 

Can't read French, so I
pretended they told tales of
Osler's underpants.
 

I am quite perplexed.
"Law School Caper"? Was ist das?
Do I get ice cream?

Osler's Beginnings.
The tale of a man's quest to
Become a jedi.

Osler was a small
Boy who could not even spell
"Midichlorian".

No bowl cut for he,
But rocked the mullet proudly
As no jedi could.

His lightsabre was pink
And made in Europe, but all
Feared his honed, sharp wit.

An accomplished knight,
Osler struck down Darth Antar.
Killed my dad he did.

I seek my revenge
At Baylor - Forty large a
Year. Ouch! My wallet.

As I recall though,
He hated process serving.
Thus, he entered law.

I remember the
story of serving a mom
while at the kids' school.
 

Bumped my head at the
pool yesterday and it looks
like someone beat me

I tried to cover
the big scab with concealer
But, still is scary

Never play Jaws with
a scared 3-year old baby
Injuries happen
 

The French takeover
Where are the Germans when the
Razor needs their help.
 

Pretty much true, Carver.
 

I hate tankinis
Bane of the pool and ocean
Just show me the abs!
 

I Still don't get it.
Why Osler is now lawyer.
Oysters were involved?

Last night for dinner
we had Lobster. I forgot
I like crab better.

Have to go now. The
child about to escape the
Hotel room.Save me.

I don't like to be
mean mom always. It really
blows. I suck at it.

Hard when mom is your
only job and you really
suck at it. Oh Well.

He is three! I can't
just let him run out the door
and stuff. Must be mean.

I read books, study
how to be great parent. I
still suck at it. Blecch.

I try my best. It
is a very hard job. Quite
Mind numbing at times.

Probably not as
tough as the law, but I do
have to lay down law.

Still, Spencer is a
total joy. So smart, funny,
he is my turtle.

I call him turtle.
He has soft squishy inside
With Hard Candy shell.
 

I am fond of turtles
On the beach or Entourage
They are goofy-good.
 

Jump in the pool, you!
Guy in the big woolen kilt!
He sank like a rock.
 

Hiking Toledo,
Cathedral looks very nice,
Lunching in the shade.

Forty-four students
From Baylor are now in Spain
Having too much fun.

Are we there yet? They
Ask for the umpteenth time, I
Am going insane.

Where are the bathrooms?
I really have to pee, Doc.
What should I do now?

Cathedral is old,
Pigeons pooh at will on me,
Where is Tyd with Bleach?
 

Yum, Alice Waters--
Greens from the yard, local beef
Lint from her navel!
 

Where is Tyd with Bleach?
Running down a hotel hall
Yelling at Donut.
 

I will never understand blues music. Never ever.
Must always hear it. Will never ever get it.
 

Celebrate donuts
sweet foods need a holiday
donut day proclaimed!


It really is national donut day
 

Robert Johnson howls
Through car speakers in Portland:
"Tyd done did me wrong"
 

Attention! Students!
We are here for dog day-care!
Do not pester us!
 

I love the line from "The Simpsons": The blues aint about making yourself feel better, its about makin' other people feel worse.
 

The Simpsons: Baylor
Prof. Simpson-- cuter than Bart,
Smarter than Homer.
 

Tyd says I'd like Blues
If it were more like Disco
Boogie Fever Blues

Radio hand-off
Tyd's turn shifts to laugh channel,
Sirius Martha
 

What's wrong with Martha?
Made creme brulee on tv
while still on parole.

I actually
Can't stand her, but was tired of
Muddy, Bootsy, Hook.

I have new name for
Spencer: "Crabby Von Poopenstein."
He's better today.

Spencer is sleeping.
I love him very much, my
snoring li'l turtle.
 

Martha made salad
from "the yard", toaster oven
apples IN prison

Just a bit nutty
in the wrong way, not tasty
Please pass the shiv, thanks

Spencer Decided
"Now I a Snapping Turtle"
Teeth Marks on my arm